Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious with PIL for drunkenly hurting one of our DC again?

133 replies

TractorTam · 01/08/2014 22:52

Today was BILs wedding. I'm currently sitting in the hotel room with my toddler, DD and DSD trying desperately to keep DSD awake as she had a big bump to the head tonight thanks to MIL. MIL was standing in front of a concrete post and kept encouraging DSD to run into her arms, then one of the times she just moved out of the way at the last second and DSD ran into the post at full speed, banging her head, then her mouth on a nearby table on the way down. She's been too upset to let me look at her mouth properly but I think she may have dislodged one of her adult teeth Sad After it happened, MIL told her 'this is what happens when you get over-excited' Confused

At Christmas there was a family gathering and FIL was playing with DD, throwing her up a little and catching her. Then he missed, she banged her eye on a radiator and ended up with a black eye. MIL has also dropped my toddler but luckily I was able to grab her before she hit the floor.

I might be able to excuse these as accidents were it not for the fact that a) they never apologise or accept blame b) they turn it around to be the DCs fault but most importantly c) they have had copious amounts of alcohol before these 'accidents' happen.

Poor DSD has been distraught about her tooth potentially coming out as it's a front adult one and DH joined in with MILs blaming of her and said she should know not to play with people who have been drinking Hmm I said it was MILs responsibility to not play such games if shes been drinking and in no way DSDs fault. No doubt they've all forgotten about it downstairs while DSD is still sobbing into my tummy as we watch Frozen.

PIL are supposed to be having the DCs in a few months as I'm pregnant but knowing they'll probably have a drink to celebrate the birth (and drink most days anyway) I'm feeling extremely reluctant to leave them with them. AIBU to be furious with them?

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 02/08/2014 16:34

MIL did console DSD chased, but it was cuddles along with 'you were getting too excited', 'you get clumsy when you're tired' etc I hope you told MIL it was Not DSD fault but hers as yet again she was drunk while playing games and not looking after her DSD properly.

Hope your dsd is ok today.

SqueakySqueak · 02/08/2014 16:58

Ick. Not to scare you, I banged my tooth as a toddler (let that be a lesson to allowing your toddler to dance in the tub) and I've had trouble with that tooth my entire life. The adult teeth are right above the child teeth in the skull, so impact can hurt them too.

You PIL's are idiots.

But in any case, the rule for me would always be sober while watching my child. If they don't think they can do that, they can't be allowed unsupervised with your children.

Really, you don't want your kids thinking it's their fault when their grandparents hurt them when it's not. They shouldn't be blamed for someone else's mistakes, that could have long term psychological effects.

TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 02/08/2014 17:12

Thank God for MummaB! Some sense on this thread finally! OP, good on you for handling the situation so well. I can't believe what a kicking you were getting on this thread (although, judging by the time of some of their posts, I'm guessing alcohol was involved on this thread too! Wink ). Now go wake your dopy DH up and get him to find his balls and help you out.

43percentburnt · 02/08/2014 19:51

I'm glad your dsd's tooth is okay. I really hope you sort something that you are happy with for your labour. Good luck with the birth.

microcosmia · 03/08/2014 13:21

Hope your DSD will be OK. The child may find it hard to trust GP's again, and rightly so, and I wouldn't trust them either. The fact that they blamed her is confusing her. She should have been able to trust her GM not to let her get hurt. There's a pattern here with both GP's so they are not reliable from a childcare perspective.

DSD's mum must be told and told the truth not the GP's version. If she's angry, and expect that she will be, I would stand back and let her have it out with your DH and PIL's. Your instinct is right they aren't trustworthy or safe around kids no matter how much horseplay they engage in it doesn't make them model GP's.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 03/08/2014 14:12

I agree that youve got sucked into this, from this thread it's clear you don't feel you have a voice or any right to an opinion beyond 'pretend it's fine that pil drink then blame the dc for getting into danger'.

That's not ok. And I wonder why you feel you don't have a voice? What would happen if you do put your foot down? And is that acceptable?

I suspect there are some very fucked up family dynamics at work here

microcosmia · 03/08/2014 14:16

OP I mentioned this thread to my DH and he said you should have the GP's over tour your house, invite them to sit down, pull the chairs back, and let them drop to the floor. Then tell them it's their fault they should know better than to trust you. I bet they'd love that.

Actually don't as it's probably considered assault but they wouldn't mind doing it to your kids I imagine.

Dickiewiddler · 03/08/2014 17:01

"I agree that youve got sucked into this, from this thread it's clear you don't feel you have a voice or any right to an opinion beyond 'pretend it's fine that pil drink then blame the dc for getting into danger'.

That's not ok. And I wonder why you feel you don't have a voice? What would happen if you do put your foot down? And is that acceptable? "

Miscellaneousassortment I agree totally.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page