Husband was invited out for drinks with old workmate. Was going to be a couple of drinks in the local pub and then bring back takeaways for us, as i am at home with our two children.
Get a call at the time he was due back saying he wanted to stay longer and that he would come home and wanted me to drop him back so he could continue drinking. He turned up and spouted a whole lot of justification about meeting lots of new and interesting people who are friends of the workmate who would be useful for his work.
I took him down and said that i was sorry to not have him at home, but hoped he had fun. He said he would have lots of fun without me and not to wait up.
I am angry at this comment as it was said in a horrible way after he had got what he wanted, which was a lift from me so that he can continue his evening without me.
By way of background, we very rarely go out ourselves without the children. The only person he will allow to babysit is his mother. She dislikes babysitting them and so we only ask on very rare occasions, maybe once a year.
I am jealous of him going out, which was arranged without even talking to me first, as he just assumes i will look after the children. I have tried doing things in the evening myself, and he always has a work emergency which means that he cannot look after the children.
He is on holidays at the moment and i had hoped we would spend some time together but all he wants to do is work around the house and on his vehicle restoration. This is rare time for us to spend together without kids and i feel that he just doesn't want to spend the time with me. I have asked him to go for a walk or to the movies and he refuses, saying that he has too much to do. He then blames me and says that i should have done these jobs, if he wants me to spend time with him. These are things like tree trimming and waterblasting, some of which i can do but not all and are not vital. I have offered to do some if we look at the list together, but i expect he will think up more jobs that need to be done.
I feel as though he doesn't really want to spend time with me or our children and is using these household jobs an an excuse. These jobs are things that are nice to have done, but i think us spending time together is important too.
For example, last weekend we did nothing enjoyable as a family, as we spent the whole weekend gardening. After doing jobs round the house he then goes to sleep for 3-4 hours as he is so tired, so there is no time left to do something enjoyable together once he has had a rest. I spend that time while he is asleep doing housework and trying to keep the kids quiet and not wake him up, as he will yell and scream at them.
I had hoped we might do something as a family tomorrow, but after staying out so late with people he has only just met he will be too hungover/ tired to do anything. Then he will have even more jobs to do as he will have lost a day.
Am i unreasonable to be totally angry and feel like he is avoiding spending any meaningful time with me or the children?
I am a very new poster, so please be gentle.