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Original poster

To let DD1 wear her Elsa dress to this party?

153 replies

MoragG · 09/08/2014 20:26

DD1 (4) has been invited to a birthday party which had invitations with a 'Frozen' theme. She was looking forward to wearing her Elsa dress, which she loves. Today I got a text from the mum (sent to all the guests) saying that they are welcome to wear fancy dress but that the birthday girl will be dressed as Elsa. Is this a roundabout way of saying no one else should wear an Elsa dress? Would it be really bad form to let DD1 wear her Elsa dress or is the mum being a bit precious?

OP posts:
Sleepysheepsleeping · 10/08/2014 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlacidApricots · 10/08/2014 08:52

Send her as Elsa, and if the mum comments, give her a head tilt.

Balaboosta · 10/08/2014 08:57

Daft thread about nothing! Birthday mum is letting you know that your dd can't expect to be the only elsa cos her daughters is dressing as that. Or something. Does not say nobody else wear elsa dresses! Put your daughter in her elsa dress and get her to that party.

Branleuse · 10/08/2014 09:03

can you text her asking if that's what she means, because elsa is the only frozen themed costume you have

gamerchick · 10/08/2014 09:05

I would check and if it is as it's implied then I would decline the invite explaining why. Impossible to explain to a little kid why they can't wear their favourite costume if they're expecting it.

MyLegIsHaunted · 10/08/2014 09:08

My niece had a frozen party recently, my SIL sent out a text saying niece would be dressing as Elsa so if anyone else wants to dress up too they can.
I'd send her in her Elsa dress!

SuffolkNWhat · 10/08/2014 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarlettsmummy2 · 10/08/2014 09:17

The mum sounds horrendous and I can't actually imagine anyone actually doing that.

bakingtins · 10/08/2014 09:18

I love fancy dress parties, but I'm always concerned not to be putting pressure on other parents to come up with a costume. I normally put something on the invitation that says we will be dressing as .... fancy dress is optional, but this in no way means anyone else is banned from being the same character. There were at least five Harry Potters at our Hogwarts party, several Tinkerbells at Peter Pan etc. She can't expect parents to provide a different outfit if they already have Elsa, and the options are a bit limited.

5madthings · 10/08/2014 09:20

Oh dear it does seem to be being implied bday girl can be the only Elsa...

Fwiw I have ds4(6) who is fancy dress obsessed, esp super heroes and they often wear the outfits in non uniform days so in his class you get a bunch of Spiderman etc. He has objected to this and I have just said it's tough you don't get to say what other people can wear.

He is a lucky boy in that he has one outfit sent from America, courtesy of an amazing mnetter actually. And no one else has the same outfit and also an 'epic' outfit made by a friend so when he wants to be the only person in an outfit he wears one of those.

Generally at this age though the kids all love the fact they are all dressing up, no preciousness over who is wearing what.

My household has so far escaped frozen madness as none of the madthings are bothered, twice now I have put the DVD on and neither time have any of them Sat and watched the whole thing, although dd does like the let it go song.

3littlerabbits · 10/08/2014 09:26

She's just letting you know that her dd is dressing up as Elsa, not that yours can't. If she hadn't put 'tho' then could definitely read that is MY daughter is dressing as Elsa. With the 'tho' it means your dd can dress up if she wants, but if she doesn't, be warned that her dd will be, and as Elsa too, so your dd is likely to wish she had gotten her dress on.

CombineBananaFister · 10/08/2014 09:31

Just txt the mum to clarify - saves all the misinterpretation. Then choose to ignore depending on what she says Grin

I wouldn't really stress about it though, it's a kids party and tbh probably not a fun one if there's going to be 10+ girls with long faces at a themed party that they can't dress up for - madness!

Laundryangel · 10/08/2014 09:33

I read the "tho" as just meaning that the party girl will definitely be in fancy dress - and Frozen fancy dress at that - so all others are welcome to come in their favourite dressing up clothes & you needn't worry about your child looking out of place in some piece of flouncy polyester tat as most others will be too but, on the other hand, if your DC hates dressing up & wants to come in top & leggings, that is equally fine.

MammaTJ · 10/08/2014 09:39

I think children of that age like to dress in the same outfits. I am imagining excited squeals of delight as your DD arrives in the same dress as the birthday girl!

Pipbin · 10/08/2014 09:41

Why can we not ask the birthday mum if that is what she means?

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 10/08/2014 09:49

I'd text back and say

Thanks -for the heads up, dd has an Elsa dress too, i bet there'll be lots of Elsas there! you want me to bring anything? X

Micksy · 10/08/2014 11:35

Her text is ambiguous, as shown by responses here. How about texting

Easily confused here. Is it okay for dd to be Elsa too? It's the only frozen outfit she has.

Halfling · 10/08/2014 11:40

Just ask her if her dd will mind if your dd dresses up as Elsa. Then be guided by her response.

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/08/2014 11:48

I think the text could be read several ways and is very confusing.

I'm going to go with " wear what you like fancy dress wise but my dd is going as elsa but you don't have to dress from frozen"

Because I can't believe a mum would be that ridiculous or a child allowed to be such a diva at 4.

There aren't that many characters there are bound to be loads of elsas

brokenhearted55a · 10/08/2014 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jennifersrabbit · 10/08/2014 12:18

Just thinking it through:

Consequences of texting to clarify and/or sending DD in Elsa dress:

  • if mum didn't mean to be ElsaZilla, then your DD happy, birthday girl happy, all well. Mum has opportunity to clarify that she wasn't being ElsaZilla to all other parents.
  • if she did mean to be EZ then a strop may ensue but at least you have fair warning for another time; alternatively she may realise what a prat she's been!

If you just don't send DD in Elsa dress then:

  • if EZ not intended, birthday girl may be upset, your DD will be upset, mum will be mortified if she works it out but may not have the opportunity to clarify.
  • if EZ intentional, mum will think this is OK to do next time presumably?

I think id text, or send DD as Elsa. Enjoy the party!

CheerfulYank · 10/08/2014 12:28

Marking place. I am bizarrely invested.

BoiledPiss · 10/08/2014 12:28

Subbing for the outcome, i would send your dd as elsa, the mum is being utterly unrealistic!

BigfootFiles · 10/08/2014 12:33

Just because the invites were "Frozen" invites doesn't mean the party is necessarily a themed "Frozen" party.

I would assume any fancy dress is fine and it will be standard party games, party food, probably a Frozen cake if that's what birthday girl is into, but not a full-on Frozen-fest. She's not actually said it's a "Frozen party" anywhere.

gingercat2 · 10/08/2014 12:41

Definitely let your DD go as Elsa.

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