To be incensed by nonsense phrases

[watchingthedetectives]

"Eat beautiful"

"Eat colourful"

"Fly smart"

What do all these crap slogans mean. They actively put me off eating at Itsu, Pret and flying Aegean if I could actually "fly smart" it would most certainly be with another airline

There seem to be more and more of these phrases emerging daily. Some advertising genius is making a fortune with these random half baked statements.

A pop of colour - urgh (worse of course if it's a lip or trouser that is effing popping)

A good/bad place meaning good/bad situation or circumstances - grr

Chaos ypu mean inappropriate analogies and I agree
vlad that's the friends and family test, a fairly new thing but I thibk they are implying (as opposed to similar institutions). Its a given that yourr family member requires the hospital treatment :o
great thread!!

"Bang on trend" or "Bang out of order" - Noooooooo!

Bang to rights!

Who are you wearing?

My kids school motto is "Above all, a place for learning". Well of course it fekin is! Can you imagine how many brainstorming meetings they had to come up with that.

Also saw today some tomatoes "grown for flavour". What on earth else would they be grown for?

I'm with you all on loads. I hate
Om nom nom
Hun
On trend
Pop of colour and.....
"Hand made sandwiches"
Maybe I am being a bit dense but how else could sandwiches be made?

Oh and
Just chillin'

I haven't read the full thread as it's late and I need to go to bed - but that advert with (I think) Edith Bowman on it. She says something like, 'get up and go Travelodge'. Gives me the pure RAGE whenever it comes on.

DH mutes the tv now

I bought some kippers from Sainsburys the other and they were labelled 'Smoked Kippers'; as opposed to unsmoked kippers no doubt.

Do the people who designed these labels imagine that this flat gutless fish is pulled from the sea and then smoked to produced 'smoked kippers'. Do they actually know what a kipper is?

And the one that really annoys me is; nought percent finance/interest; makes no sense whatsoever.

Yes, school mission statements are full of "learning journeys" and other utter twaddle.

And I can't watch that new programme, Touch of Cloth.

Sounds too much like touching cloth for my liking.

"Touch base" is from baseball; I love baseball so use many of its terms that have worked into general language, but then again, I am American. I don't use terms from cricket like "off his own bat."

There is a cafe near us with TV advertisements that extol their "hand-crafted slaw." The notion of "crafting" slaw, one of the most down home country side dishes there is really cracks me up. So now whenever we encounter slaw we have to know whether it is hand crafted.

I have a particular problem with .... sleeps to ....

I don't care if it is 130 sleeps to Christmas, you sound like a child ffs..

Continuing on a similar theme, no mother, your 70 something year old friends aren't girls, they are women.

Subway- "Eat Fresh"- where is the rest of the sentence!!

Oh yes - 'pop of colour'. Yuk.

I hate "hand fried" as I imagine people burning themselves horribly holding each individual crisp in the deep-fat fryer til it's done. Glad other people hate pan-friend and oven-baked. What next, "hen's cloaca-exited eggs"?

Also loathe "fat free" as in "72% fat free!" That'll be 28% pure fat then. It's like saying I'm 95% (or whatever) liver free.

Labour had a recent slogan that was something like "hardworking Britain better off". Better off what? Dead? Under the Tories? Than hardworking Somalia?

(Just had to google the phrase, lest Labour press people think it's worked brilliantly because it's memorable. I just remembered it was shit, I'm afraid.)

The notice outside the village school says 'here for the whole child.'
Well, we try to keep them in one piece...

If I never hear the work 'hardworking' come out of a politician's mouth again, it'll be too soon.

Chemical Free!

Hmm, so what's it actually made of then?

'It's all good'

and

'Oh my bad'

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!

On the front of 'Just Juice' cartons it says 'No gunk, no junk, just juice!'

Exactly what would constitute either 'gunk' or 'junk' remained unspecified.

The product's called 'Just Juice', FFS. The world is easily divided into things that are in Just Juice and things that aren't.

In it: Juice

Not in it : Everything else

Just read through thread and am now apoplectic

Had forgotton about 'nom nom', 'hun' , and however many bloody sleeps there are until some banal event.

ALSO

#hashtagsmakememurderous

DD1 recently received a birthday card (well, a particular one among many) with a bit of glittery stuff on. It had a huge 18 on it, the number was really the only part of the design.

So we had to smile when we read on the back "unsuitable for children under 3."