To not really want my DSes to see their Aunties' boobs!

[Lemonheart]

Have NC because this is quite specific!

Next year, my DM celebrates a big birthday. She is planning a party for all the family in a hall with a disco, a live band ... and burlesque.

The burlesque troupe is run by DSis2, and also includes DSis1 and our cousin. They are very good at what they do, singing, dancing, pole dancing etc, but there is an obvious sexual undertone to all of this, and they do strip down to being topless apart from masking tape on their nipples. I should add that I have no problem with this and am very proud of them and don't think I am particularly prudish!

But DM intends for the burlesque to go on in between the live band's sets, meaning it won't just be late night entertainment, it will be on throughout her party, including when the kids are there. I have 3 DSes, and the youngest two are 3 and 1, so I doubt it will have much impact on them, but the eldest will be coming up to 7 and I just don't know what he will make of it. I might sound like I'm pearly clutching now, but I just don't think it's appropriate entertainment for a family party.

Seeing my sisters' boobs will be a bit weird for DH (he made a yik face when I told him!), and there will be aunts, uncles and grandparents there, plus DSis's own DS. It's a show that is designed to titillate, how is that appropriate when the guests are all family?

I understand that my DM is proud of my DSisters and I haven't said anything yet. I just want to know if I am being ridiculous and small minded first. WIBU to ask DM to schedule the burlesque show for the end of the evening so I can take my DSes home to bed first?

I suspect it will cause a bit of a row if I say anything, and I am sure I will be accused of being jealous and prudish.

Am I?

Any form of stripping is inappropriate for family get together

Coffee I would imagine it's the tone of it with dancing and strip tease rather than just boobs. I wouldn't mind my kids seeing topless women just as a normal thing (like on holiday or feeding), I wouldn't want them to see a Burlesque show though.

Gobbin. I was just trying to point out that watching a Burlesque act feels different to seeing a stripper. It just isn't the same but I totally accept it's not to everyone's taste.

The intention of burlesque is to titillate

Never mind kids, who wants to make their own grandad get a woody

Just boak

It's a hoot but very ADULT. I can't imagine your 7yo would even enjoy most of it. Mine would be scrabbling under tables looking for dropped coins.

burlesque is posh striptease. Nothing wrong with either, but it is adult entertainment for an adult audience.

the 7 year old will be horrified/embarrassed and screaming 'eeeewwwww'.

the 7 year old will be horrified/embarrassed and screaming 'eeeewwwww'

And that might be the best outcome in my opinion, I can imagine worse.

I can't imagine going to a family party and half the guests getting their boobs out - but each to their own.

If you don't want your ds to see aunties boobs - or he doesn't want to see them, then get him a mask for his eyes? or tell him you are happy to wander outside for that part of the family party.

Um, no YANBU or particularly prudish. I don't think it's at all appropriate for small children to watch! I'm not convinced it's that appropriate for elderly lady rellies to watch either but that depends on their personalities - some woudl think it great, others would be very prissy about it.

Great that your Mum is so proud of them but really, there's a time and a place, and maybe she could confine their section of the entertainment to the evening when all the children are in bed.

Yeah, Coffee, that's what the struggle is in my head. I am and have been perfectly fine for my DSes to see their aunties' boobs in everyday settings, like breastfeeding. I would also be fine with topless sunbathing or "just got out of the shower" scenarios. One of my DSisters and my cousin are plus-sized too, so I am not worried about unhealthy body images or anything like that.

I wouldn't be happy with them seeing them in a sexual context though. That crosses a personal line, and I think that a provocative striptease, no matter how artily done (and it is) is just not something for family and kids.

DM and my cousin's mum and dad have obviously seen the show before, but my grandparents (who are in their 80s) and DM's brother (who also has a DS of 12) have not.

Thinking back, I can remember a 21st family party when I was a child (for someone on my dad's side) and someone had hired him a stripper. She stripped off totally and performed several very suggestive acts on the birthday boy. I remember DM being quite annoyed that they had done this when they had invited kids. I can't say it bothered me at the time though, I thought it was quite funny!

also OP, you know if you do go, you'll be the talk of the staff room for years to come after a teacher asks your DS what he did at the weekend. Can you imagine just how far from "stylish, empowered woman" the show will sound when a 7 year old explains it to his friends - and when they then tell their mums?

Would love to see what Great Aunt Ethel makes of it

YANBU - how inappropriate!

You or your DM may wish to check the hall has a public entertainment license which covers that sort of show. Sexual entertainment isn't covered under most village hall type licenses, as far as I'm aware.

sooo, you've got 80 year old grandparents going to be surprised by a show of their DGD's norks?!?!!? Do either of them have weak hearts?

It is a bit for a party which children will be at.

I assume you will be asking DH to take the DC's off somewhere when the show is on?

I have seen a number of burlesque shows and non were appropriate for kids or elderly family members

No! Just No!

Makes you realise how we are all very different my dm would be leaping up with her coat to cover up my dsis unnecessarily as the rest of the family would have fainted

When DD1 was 3 I went to watch her dancing show and at the end a group.of mums got up and did burlesque in front of a room full of kids and their parents/grandparents.

It was cringeworthy, painfully so.

add in relatives to that mix and

Forget the kids who will probably ignore the whole thing, shaking your bits and your own family members, dads grandads husbands uncles and you are into very very odd territory!

Dancing burlesque, topless, in front of my dad?

I'd rather stick a fork in my leg. YANBU. Weird. So so so very weird.

Dear God
On what planet was this considered to be a good idea????????

I have no problem with burlesque but it's wierd at a family party. I thought this was going to be about breast feeding and I was all ready to tell you to get a grip

What strikes me about this is not whether you agree with burlesque or not but how utterly tasteless it is.

On what planet is it ok to strip tease for rellies?

How far have we come from white gloves and hats.

It's like people have no idea how to behave anymore.

This is hilariously bonkers.
I can't even imagine this happening at one of my family parties. Am trying very hard not to imagine it in fact.
Why on earth do they think this is a good idea? Are they usually self centred exhibitionists?!

I must be a prude, but I find it fairly uncomfortable watching a sex scene on tv with my parents or inlaws. I can't think of anything worse than watching a burlesque show with them... Oh wait yes I can, a burlesque show with family members performing!!

Won't it ruin the party for your Dsis and co if instead of enjoying the bands etc they are constantly up and down getting undressed and dressed? I think you could make a case that for them to enjoy the party too perhaps their act could be saved for the end when you and everyone else have gone home

I think it's odd.

I'd be squirming in this situation.

Speak to your sisters! My bet is that they will seriously be changing their routine to make it much much more family friendly.

Before you get anxious about it, talk talk talk.