would you bu if you made a 12 year old clean up their own vomit?

[captainproton]

Child wakes up and vomits on his own bed and carpet in the middle of the night. Would you make them clean it up with no assistance from a parent, when said child is being repeatedly sick? The bouts of sickness have been ongoing for a couple of weeks now and seem to come on with no warning. Child is going to the doctor about it but mum has had enough of cleaning up sick, can't say I'd be too thrilled about it either.

I don't think it's unreasonable to get them to help out once they are better but if they are not well would you make them do it?

By the way I am not the child's parent. This happened to a colleague's son and she made them clean it up. There have been some jovial discussions here about whether or not she is a strict mum. I fall into the, 'would clean it up for them category'. I had an abusive mother and a weird upbringing, I would have been made to clear up my own sick after receiving a load of abuse. I don't know what is the normal thing to do. I assume there is an age when they have to do it for themselves, but is 12 too young?

I'm asking because I think I am in danger of babying my children when they are older owing to a rubbish childhood and I don't want to smother them. So when I hear of situations like this I am trying to work out what is the right thing to do.

of course its unreasonable to expect an ill person to clean up their own sick! I wouldn't even make DP do that if he was genuinely ill (although if he was pissed as a fart then maybe). if someone is ill you look after them. if its your own child who you presumably love then definitely without question.

I'm phobic about vomit...my DC had to clean it up themselves if DH wasn't around! They soon learned that the place to be ill was face down the loo!

captainproton:"I am trying to work out what is the right thing to do."

Just to add my (shocked at the question - you really don't know!) thoughts.

The right thing to do is to clean up after your child. And try to comfort him/her. If you think you can't do that, you should not have children.

Of course we'd all do the same for partner, parent, friend, as well. Your child?! The more I think of it the fewer words come. What an awful person your 'friend' is. Awful. Cruel. Poor child.

Really tired - my ds1 di

Really tired - my ds1 di

Stupid phone! Ds1

...doesn't have reflux. I didn't say that he did.

Your colleague is awful. I wouldn't make an adult clean up their own vomit if they were that unwell, never mind a child.

If it isn't a "real" physical problem her son has, it's almost certainly a psychological one. Nobody, adult or child is sick so frequently for no reason whatsoever.

Depends if the child was sick from drinking alcohol. Might be tempted with an older teenager and drunkenness.

However, this is a clearly a child with a medical problem. It could be that hte mum feels child ought to know when they are about to vomit and get themselves to the loo in time, or use a bowl. However, it sounds like this child has a serious problem that needs medical investigation- no child should vomit regularly for a fortnight.

Basically a sick 12 yo should be looked after and that includes cleaning up for them when they are sick. But why is the child not getting to the loo in time? And why so much vomiting? Child needs a doctor.

For some reason your co-worker stuck in my head and I thought about it a bit more last night. I think this is a serious lapse in maternal instinct. I hope she gets a grip soon.

Reflux or not Violet I agree that 6 is far too young to learn what you are trying to teach your DS. I'm not saying your intentions are bad but at this young age it could create bigger issues than a weak stomach.

My dd was often sick during the night but this was put down to being reflux as she has poor muscle tone. Eventually after being sick and not being able to catch her breath that resulted in her being blue lighted to hospital. Lots of tests and a difrent consultant diagnosed sleep apoena, apparently puking at night is the result of the bodies forcing your lungs and diaphragm to start reworkong. I would consider someone being sick only at night very seriously, hopefully this mother can step up and endure this poor boy is thoroughly checked over.

YEs i would clean it as i would for dp even if it was self inflicted. I had bad reaction to medication and alcohol even though i was assured it would be fine to have couple of glasses of wine and threw up everywhere. My dp cleaned up and put me to bed. I was shakey and sick for 2 days and he looked after me.
Its what you do for people you love.

It could be argued that having a weak esophageal valve is reflux. A six year old who is easily sick from laughing has a medical problem and deserves love help whether the cause is reflux poor muscle tone or pychological.

To make a six year old clear up his own sick is very cruel.

Yeah, when you have a child you know you're in for the long haul of cleaning up all manner of body fluids. Making him clean up his own puke is cruel. When I was sick my parents had a puke bucket at the side of my bed, though when you're sick and asleep you don't have time to really lean to a bucket.

I'm pretty sure DH has cleaned up my puke once or twice, but I'm usually pretty good about making it to the toilet.

The only time I wouldn't clean up someone else's puke is if they were drunk (unless it was in the carpet, I'd scrub to make sure it didn't stain/perma smell, but they'd owe me when they sobered up).

I would definitely clean my child's sick up. No question.

I remember when I was about 10 or 11, my parents were away somewhere and my sister (17-18) was looking after me when I suddenly had the urge to puke and ran to the loo. I projectile vomited all over the loo, the wall behind it andthe floor.

My sister had to go somewhere soon after that (i think i was supposed to go too but was now too sick), so she made sure my aunt picked me up and brought me to her house until my folks got back. What surprised me though was that my sister cleaned up my puke. The toilet was spotless. Not sure I would have done that for anybody in my teens, lol.

If anyone [no matter what age] is being sick, they shouldn't have to clean it up! If whoever is looking after them can't deal with it [and I know some simply can't face it] it's up to the carer to find someone who can.

Ditto to old towels/loads of newspaper on the floor, sick bowl.
Is dad sick of clearing up puke too (and if he hasn't been doing it, why not?)
I'd clear up after a loved one of any age. But would be chivvying the doctors along for a diagnosis too.

What kind of mother is she?!

My mother cleared up vomit from the front doorstep right up three flights of stairs when I was 26, because I was ill - it's what half decent adults (genuine emetophobes excerpted) do when a person is sick ffs.

*excepted

DS1 has cyclical vomiting syndrome. We've cleared up a lot of sick. Mainly DH has because I am an emetophobe, but I still did it when necessary. That child could win a prize in a puking contest, he'd fill his bed in his sleep, never once did we think to make him clear it up.

I remember having D&V as a child, I was on the loo when I got the urge to vomit, so odd so in the sink. My mum screamed in my face that I had done the wrong thing and made me clear the sink up!

TheFairyCaravan where did your mother expect you to throw up when you were on the loo with diarrhoea then? I'm always pleased that the sink is in reach when that's happened to me. The only alternative was all over the floor, surely. You mother was so unreasonable and cruel for screaming at you for that.

God knows Grunt. My mother was an evil, cruel bitch, it was just another example of the things she did!

I remember throwing up on top of the toilet lid once as I lifted it, and it dripped down the back and went everywhere. My mum was out and my dad couldn't have been nicer, got the disinfectant out and cleaned it up!