Friend walked out of restaurant without paying

[GermanHouseCat]

NC for this. Long time MNetter, been on the site for years. Promise!

I went out last night with a friend and his brother and girlfriend. The friend lives abroad and is back for a few days so it was a nice chance to see him.

They had already eaten when I arrived (an independent gastro bar with table service) and then together we had a round of drinks before planning to move on to another bar.

We asked for the bill, which included the total of the food/drinks they had before I arrived and then the one round of drinks we had together.

When it arrived, friend said "let's just walk out, shall we?" Before I could even fathom what he meant, his DB and GF had agreed and they stood up and walked out.

I was completely and had to make a split second decision about what to do. The bill was large and I couldn't afford to pay it all - nor felt morally at the time that I should - I put the money on the table for my drink and left feeling mortified.

I am usually very assertive but I was just so shocked I didn't know how to handle it. I'm ashamed to admit it but I didn't call them up on it (they were all so cool about doing it) so en route to the next bar I feigned illness and came home.

It can't be a money thing, DF and his GF both have very good jobs, the brother is working.

AIBU to be absolutely mortified at being part of this? I feel that they have implicated me in this and any repercussions. Should I have paid the lot? Should I call the bar and give them DF's details?

If he finds that 'just a laugh', I dread to think what the rest of his moral compass is like. He must be always on the make. How old is he? because he's acting like a stupid teenager.

German you can hold your head up high, you have stuck to your guns despite it being an uncomfortable ride.

Trouble is Dylan, I think he would. There would be no boundaries if he can do a runner from a restaurant like that.

"Why are you upset at people knowing what you did? I thought it was "no biggie" and "just a laugh" and "pretty common." Aren't you finding it funny that people now know you are a thief then?"

are you sure they didnt pay when they ordered?
i went to a pub where you have to do this, you eat in the garden, you either pay when you order, or you leave your card

i have walked out without paying a long time ago, it wasnt a restaurent, and they chased us, it was funny though

slartybartfast why would the manager have been frostywith the OP if the bill had been paid?

her mate seems pretty sure he didn't pay, Slarty.

what an odd post.

sorry, admit to not reading thread, it's too long, why threads always so long

I just don't think it's 'funny' to walk out without paying, whatever the circs.

If I've got a problem with the meal, I complain, and only do it if it's genuinely awful. (My DH doesn't, he'd never complain which is why he married me )

If you can't read the whole thread, it's a good idea to have the OP's posts highlighted so you can at least read them.

i do, i should make a habit of doing that thanks

mm, read the op posts now. seems like a mountain out of a mole hill.

dreary attempt at goading I think.

Are you the OP's 'friend' slarty?

I'll take that as a "yes".

Either the OP's friend or another fuckwit person who thinks it is fun to steal from a business - even funnier, I presume, if some poor minimum wage waiter or waitress ends up footing the bill.

Might as well be. It is certainly someone who thinks what the OP's friend did wasn't a big deal.

I was with a couple of friends in a curry house many years ago as a student (early 80's). One of these friends decided he was going to 'do a runner', we tried to persuade him not to, but he did.

When the bill came, we ridiculously tried to explain that we had no idea who he was and were only going to pay for our own.

The waiter looked at us in a pitying manner and said something along the lines of 'look, you guys are regular customers, if you couldn't afford the meal tonight you should have just told us, we probably would have given you it free'

I felt about 2 inches tall. (even though I hadn't done the runner)

That was to yappydappydoo btw, cross-posted with SDTG

personally i think the op is ott feigning illness to go home, if she hadnt been so concerned about being in trouble with her job perhaps she wouldnt have cared.
no doubt the Friend is on holiday in the UK and feeling invincible.

and so far all she is left with is a frosty manager

Slartybartfast - could you explain why you think it is no big deal to steal £100 from a restaurant. Why is it a 'mountain out of a molehill'?

Because, to me, this is theft. And the OP's 'friend's' attitude is pretty shitty - firstly for doing this, and secondly for saying it is 'no biggie'. Would you think it was OK if you were the waitress left to cover the bill for a party that scarpers without paying - so you end up having worked all night just to pay for their meal?

I really do not understand this sort of attitude.

Matilda goes, slarty arrives. its a positive merrygoround of pointy sticks round here at the moment.

OP - if your 'friend' thought it was really no big deal, then he wouldn't be upset that you've told mutual friends, he wouldn't mind that the restaurant owner has his details. He is saying it's no big deal to make it ok in his head, but he realises that actually it could be to a lot of people.

Slarty probably thinks it's ok in the same way a lot of people only don't steal anything because they fear being caught, not because they think it's wrong, because they don't want to be in trouble, if you can be certain of getting away with it (like the OPs friend) then it's ok to steal anything or cheat anyone. I tend to cut people like that out, because you can never be 100% certain you won't ever be in the situation where they could steal from you/cheat you in some way and they wouldn't take it. They don't care about "right and wrong" they care only about concequences.