To not understand why some parents think that having a tall child makes them a superior parent?

[coppingpandy]

Has anyone else noticed this? Some parents go on and on about having a tall child, as if it makes them better than everyone else, or as if it's because of something they've done parenting-wise.

I have noticed it both on here and in real life.

My DD's best friend has always been a fraction taller than DD, and for the past 7 years since they became friends at pre-school, her mum has not stopped going on about it. She mentions it all the time, as if it's medal-worthy that her DD is the tallest of the pair!

My DS is the youngest in his class, and so is quite small compared to lots of other children who are almost a year older than him. The mum of a very tall boy in his class is always mentioning the fact that DS is small and that her DS is so much taller. Again as if she deserves a bloody medal for her child being tall!

AIBU to think it's strange?

(Cue lots of parents protesting "But my child really is tall)

I think it's downright bloody rude for parents to mention, or compare, children's sizes.

My DS is 3 and we've had similar comments on him being on the shorter side. Family, friends and strangers have all commented. What really grates on me is that he actually suffers with a bone condition which makes him shorter than the average child.

I once worked with two guys. One was quite tall, and the other was shorter than average. Both were very seriously into bodybuilding. The tall guy said -- "i envy your height so much. Short people have it so much easier to grow muscle."

I don't understand that that isn't true is it?

My dad always goes on about ds1 being short. He used to be teeny tiny but now, at 6, he's about average. My dad is the shortest man in his family, 5'11. I think he is projecting his feelings about being shorter than his brothers and dad. My brother is very tall, 6'4 and always was a tall child and maybe my dad felt a sense of pride about it. Me, I couldn't care less. Ds1 is perfect. Strangely enough he never comments on dds size and she is petite. Ds2 is shaping up to be a giant though.

I find its other people commenting on DDs height,not me. I can't say I like it when a grown man says 'wow isn't she tall, you'll have to keep the men away with a big stick, look at the length of those legs'. About my 8 year old.

The child in DS's class, who happens to be very tall, is actually the most badly behaved child in the year too. The mum is one of those superior types, and I think she likes to look for things that she can feel superior about

Ops 3rd or 4th post !

I have experienced the opposite on a fb pregnancy group. Our children are now 2. There was regular comments from a few of the mums about how their 2 year olds are very small, wearing size 9-12 month clothes etc, how they are often mistaken for much younger, and it makes them so 'cute'.

My 2 year old was prem so I am delighted she is now 75th centile for height and weight, I wouldn't say 'proud' but certainly happy as I see it as a sign of her improved health (lots of health problems initially). I don't ever say it to anyone as I know they would find it weird lol, and I have been conditioned to a certain extent by that fb group to think small = cute = desirable.

Three of my four DC are tall and I have generally found that at best they attract a lot of inquisitive comments, at worst judgey pants in full force.
I am 5 foot 3 so I get a lot of comments are based on the fact I am short but my DC are tall. DH is 6 foot 4 so it's obviously him.

Bad comments are usually about look at that big boy/girl having a tantrum/in the buggy/playing in the toddler area it gets a bit wearing. I find generally people expect more from taller children.
DS3 2 is small and people always comment on how cute he is, he gets extra stuff for being cute. If he has a tantrum I get "Aww bless him" if DS2 aged 3 has a tantrum which is 100 times a day I get eye rolls and tuts.

When DS1 was in second year juniors he got told off by a supply teacher for not being in the right year group. The top year were going on a trip and she tried to get him to go on the bus, it was only when he started crying and another teacher came to see what the problem was that she believed him

DD is 14 and has had years of people saying she'll be 6 foot etc. she is 5 foot 7 and has only grown an inch in the last two years. She is a bit disappointed I think.

I have heard lots of parents brag about how small and thin their dds are.

Gets on my nerves tbh.

People are what they are, I haven't always taught my dcs this physicality is irrelevant to who someone is.

Should read have always.

Also my dis is small for his age, I hope he grows taller but I never comment about it to him.

He is a goalkeeper at football and I know that if he doesn't grow then that dream will end but so what.

It's always nice to read people say things like "it's not desirable to be very tall as a female", when you're a 6ft 3 female!!!!

Oh well, that may be the case, but at least I can always reach the items on the top shelves of the supermarket without having to ask someone else.

I think people just like being competitive over weird stuff. My grandmother is obsessed with babies' weights. My cousin had a baby who weighed 6lbs 11oz when she was born and she went on and on and on about how TINY she was, in a disapproving manner. My niece was 9lbs 4oz in comparison and my grandmother practically wet herself in excitement, exclaiming what a "healthy" weight she was. A lot of people still equate weight and height with health, when that's not generally the case any more. I was always one of the shortest in my class, and the youngest and thinnest in my group of friends yet I started puberty and my periods first so I was obviously plenty healthy enough.

