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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be disappointed in my otherwise wonderful friend

76 replies

Thefishewife · 05/08/2014 16:34

My friend is going to Sneek her 13 year old into see inbetweeners this week at the cinema and I just feel she's really let herself down she a fab parent in every other way but on this issues she seems unable to get it

She pretty much watch whatever and I just feel this can be very damaging for children the I do however feel their is a real selfish element on her part I did point out their are many really good films out for teen boys at the moment and suggest we take the boys to see Hercules instead she said that's boaring and she didn't want to see it my explanation that when taking children to see a film weather the adults enjoy it are a mute point really but she said she won't waist money on a film she won't get anything out of
AIBU

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 05/08/2014 17:22

The first Inbetweeners film isn't as rude as the series, IMO.

I'm pretty sure, based on DS1's internet searches for words he doesn't understand, 13yo's are exposed to this exact kind of language on the school bus. And if older secondary boys are anything like they were in the '80s when I was at school things will still be exaggerated for effect.

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 17:24

Sistersofpercy if you want to treat it as a guideline then at least wait til the dvd comes out and do it that way rather than making the cinema responsible for it.

Groups of teenagers trying to get in to films they are not old enough for is one thing, but as parents, surely the fact it is illegal should be the deciding factor, not whether you agree with it or not!

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/08/2014 17:25

Yabu

But at 13 I was taking myself off to see 15 cert films with friends so

flipflopsandcottonsocks · 05/08/2014 17:28

YABU- And possibly shouldn't let your DC go to any sleepovers! I remember watching 18 rated horror films at my friends 12th Birthday sleepover...lots of them!

gobbynorthernbird · 05/08/2014 17:35

At 13 I'd fully expect the child to be capable of finding the film on the internet and watching it at home.

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 17:40

I am genuinely surprised that there are so many people who think its fine to do this.

I say that as someone who, as a teenager, did my best to get in to plenty of higher rated films, but I would never have expected my mum to be ok with it (surely thats half the fun!)

It doesn't matter whether you think the film is suitable for your particular child, or whether you think the ratings system is stupid, or part of the nanny state.... it doesn't change the fact that it is illegal for a child to watch a certificated film that they are not old enough for, whether or not they are with an adult/parent.

FreckledLeopard · 05/08/2014 17:44

DD introduced me to the series of the Inbetweeners when she was 12. I thought it was brilliantly funny.

I have no qualms about DD watching films that have age restrictions - I will decide what's appropriate, not the censors.

YABU.

Floop · 05/08/2014 17:47

It absolutely is illegal.

In my youth I worked in a cinema. Had I sold a ticket to an underage person I would have lost my job. There would have been a massive fine too, up to £10,000 for the cinema.

If anything, don't do that to the poor teenager working for minimum wage behind the box office desk.

Floop · 05/08/2014 17:48

^Thats not to say a 12 year old shouldn't watch the Inbetweeners.

It's just to say doing it at a cinema in the process of risking someone's job isn't the way to go about it.

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 17:51

Quite Floop

Wait for the dvd or sky box office etc and see it then.

FrankSaysNo · 05/08/2014 17:52

I'm not seeing the issue - the mother knows her child best.

At 14 we could walk into 18 films. I'm not scarred for life by The Omen.

I am however traumatised by my mother wanting to see Grease and using ME as an excuse to see it, so I couldn't go with my friends. street cred fucked

With my 18yo I foolishly went to see Wolf of Wall Street. I died a thousand deaths. I did. Repeatedly. I died.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 17:53

Floop That's exactly what I was trying to say (but not as well as you!)

Buy the DVD if you want to let your children watch something that they are legally too young for. It may be more intimidating to ID people who come in with parents so that young person (and it is usually young people on NMW) could end up out on their arse.

OP- YANBU

merrydebs · 05/08/2014 17:55

Sounding very judgemental OP. No big deal here. Hope they enjoy it!

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 17:55

A mother may know her child best, but the certificate on a film is a legal thing.

By all means watch it at home but don't do it at the cinema, unless you are happy to risk some person's job.

wheretoyougonow · 05/08/2014 17:56

YANBU I an fed up with people thinking the law/rules don't apply to them.

LynetteScavo · 05/08/2014 17:57

Just to clarify, while I wouldn't be totally horrified at my 13yo watching a 15c film, I certainly wouldn't take them to the cinema or rent it for them.

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 17:58

And on the point of it being actually illegal, why, as a parent, would you want to give your child the idea that sometimes its ok to do things that are against the law? Its not a choice, whether you agree with it or not.

MollySolverson · 05/08/2014 18:01

How would a child prove their age? If they were ID'd surely they wouldn't have ID unless 17 or over so could get a provisional licence? Sorry if I've missed something, I didn't grow up in the UK.

op, yabu, what makes you think you or the film censor board people know a child better than her mother does? Mind your own

Freckletoes · 05/08/2014 18:04

The Inbetweeners is a bit more than a "bit" of swearing and innuendos. It is very crude. (Also very funny!) but where do you draw the line? OK for a 13 yr old so what about a 12 year old with a late birthday? People will stretch limits like this and that is why the age limits are there and should be adhered to. I was mightily pissed off when I discovered my 10 yr old had been allowed to watch Bridgett Jones by a friend's mum. She swore it was a 12A but since I had watched it numerous times I knew it was a 15 and no way suitable for my 10 yr old daughter. Allowing young kids to watch films that are rated far above their ages, play console games rated above them etc will be a huge factor in the increase in child sex and pregnancies, child violence etc as they watch/play all this stuff and think it is the norm. So I understand where you are coming from OP and am surprised more people aren't behind you!

DogCalledRudis · 05/08/2014 18:06

YABVU

TheLovelyBoots · 05/08/2014 18:07

Hang on. You're upset because your friend is taking a 13 year old to a 15 year old film?

Tory79 · 05/08/2014 18:08

Molly that is an irrelevant point.

The BBFC do not state that the age restriction is dependent on whether or not the parents think their child is mature enough to watch it. 15 and over is just that.

Eastpoint · 05/08/2014 18:08

They take a copy of their passport Molly.

I wouldn't take my DCs into films for which they are underage, I don't want to encourage them to break the law. I agree that there are plenty of films appropriate for 13 year olds at the cinema, if she wants to watch something older with him she can at home. Or if he's so mature she could just go & see the film with a friend & let him do something with his own friends.

Anarchy99 · 05/08/2014 18:10

Molly It is possible to get a card to prove their age (or it used to be when I worked at a cinema). If they have no ID and look younger than 15, they should be turned away.

It isn't about what you are happy to let your children watch.

I have had to deal with my fair share of lairy parents when I dared to question their child's age. I was old enough to still turn them away but it can be intimidating for a teenager to do that, even though they are risking their job.

BomChickaMeowMeow · 05/08/2014 18:11

The Inbetweeners is exactly the sort of thing I'd have been into as a 13 year old. I'd have died a thousand deaths before watching a sex comedy with my parents though. Getting into 15 films from the age of 13 is a rite of passage. My mum wouldn't have gone with me but she would have dropped me and best friend off at the cinema.

Probably these days though they ID anyone who appears under 20.

And on the point of it being actually illegal, why, as a parent, would you want to give your child the idea that sometimes its ok to do things that are against the law? Its not a choice, whether you agree with it or not.

Homosexuality was illegal until the 1960s, marital rape was legal until the 1990s. I'm a lawyer and am teaching DDs that sometimes the law is an ass.

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