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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

would you bu if you made a 12 year old clean up their own vomit?

165 replies

captainproton · 31/07/2014 13:42

Child wakes up and vomits on his own bed and carpet in the middle of the night. Would you make them clean it up with no assistance from a parent, when said child is being repeatedly sick? The bouts of sickness have been ongoing for a couple of weeks now and seem to come on with no warning. Child is going to the doctor about it but mum has had enough of cleaning up sick, can't say I'd be too thrilled about it either.

I don't think it's unreasonable to get them to help out once they are better but if they are not well would you make them do it?

By the way I am not the child's parent. This happened to a colleague's son and she made them clean it up. There have been some jovial discussions here about whether or not she is a strict mum. I fall into the, 'would clean it up for them category'. I had an abusive mother and a weird upbringing, I would have been made to clear up my own sick after receiving a load of abuse. I don't know what is the normal thing to do. I assume there is an age when they have to do it for themselves, but is 12 too young?

I'm asking because I think I am in danger of babying my children when they are older owing to a rubbish childhood and I don't want to smother them. So when I hear of situations like this I am trying to work out what is the right thing to do.

OP posts:
FreeSpirit89 · 31/07/2014 16:03

Give the child a sick bucket to keep next to his bed. Job done.

ShelaghTurner · 31/07/2014 16:05

No way. It's part of what you sign up for as a parent. Poor child.

TheLovelyBoots · 31/07/2014 16:08

Fuck me, that is horrible. I have a 12 year old, it's not even a question that I would clean up his vomit. That is fantastically lacking in compassion for a sick child.

Shoopshoop2 · 31/07/2014 16:11

Sounds as if he should be in hospital. Of course you'd clean up after them,and at least supply a bucket.

gonerogue · 31/07/2014 16:13

I would definitely clean up after my children if they were sick.

I remember as an 8 year old having very bad D&V and having accidents in bed - and being made to clean myself and bedding/bucket etc. when I woke up and realised I had soiled myself / woke up and got sick. I had a bucket for the vomit at least.

I would never do that to my children. it was horrible.

mumofthemonsters808 · 31/07/2014 16:14

I'd clean it up and if I was not there I'd expect OH to take over. Not pleasant but we're parents and that's what the role entails. I'd then leave the kid with a sick bucket and keep popping in the bedroom to see how they are doing. Very harsh to expect a 12 year old to just get on with it.

TheLovelyBoots · 31/07/2014 16:15

I'm just shocked that she's venting her frustration with his persistent vomiting, rather than maybe concern or a wellspring of pity for her son. Imagine how this poor child feels?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 31/07/2014 16:16

Yes. It is unreasonable to make a child clean up their own vomit.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 31/07/2014 16:20

Bouts of vomiting for two weeks and not yet seen by gp?
Making the child clean up his own vomit?

How do ppl not know this is unacceptable?

KnittedJimmyChoos · 31/07/2014 16:22

I agree - as ever with Amanda. Why hasnt child seen GP, and yes vomit thing is extraordinary and worrying.

secretsquirrels · 31/07/2014 16:29

This is unbelievable. I would be beside myself with worry if my 12 year old was vomiting for two weeks. I'd have been to the GP after 3 or 4 days.
Why is it different from cleaning up after a sick 5 year old? Or a 7 year old? Or an poorly adult?
I wouldn't discuss parenting with this colleague.

IrianofWay · 31/07/2014 17:08

Yes it is. I would clear it up. Poor lad.

flyingtrue · 31/07/2014 19:12

No, not with a child, I'd clean it up.

ThePinkOcelot · 31/07/2014 19:13

I wouldn't dream of making a child clean up their own vomit. That's really awful. Poor kid.

Castlemilk · 31/07/2014 19:40

No! How could you make a sick person clear up their own, someone you love?

If a child - unthinkable.

Igggi · 31/07/2014 19:44

Absolutely not. But not would I wait weeks for a doctors appointment in such circumstances.

Hulababy · 31/07/2014 19:44

No, I wouldn't. I would take care of them, make sure they were okay and clean it up myself.

Infact I did just this for DD's 12y friend who stayed over with us - it was actually in a hotel. She was very ill - and it was coming out both ends unfortunately. But I did what I could to care for her and clean up after her. I even went downstairs to reception to ask for cleaning materials and extr towels, etc. to aid me - and that was at 3am, in my PJs. It didn't cross my mind not to or to ask her to clean up after herself!

But I would also look after an adult inthe same state if need be.

Snatchoo · 31/07/2014 19:47

YANBU to help a clearly ill child clean up their sick! And like others I can't believe she hasn't taken him to the GP yet.

DH helped 12 YO DSS at Xmas - he spewed all over the bathroom, I mean literally splattered all four walls, it smelled like shit - and this was just from sheer gluttony!

Pyjamaramadrama · 31/07/2014 19:48

I am not good with sick. But I wouldn't do that. You have to look after your sick child. It's the bare minimum of parenting.

What I would do in that situation is prepare the room, so plastic sheets on the bed underneath main sheet, buckets by the bed, a stash of towels ready and covering the floor possibly with waterproof sheet/bin bag underneath, and ask child to try their best to get it in the bucket.

QuintessentiallyQS · 31/07/2014 19:52

Poor poor child. Sad

I have never asked my sick children to clean up after themselves, and I never would. (They have however managed to get to the toilet, sick bowl in time)

Our au pair on the other hand, I had to clean up after her. She caught my kids' bug, and was very poorly with it. Her twin sister brought her home, said "I think she is going to be sick", made a face and ran out of of the house! Hmm

RockinHippy · 31/07/2014 19:56

Poor excuse for a parent she is that's for sure Angry that poor child :(

I hate puke, have hypersensitive to smell issues, but I wouldn't even do that to DH(unless drunk), let alone DD if they were really that ill :(

My 11yr old DD is a star though & she does try & clean up herself & panick over sick on the floor etc, but if she's ill, she's ill, I will still do it for her as an adult, that just being kind to someone who is suffering -

your colleague is an evil witch who doesn't deserve that poor kid :(

wellnowthenmardybum · 31/07/2014 19:57

The only time I wouldn't clean up my child's sick was if it was drink induced, or ate SOME DOG POO from the floor to impress friends

londonrach · 31/07/2014 19:59

When I was a child one of my friends mum made her clear up her sick at the age approx age as this boy. All the mums (I remember my mum being shocked) were talking about it for weeks. They all thought her a very cruel mum. Same with this. The child us ill and it make him worse to it clear up if he is feeling ill. Poor boy.

Adikia · 31/07/2014 20:01

Genuine illness I would always clean it up no matter what age the person was, its only drunk vomitting I refuse to clean up.

Sleepingbunnies · 31/07/2014 20:03

No way!

My lovey stepmum even used to clean up my illness when it was all self inflicted. And would sit by my bed stroking my hair!