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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not really want my DSes to see their Aunties' boobs!

145 replies

Lemonheart · 02/08/2014 17:16

Have NC because this is quite specific!

Next year, my DM celebrates a big birthday. She is planning a party for all the family in a hall with a disco, a live band ... and burlesque.

The burlesque troupe is run by DSis2, and also includes DSis1 and our cousin. They are very good at what they do, singing, dancing, pole dancing etc, but there is an obvious sexual undertone to all of this, and they do strip down to being topless apart from masking tape on their nipples. I should add that I have no problem with this and am very proud of them and don't think I am particularly prudish!

But DM intends for the burlesque to go on in between the live band's sets, meaning it won't just be late night entertainment, it will be on throughout her party, including when the kids are there. I have 3 DSes, and the youngest two are 3 and 1, so I doubt it will have much impact on them, but the eldest will be coming up to 7 and I just don't know what he will make of it. I might sound like I'm pearly clutching now, but I just don't think it's appropriate entertainment for a family party.

Seeing my sisters' boobs will be a bit weird for DH (he made a yik face when I told him!), and there will be aunts, uncles and grandparents there, plus DSis's own DS. It's a show that is designed to titillate, how is that appropriate when the guests are all family?

I understand that my DM is proud of my DSisters and I haven't said anything yet. I just want to know if I am being ridiculous and small minded first. WIBU to ask DM to schedule the burlesque show for the end of the evening so I can take my DSes home to bed first?

I suspect it will cause a bit of a row if I say anything, and I am sure I will be accused of being jealous and prudish.

Am I?

OP posts:

PIVOT · 02/08/2014 18:47

A member of my extended family has gotten into this - fair dos except she posts pictures of her and her mates in grotty pubs in the village she lives in on Facebook wearing basques and stockings. You know for her teenage kids and their mates that she's friends with to see. I am open minded and it takes a lot to make me twitchy but this really does bring out my judgey pants. Her youngest son was mortified when they performed at a village fete.

Dita von Teese in a club on Ibiza is fine; auntie Shirley on the village common, no thanks.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/08/2014 18:55

I like burlesque, it's fun adult entertainment; it's not suitable for a family party.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/08/2014 19:09

Namechangearoonie123 Sat 02-Aug-14 17:51:12
The intention of burlesque is to titillate
Never mind kids, who wants to make their own grandad get a woody hmm
Just boak

========

Absolutely this - with knobs on.

Alconleigh · 02/08/2014 19:14

Hells teeth. Just NO. Do they generally struggle with social appropriateness? Because this is proper odd.

TheFairyCaravan · 02/08/2014 19:16

DS2(17) is sat next to me so I read him the OP.

He went "that's not a bit weird, that's a lot weird!"

katese11 · 02/08/2014 19:22

I thought it was going to be a bfeeding thread too... Was all ready with the "breasts aren't sexual" thing but. .. When they're being wiggled about to sexy music, yes they're sexual. What an odd idea for a family party!

HilariousInHindsight · 02/08/2014 19:29

I was all prepared to call you unreasonable thinking your sister had her breasts out when breastfeeding and you were getting into a tizz about it.

But no you're not being unreasonable - that's beyond strange!

ivykaty44 · 02/08/2014 19:34

actually just when you thought your own family was quite odd - this thread makes mine look so very normal

catgirl1976 · 02/08/2014 19:35

Yikes

I'd probably enjoy a well done Burlesque show with DH or with friends and I love Dita Von Teese

But in front of an audience consisting of largely family?

Cringey and wrong

SqueakySqueak · 02/08/2014 19:42

I can't say I'd be comfortable seeing any family member stripping suggestively in front of me.

This isn't the same thing as pro-boob or nothing wrong with nudity.

There's an obvious sexual overtone, and that puts it in a different category. The same way seeing a porn star and a nude model are two completely different things.

Yes, it's art. Children can and should be exposed to all sort of art, including art with nudity like Michelangelo. But this particular instance is art for adults because of how it's presented.

MissBattleaxe · 02/08/2014 19:46

One should try everything once except incest and Morris dancing.

A family party where family members get the nipple tape out and do a striptease kind of combines both and should not be attempted.

Mammuzza · 02/08/2014 19:48

But why would your sister and cousin want to perform an adult, semi nude, sexualised number in front of several generations of their own family ?

What on earth is their motivation ?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 02/08/2014 19:51

Please tell me it's a wind up.

Bluestocking · 02/08/2014 19:53

Your mother could do the big closing number and jump out of her own birthday cake clad in nothing but whipped cream and a bright smile.

CycleChic · 02/08/2014 19:58

Er, talk to your sister before your mother. .. chances are that it'll be a family friendly dance number, given that it's in front of her own son as well!

... or does she have form for being inappropriate around children?

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 02/08/2014 20:10

Oh OP I'm afraid this has made me laugh out loud, sorry ... what a pickle. Well, pickle as in how to get out of it without offending your sisters. YYY to asking them to do it later?

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/08/2014 20:16

Burlesque isn't a sexual undertone; it is blatantly sexual - hence being over 18s only.

I'd be busy to be honest. No way would I want to witness this family party.

Well, maybe someone else's - but my auntie in pasties. No no no no no...

MaryWestmacott · 02/08/2014 20:21

serious question, how do you do a 'family friendly burlesque' routine?

Castlemilk · 02/08/2014 20:28

Hell's teeth indeed.

Yes I would look into childcare. And then come back and tell us all about it

CherryEarrings · 02/08/2014 20:38

Putting on a sex show for male rellies is a bit incestuous. Grim.

mewkins · 02/08/2014 20:46

Not quite the same but a friend of mine arranged for some Brazillian dancers to perform just before the speeches at her wedding. It went down like a ton of bricks with the family, especially the older members (and they were wearing more clothes and feathers than Burlesque dancers!)

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 02/08/2014 21:09

Masking tape?! Very alluring

I imagined some gaffer tape. YANBU OP.

PurplePidjin · 02/08/2014 21:19

Moulin Rouge is a 12. Burlesque (film from 2010) is a 12A

Quite apart from the fact that, while I adore my wonderful SIL, I really wouldn't want to see her semi-naked and strutting around seductively

Alconleigh · 02/08/2014 21:20

We are having a family party for my mother's 70th in September. Perhaps I should contact all the female rellies and suggest we all get our norks out in a dance routine....could liven it right up.

phantomnamechanger · 02/08/2014 21:38

OMG what a hideous idea for a family party! No way is it appropriate!
I can't even watch sex scenes in a romcom with the parents/ILs in the room! Never mind real life family members stripping off. Surely the older members will be horrified? and are there any teen girls/boys - what message is this sending them?

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