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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be disappointed in my otherwise wonderful friend

76 replies

Thefishewife · 05/08/2014 16:34

My friend is going to Sneek her 13 year old into see inbetweeners this week at the cinema and I just feel she's really let herself down she a fab parent in every other way but on this issues she seems unable to get it

She pretty much watch whatever and I just feel this can be very damaging for children the I do however feel their is a real selfish element on her part I did point out their are many really good films out for teen boys at the moment and suggest we take the boys to see Hercules instead she said that's boaring and she didn't want to see it my explanation that when taking children to see a film weather the adults enjoy it are a mute point really but she said she won't waist money on a film she won't get anything out of
AIBU

OP posts:

Original poster

Thefishewife · 05/08/2014 16:35

Sorry if the post is a but muddled if you don't get the just I will explain again

OP posts:

Original poster

Thefishewife · 05/08/2014 16:37

I really think you have to pretty much put any day taking the kids out as a waisted afternoon and if you do by chance like the film then count your self lucky

But I just rally feel when their are so many films out there rated 12a that are really good why Sneek a 13 year old into a 15

OP posts:

SloanePeterson · 05/08/2014 16:40

Her child, her choice.

AlpacaMyBags · 05/08/2014 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptChaos · 05/08/2014 16:41

If her 13 yr old enjoys watching it, then what's your drama? We tended to do things we all enjoyed together, so no wasted afternoons here.

LynetteScavo · 05/08/2014 16:42

Ummmm..YABU

I'm pretty much a sticker for going by ratings with my DC, but I hardly think a 13yo is going to be traumatized by some swearing and sex references.

YA also being U to think you "have to pretty much put any day taking the kids out as a waisted afternoon". Like hell would I take my DC somewhere I wouldn't enjoy at all, otherwise it's a wasted life. Life is too short to spend time in indoor play centers is my moto.

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 16:43

More to the point, is it of course illegal

Ragwort · 05/08/2014 16:43

Didn't realise the Inbetweeners was a 15 - my 13 year old has seen it, and the previous one.

I sympathise as I do think you should try and find a film that you all enjoy, no way would I sit through a boring film just to keep my child happy - if there is nothing suitable then do something else - swimming?

I would be a bit relaxed about it, it's not like an X rated film is it? However I was always very, very strict about not allowing DS onto FB until he was 13 when plenty of parents turn a blind eye or even encourage it.

Original poster

Thefishewife · 05/08/2014 16:44

Fair enough I taking my son to see planet of the apes and won't be going along to Sneek in my son to a 15 rated film

OP posts:

OorWullie · 05/08/2014 16:44

To be honest I doubt there is much in the Inbetweeners that a 13 year old isn't already aware of, and if they want to see the movie its' something they obviously already watch at home.

It's up to your friend what she thinks is suitable for her child, not you.

A friend of mine once criticized me for allowing my four year old to watch Doctor Who, because it was too violent for the four year old she occassionally babysat. I wasn't very happy about it.

weatherall · 05/08/2014 16:44

Well you should give yourself a prize as you must be a perfect parent who has never done anything another mum could criticise.

I hope you're a better parent than a friend.

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 05/08/2014 16:51

She doesn't have to Sneak him in. The ratings are for guidance not legal requirements. If a parent wants to take their child into the film it then it is their choice.

DaisyFlowerChain · 05/08/2014 16:54

If the most selfish thing she does is ignore the age guide on a movie by a couple of years then I doubt her child will be in therapy later in life. There are many selfish things parents can do but this is not one of them.

ViviPru · 05/08/2014 16:54

I'm curious... you're obviously being autocorrected to 'Sneek' - I wonder why it puts a capital letter on it?!

LynetteScavo · 05/08/2014 16:57

Maybe she has a friend called Sneek......

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 05/08/2014 17:00

Yabu, it's a comedy with a few swear words and a bit of sexual innuendo, the rating is a guidance meaning that it's certainly suitable for ALL over fifteen year olds but may not be for many under that age. His mother obviously thinks he's mature enough for it and having seen the first movie and watched the TV show I expect that it would be fine for most thirteen year olds.

Purpleroxy · 05/08/2014 17:02

The inbetweeners is funny. Yabu.
They'll enjoy it and better that your friend can explain stuff to the 13yo. If my dc were 13, I'd happily take them.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 17:06

This boils my piss as someone who used to work in a cinema. Although she may find that her kid gets ID'd by the staff and refused entry.

That said, if the member of staff lets someone in under age and they get found out, it is the member of staff who will be in the shit and could get sacked.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 17:06

DameEdna We were always told they were a legal requirement.

I actually saw someone get sacked for letting in someone who was underage.

Cluffyflump · 05/08/2014 17:07

I've watched the inbetweeners (1st one) with ds, just before he was 13.
He found it hilarious!
We had a long chat about the problems that teens have (fitting in, relationships, sex and so on).
I felt that the film was great for him to watch and would recommend it for that age group.

ViviPru · 05/08/2014 17:07

Lynette, maybe. There's a city in the Netherlands called Sneek.....

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 17:07

Dameedna that is not the case. It IS illegal. The 12a rating is the only one that can be considered a guideline.

The Licensing Act 2003 – England and Wales
Cinemas (Northern Ireland) (Order 1991) –
Northern Ireland
Cinemas Act 1985 – Scotland
Cinemas require a licence from the local authority
in which they operate. The licence must include a
condition requiring the admission of children (anyone
under 18) to any film to be restricted in accordance
with our recommendations or those of the licensing
authority. One of the key reasons for the licensing
requirement is the protection of children, including
from potentially harmful content in films.

RaspberryWhip24 · 05/08/2014 17:08

I have seen the Inbetweeners for the first time recently.

If it isn't going to be anything a 13 year old hasn't heard before I am appalled. Yes it is very very funny but it is soooo rude. I would hate my 13 year old to watch it. I think it is the rudest thing I have ever seen. All that stuff about fingering etc.

there's also a difference between 13 year olds mucking about at school and actually hearing this sort of language in a film. Repeatedly. It is presumably exagerated for effect and a 13 year old probably won't get that.

Haven't seen the film by the way, just one and half series.

SistersOfPercy · 05/08/2014 17:17

YABU.
Every child matures at different rates. One 13 year old might be exceptionally mature whilst another might not. I've always seen ratings as a guide personally. A teenager doesn't suddenly mature in a Sims like spin and a puff of smoke on their 15th birthday and suddenly become able to deal with the subject matter of a 15 rated movie.

Onesleeptillwembley · 05/08/2014 17:17

What a lovely mum your friend sounds. A shared fun experience with a bit of excitement thrown in. Her son is a lucky chap.

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