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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed in my otherwise wonderful friend

76 replies

Thefishewife · 05/08/2014 16:34

My friend is going to Sneek her 13 year old into see inbetweeners this week at the cinema and I just feel she's really let herself down she a fab parent in every other way but on this issues she seems unable to get it

She pretty much watch whatever and I just feel this can be very damaging for children the I do however feel their is a real selfish element on her part I did point out their are many really good films out for teen boys at the moment and suggest we take the boys to see Hercules instead she said that's boaring and she didn't want to see it my explanation that when taking children to see a film weather the adults enjoy it are a mute point really but she said she won't waist money on a film she won't get anything out of
AIBU

OP posts:
BlackWings · 05/08/2014 18:11

How exactly is she planning on sneaking him in? The cinemas near me are very strict re ID.

queenofthemountain · 05/08/2014 18:11

t's not illegal for the child to watch it, it's illegal for the cinema to show it to an under 15s.If they let them in then it's their fault.

Stickerrocks · 05/08/2014 18:13

We had this discussion with our 12 year old earlier, who said that one of her school chums was going to see it. She did kill herself laughing at Friday Night Dinner last night and wondered why we thought that was acceptable but the Inbetweeners wasn't.

Age limits are there for a good reason and I wouldn't actively let my child go to see it. We'll get it on DVD when it comes out ourselves, because the first film was very funny, but I honestly think that some kids (and that's what 12/13 year olds are) f try to sneak in for the thrill of doing something naughty rather than because they will actually get that much out of the film.

MaryWestmacott · 05/08/2014 18:15

erm, if you have a DS a similar age, could you not suggest rather than her waste her money on anything, you send the 2 boys in together to see a 12A film and you two go for a coffee nearby, saving the price of 2 tickets to the cinema...

NobodyLivesHere · 05/08/2014 18:24

when i was 13 i was regularly out buying me and my mates packets of fags, bottles of cider and scoring us weed from my stepdad. and my mother was well aware. thats a crap parent, not letting a child see a film in the pictures that is a couple of years above his age because some film board arbitrarily decided it was so.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 05/08/2014 18:25

I'm not scarred for life by The Omen.

Aren't you? I am. That was some scary shit. Although I'd be equally scared if I'd watched at 30 rather than 14.

The Inbetweeners is awesome. Seeing the new film Friday and can't wait!!

Squee!!

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/08/2014 18:30

My DF and me used to watch a 15 one week and buy kids tickets the next. Our local rural cinema was just happy to have customers.

Just as our local pubs served us from 14.

Morally, I think it's a bit mean on the staff taking a 13y, it's hard to question a child with it's mum if your only young yourself.

A gaggle of 14/15y is different, all cinema managers must know they break the rules and since they don't have any ID at that age there's bugger all he can do about it.

shareacokethissummer · 05/08/2014 18:35

My parents Sneeked me in to see trainspotting when I was 13 - don't know what the hell they were thinking!

pukkabo · 05/08/2014 18:36

Passports? To those saying anyone under 16 doesn't have ID.

I sneaked into a 12 movie when I was 10. Was sleeping over at a friends house and she was cared for by a lax au pair that just let us go wandering. Thankfully we were responsible and didn't get run over on the way there. It wasn't a terribly grown up movie though so no scars.

Went to see plenty of 15 movies at 13/14 though, even saw a couple of 18s. Was always about three years older in my head so it wasn't a big deal and still really isn't. Individual children, individual minds. Yabu for thinking they all grow at the same rates.

I wouldn't want to watch the inbetweeners with my Mum though, even now... Very dirty.

rivierliedje · 05/08/2014 18:40

Film certificates are so random, i've always thought (look any film up on IMDB and see the enormous age range they're deemed suitable for in different countries).
But then they don't really do them here. There are only two ratings: Children allowed and Children not allowed. Very very few films are children not allowed, so few that I didn't even know the rating existed until recently.
I had no idea the age restrictions were legally binding.
This reminds me of the time, aged 13, I watched The Silence of the lambs. At school. The teachers put it on on a schooltrip. :D

atos35 · 05/08/2014 18:52

Well I wouldn't be letting my 13 year old watch it, totally inappropriate sorry. To the people who have let their teenagers watch it, have you actually seen it?! And you're happy with that?

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 18:57

A gaggle of 14/15y is different, all cinema managers must know they break the rules and since they don't have any ID at that age there's bugger all he can do about it.

Cinema managers can get in the shit too for letting underage people in - any decent one would turn them away for the sake of his own job.

DogCalledRudis · 05/08/2014 18:59

I read an article about how film/game ratings are made, and sorry, you have to be daft to take them seriously.
E.g. Animal cruelty is fine, it's 3+. But if its about whacking monsters which look a bit like humans, then its 16+

VeraGrant · 05/08/2014 19:07

All other things aside, no way on earth would I sit next to my 13 year old while he chortled away at jokes about fingering.

It's one thing if they get in with mates but to go and watch it with a parent??!!! Hell no

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/08/2014 19:35

But how would he know?

No way am I letting my scatty teens have their own passports to leave in Costa Coffee.

Not all teens have passports, they are sodding expensive and no one is going to get/renew one just to use as ID.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/08/2014 19:37

DD2 (and DH)?didn't have a valid passport for months because DH didn't finish filling in the forms and we had nothing booked.

MyFairyKing · 05/08/2014 20:01

YABVU for being 'disappointed' in your friend. Are you her mother??!

However, YANBU to think that this particular film is wholly inappropriate. I've seen some 15 films that are fine for younger children but the Inbetweeners is not appropriate IMO.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 20:21

He wouldn't know but if he doubted that they were old enough, and it's usually fairly obvious that they are young teens, he should ask them for ID. We used to ID anyone that looked around the right age, just to be sure. If they don't have any they wouldn't be able to see the film, so if they are old enough and can't produce their passport they will miss out.

Also you pay adult rates in most cinemas at 15 so you wouldn't be able to get a child rate ticket.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 20:25

Some of the ratings are crap but cinema staff have to abide by them, even if it means getting a mouthful from a parent. It's difficult for staff members who might only be 18 or 19 themselves.

Like I said upthread I saw someone sacked for letting an underage lad into the film, they had tried to ID him but the father pushed it and the member of staff let him in as he didn't feel he could argue with him.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 20:26

Pressed send too soon!

And there are some films which they should hopefully be extra vigilant with as they attract young teenagers - this is one of those films!

PistolWhipped · 05/08/2014 20:28

I wouldn't let my child watch it, either. But then again I think 'cool' parents who use sexual profanities in front of their teens are arseholes, too

MrsBoldon · 05/08/2014 20:41

Ah, this is reminding me of the time I tried to get into a 15 rated film when I was 13.

Apparently my cunning depiction of a 15 year old being red lipstick, massive dangly earrings and an 'I am 15' badge didn't seem convincing.

In my defence, the 'I am 15' badge was part of a plan to say it was my birthday that day and I wasn't just being a complete idiot!.

lanbro · 05/08/2014 20:47

My parents snuck me in to see The Bodyguard at almost 13. My sister was snuck in to see The Last of the Mohicans at 10. I snuck myself in to see Trainspotting at 15. Shock horror, we've survived! My parents were pretty strict on certain things but we always watched films underage with no adverse effects!

abigamarone · 05/08/2014 20:53

Mrs Bolden - we have to do a quarterly test at work about age restrictions and proof of age, a birthday badge with 'Sweet 16' is sometimes specifically mentioned as not being proof!

flanjabelle · 05/08/2014 20:57

Yabu, it's her choice.

My dm let me watch films that were rated as being too old for me and I turned out ok!