Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend walked out of restaurant without paying

456 replies

GermanHouseCat · 31/07/2014 20:13

NC for this. Long time MNetter, been on the site for years. Promise!

I went out last night with a friend and his brother and girlfriend. The friend lives abroad and is back for a few days so it was a nice chance to see him.

They had already eaten when I arrived (an independent gastro bar with table service) and then together we had a round of drinks before planning to move on to another bar.

We asked for the bill, which included the total of the food/drinks they had before I arrived and then the one round of drinks we had together.

When it arrived, friend said "let's just walk out, shall we?" Before I could even fathom what he meant, his DB and GF had agreed and they stood up and walked out.

I was completely Shock Shock and had to make a split second decision about what to do. The bill was large and I couldn't afford to pay it all - nor felt morally at the time that I should - I put the money on the table for my drink and left feeling mortified.

I am usually very assertive but I was just so shocked I didn't know how to handle it. I'm ashamed to admit it but I didn't call them up on it (they were all so cool about doing it) so en route to the next bar I feigned illness and came home.

It can't be a money thing, DF and his GF both have very good jobs, the brother is working.

AIBU to be absolutely mortified at being part of this? I feel that they have implicated me in this and any repercussions. Should I have paid the lot? Should I call the bar and give them DF's details?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 01/08/2014 14:11

Establishment

wowfudge · 01/08/2014 14:11

I do feel MadameDefarge that you have been rather harsh towards the OP - she has explained the chain of events, why she did what she did and she has done the decent thing and given the restaurant the contact details of the thieves.

Not for one moment do I think the people who do this kind of thing (the thieves, not the OP) are anything other than utter scumbags.

Good on you OP for having principles and telling your other friends what happened.

'No biggie' - what an absolute arrogant shit. And no friend to you either, as you have realised OP.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:12

Again, give the victims a good kicking though, why not?

matildasquareded · 01/08/2014 14:12

No, hand on heart, you just told the OP over and over that she'd done the wrong thing. The wrong thing! In the most sanctimonious pompous language.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/08/2014 14:13

Well it's done now, hopefully op won't be in that situation again, if she is she will know what to do!

sillystring · 01/08/2014 14:13

And accused me of "silly scaremongering" when I related my experience.

OnlyLovers · 01/08/2014 14:15

Madame, I don't disagree with you and I appreciate that you're a business owner and you know exactly how these things impact businesses.

But I do stick by my comment that I think the manager might at least have said thank you. Even 'Well, this whole situation sucks and I'm very displeased, but at least you're contacting us now.'

matildasquareded · 01/08/2014 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:16

I have endured personal attacks here simply for stating my opinion.

Why not give the OP a good kicking for having witnessed a crime and ignored it? No takers?

That would be because we all, including me, know how hard these situations can be.

To be called pompous and condescending simply for having a viewpoint that does not accord with the majority of people here, people, incidentally who have not had their livelihood threatened and people steal from them as I have.

Poor OP. A bit wet. But came goodish in the end.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:18

feeling feisty today Matilda? troll calling so blatantly.

matildasquareded · 01/08/2014 14:18

Saying, "I would have physically restrained all four people" isn't an opinion is it? It's a hyperbolic lie which reduces an interesting discussion to a macho stand-off. I mean, really, you physically have the strength and skill to grab hold of four persons and force them to remain somewhere, whilst at the same time getting out your wallet?

I'm tired of seeing interesting discussions get derailed with that nonsense.

D0oinMeCleanin · 01/08/2014 14:19

OP did do the wrong thing, imo. In order to prevent her night being made worse.

I've worked in service since I was 15. Almost all of the places I've worked dock staff wages for tills being down or walk outs.

Imagine how bad the poor waitresses night was knowing that she's worked in order to pay for OP's friend's meal. I've been there and it's beyond shit. Or even the business owner, if he's struggling, which in this climate a lot of food places are. This meal could have been the difference between making a profit/breaking even that night.

If someone had stayed and passed on the contact details of the thieves to the manager and police at least I could have gone home hoping I'd see my money again.

Gruntfuttock · 01/08/2014 14:20

MadameDefarge, has said that she would have behaved differently in the same situation, and I believe her. She also says she understands why the OP did what she did. I don't think there's anything wrong with any of that. We're here to give our opinions and I that's what Madame Defarge has done and she's entitled to do so, not least because she has been the receiving end of such a crime.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:20

Please point out where I said I would physically restrained four people.

Have an opinion, but don't lie.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:22

Thank you grunt.

Roussette · 01/08/2014 14:23

Madame that's directed at me and I actually didn't say I would physically restrain four people. Matilda is putting her own words on to what I said and talking bollocks. I said this - I would have shouted "oh no, you're not" and grabbed them. (to my friends if they said they were doing a runner.) Slightly different but I don't want to spoil Matilda's fun in accusing those who don't have her opinion as "armchair warriors."

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:24

And Doing.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:25

Grin Roussette!

matildasquareded · 01/08/2014 14:25

So having a different opinion is judgey?

Lolololol

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:27

now you are making no sense, Matilda.

matildasquareded · 01/08/2014 14:28

Okay, Bruce Lee, you didn't say you'd restrain them, true. Maybe you meant that you would just like grab them once, and then let them go, and then I guess also shout at the same time, and that would make them pay, and then you'd also pay for the meals yourself. So the restaurant would be paid twice?

Lololol

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:30

lololol?

Really?

I think you want to cause a fight Matilda. It ain't going to happen. Everyone was quite civilised, even in their disagreements, until you popped up. Methinks you have an agenda. And not a nice one.

MadameDefarge · 01/08/2014 14:32

OP. I do thank you on behalf of all armchair warriors restaurant owners and staff for being brave enough to call up after the fact. And I am sorry the manager was a bit off with you. It would indeed have been nice. But you did the right thing, manager approval or no.

Roussette · 01/08/2014 14:34

By the way, Matilda, the only person derailing this thread is you with your accusations of armchair warriors and trolls. And you are now not making sense in the paying twice scenario. By the way, next time you want to direct a comment at me, drop the 'Bruce Lee' tag, I nearly missed it the first time and that would have been a bit of a disappointment for you.

The OP very reasonably explained what was going through her mind at the time in response to what me (and possibly others) had said, so there has been no derailing on my part or MadameD's

Trooperslane · 01/08/2014 14:34

Oh God op.

Ignore the bun fight and keep us updated.

Hope you're ok.

And drop those feckers faster than a hot potato that they didn't pay for