To refuse to un-recline dd's plane seat...

[MerryMarigold]

Dh reckons I am. I reckon I am not.

So, long haul flight. Up at 3am to get to airport. 2 flights, 4 hour transit, bit of a hideous trip.

Anyways, on second flight, dd aged 5 FINALLY falls asleep. Thank God. Recline her seat so she is more comfortable and will hopefully sleep longer. 5 minutes later lady behind pokes my arm and asks me to put the chair up. Not very politely. I tell her my dd is asleep. She says she can't open her table with the chair reclined. (I have done this many times, so know it is entirely possible). I kneel on my chair and help her open table. Says she can't see TV screen. I adjust TV screen angle for her. She then proceeds to kick Dd's chair several times, whilst I get annoyed but decide to ignore.

10 mins later drinks come round and she speaks to the air steward in local language. He says to me. "Can I raise the seat?" and I tell him dd is sleeping. He says, "I'll do it gently" and just leans over me and does it. Thankfully she didn't wake up and managed to sleep in a contorted way for a lot longer.

I am usually the sort of person who doesn't stick up for myself and who doesn't like putting other people out (I didn't recline my own chair for the entire 9 hour flight as her large dh was behind me). I was very tired, I think that's why I was a bit arsey. I am also not being PFB. I have 3 children, but the others were not as tired and were fine.

Dh said it was her 'right' to have the seat up at least until the food is cleared up (this is probably at least 3 hours into the flight as it's a long flight). I said, "Says who?" Does her right to eat more comfortably trump my dd's right to sleep more comfortably?

So who is right?

Your dd fell asleep upright and carried on sleeping when the seat was returned to upright so she couldn't have been that uncomfortable.

YWBU to recline the seat.

YABU
I'm with your DH. I think it is rude to recline your seat without checking it is ok with the person behind first.
I think the lady may not have been so abrupt with you had you asked her beforehand if she wouldn't mind you reclining your seat.

Reclining when food is being served is rude and annoying, I think YABU.

YANBU. Seats recline, its your seat, recline it if you want! I do not understand at all why its rude to recline your seat when food is being served, its a pain but completely possible to use the tray on a reclined seat.

Used to work for an airline we got this complaint all the time - you are entitled to recline your seat as it is a service/comfort the airline have sold to you.

However we do think it is reasonable if requested to return to upright position on meal service but once trays cleared feel free to recline and relax!

I think on balance YABU. A lot depends on the airline ie space and design Someone reclined in front of me the one time I flew KLM, and catapulted my dinner and gin into my lap. The stewardess made him sit upright as well.

I never recline when the person behind me is having a drink or meal. I don't think children get any special rights in this situation. The converse, really - they are only small!

Right in the middle on this one as have been on both sides. I very rarely recline my seat, but on a long haul flight have done so if the person in front does it. There may not be less leg room per se but it absolutely makes things difficult if you;re tall or larger as the angle of the seat in front attacks your knees (in my case.....big bird height!) I think that if the lady could not use her tray, it was a little inconsiderate to refuse and your daughter would not notice the angle change very much. Having said that, the lady concerned needs to appreciate that she's in economy and suck it up also.

Of course you were entitled to recline your dd's seat as you had paid for it. However I think the recline function should be removed because space is so limited that you shouldn't be able to pinch a bit from the person behind you. Dh is 6 foot 6 and was already squashed into his seat when the person infront exercised their right to recline - onto his legs.

I think it's unnecessary and rude to recline your seat on a short haul flight but on long haul then I think it's perfectly acceptable - and I do this. However I do think you need to respect etiquette by not doing it during meal service.

The thing with people who complain about recliners is that it's often a knock-on effect. The person in front of you reclining probably has someone in front of them and so on...

Just to clarify it was not during meal service. Nothing had been served. Later drinks were served which is when she complained to steward. Dh said I should have waited till after meal. I think I may have been more open to her request if a. She'd had to balance a tray and b. She'd asked politely.

Tricky one.

I think that on a day time flight, the right to space trumps the right to recline.

Once it's night time (and plane lights are dimmed) everyone sleeps and reclines so at that point right to recline trumps right to space.

Appreciate she is 5 years old and may be less able to cope without sleep than an adult. On the other hand she is 5 years old so won't be driving or working after the flight, so the worst that happens if she is tired is she gets grumpy.

Overall YABU. Though of course she WBU to be rude and kick the chair.

I am actually feeling the rage for you OP.

How very dare the woman kick the seat!

I would much rather sit behind a sleeping child with a reclined seat, than one who kept sticking their head up over the seat and asking me questions, or vomit on me, or any of the many other things a 5yo might possibly do on a flight.

As soon as the meals were cleared, I would have reclined my own seat, just out of

YWNBU op. Or aggressive as some people have stated.

The guy who slammed my seat forward while on a transatlantic flight was aggressive. I asked the steward if we were allowed to recline and she said of course. She must have seen something as she asked me if that man had pushed me. I should have insisted on a formal complaint about him as it was really a form of assault. I was travelling with my DS and I was scared of this man's aggression. I was younger and less experienced. I'd insist on a police complaint for assault now. As were were in American space, I think he wouldn't have got away with it. I moved to an empty area because I didn't want my ds near him. I then heard an altercation from the man behind him because the man who had pushed me had reclined his seat. He was rude and aggressive to the man behind.

Some people are aggressive and entitled. There are certain times you're not allowed to recline. Other than that, you're perfectly entitled to do so. Only instance I probably wouldn't do it if someone had a baby on their lap behind me.

They recline sleeping adults in long haul during meal service or have done on the last few long haul flights I've taken (BA/ Continental UK /> US).

I had a very groggy wake up coming in to the Uk at about 4am with the steward leaning over to sit me up as it was breakfast time.

Having tried to eat with the person in front reclined I had no issues with this at all.

Yabu as u reclined it while she was using tray and also as ur dd clearly did not need it reclined.

URgh they unrecline sleeping adults in long haul.

If my dd was napping I would definitely recline the seat. If the woman behind would have to lump it. I imagine she'd rather have an inch less space than an overtired screaming child sitting in front of her.

The seat reclines = recline it.

I did not recline it whilst she had tray out!

YANBU - it is entirely possible to bring the tray down while the chair in front of you is reclined, as you proved. It is entirely possible to see the video screen while the chair in front of you is reclined, as you proved. Her kicking the chair was completely puerile behaviour, how rude! And the steward should have sodded off too.

IF you had reclined her chair while the tray was out and drinks/food were on it, then YWHBU, BUT you didn't.

I hate having to wake DSs on longhaul flights, usually to make them sit up for landings :(, it's awful. I sympathise and am very glad for you that your DD managed to stay asleep.

But why if the child was already sleeping? That's pointless. Reclining it just because you can despite it making no difference... entitled.

plinth, I agree that a reclined seat is better than a screaming child, but in this case the child was already asleep and continued to sleep with her seat upright. It was not necessary to recline the seat and it just caused aggro.

Am I the only one who thinks it's funny how worked up people get about this?

Possibly to ensure she was as comfortable as she could be as they had purchased seats which had a reclining facility. I presume there were other people on the flight whose seats were reclined and the steward didn't make a general announcement that nobody was to recline their seats.

I can hardly move as it is on planes - my legs are too long - I'd be quite put out if someone reclined a seat onto my knees!

She was sleeping anyway - most 5 yr olds will sleep on a nail if tired enough.

I think I may invest in one of these -

www.gadgetduck.com/goods/kneedefender.html