I've always felt a bit sorry for my cousin, who is massively tall for her age (she was about 5'5 at the age of 9). She has severe dyslexia, could barely read and was really struggling academically yet she was the height of a teenager so people automatically thought she was older and were shocked that she couldn't read. That made her feel even worse about it and really embarrassed.

Mine are both very tall. I never mention it but lots of other mums comment on them!

I talk about my daughter being tall. I talk about my son being short too.

I talk about my kids, including their physical features.

I don't ever suggest that my daughter being tall is good, or my son being short is bad. That inference would have to be coming from the listener.

Tess i feel your pain. i'm 6ft 2, my husband is 6ft 5 and i fear our 3 year old DD will also be a giant. people comment on her height all the time. height is not something i like, i hated being tall all the way through school, and have only learned to live with it relatively recently. so this is not something i would ever boast about, or brag about, just something i quietly notice and worry on my dd's behalf about. i hope so much i manage to bring her up to not obsess about everyone's physical differences.

A tongue-in-cheek example of one of the perks of being tall for your age (this scene is set at my all-girls boarding school, in September 1993, when my peers and I were 13)...

Popular Girl #1: I watched Dirty Dancing with my older cousin at the start of the holidays.
Popular Girl #2: Oh I love that film, I watched it round a friend's, her mum has it on video.
Popular Girl #1: I asked my mum to buy it on video for me, but she said no, as it's a 15.
Me: I've got it on video!
Popular Girl #2: Your parents bought it for you?
Me: No of course not, I just walked into HMV and bought it myself, you tease me for my height, but it has its benefits you know!
Popular Girl #1: If I give you the money, will you get a copy for me during half-term?
Me: Will you stop teasing me for my height?

And after that, I bought any 15 videos other girls wanted, and the following year I successful bought my first 18 video. It became my way of getting through the rest of my school years without being called "Jolly Green Giant" (our uniforms were green) or "Tall Freak".

To clarify: the perk was being able to buy stuff without getting ID'd, and getting into the cinema to see films others couldn't see. It gave me "one up" on the girls who teased me, and eventually it became my way of stopping them teasing me!

ksrwr - absolutely agree. I don't make a big fuss about the height of my children, other people do, and I hate it.

It has taken me a long time to accept my height too, I could put on a good show of being fine with my height, but for a long time I struggled inside. At a time when you just want to fit in, standing out in such a way, well it's horrible.

For a start, when I was picked on at school, I used to think "why are they picking on me for something I have no control over."

I'm in a good place about it now, however reading comments about it not being desirable to be really tall as a woman, took me back to my early school days for a brief moment!

I have never met anybody in RL who has boasted about their child being tall.

My almost 7yr old DD has always been the tallest in her class. The other children are catching up a bit now, but when she was 4/5, she was the height of a 6/7 year old. People always thought she was a lot older than she was, and I felt really sorry for her. Once in a queue for facepainting, she was told off for not letting a 5 year old go before her- DD was 4! The woman in question thought she was much older.

Another time, my great aunt went on, loudly and at length, in front of DD, about how SORRY she was for girls who are TOO TALL. I could have swung for her.

"Another time, my great aunt went on, loudly and at length, in front of DD, about how SORRY she was for girls who are TOO TALL. I could have swung for her"

I experienced that a lot growing up. My granny in particular and various elderly ladies who were friends of the family, who thought women should be small and delicate! I loved it when super models where the thing - beautiful tall amazonian women!! I remember once when I was in Sainsburys helping a very short older lady get something off the top shelf - she said 'Thank you dear. It must be dreadful being so tall. So hard to feel feminine' . I was speechless. But I did think about taking the box of washing flakes I had just handed her and pouring them all over her!!

I haven't noticed it but I can see how it could be distressing. Ds is about average I think, maybe a bit shorter, but he was 5 lbs. at birth and I've always known he'd never be a huge person!

We are in the States and moved a bit ago and definitely noticed how insanely Tall people are here in our current (not home) state. If they are proud about it that's fine, I haven't heard about it, but privately I call it the land of the amazons. It's curious - not the men, but the women, are tall and BROAD. The men seem average sized. I've never seen it as appealing or attractive and certainly wouldn't brag about it. Where I come from there are a lot of petite, slim women.

So now being a tall women isn't appealing or attractive?!

Wow the insults just keep on coming don't they!

It only dawned on me this year why DS is always in the centre of whole school photos - they arrange them in height from centre out. doh!
People have been pointing out DSs height since he was a toddler fortunately he is in a year where there are a lot of tall children so he has not had too many problems.
However people always expect him to act his height rather than his age. I tend to mention how tall he is for his age not to boast but to reassure the eyebrow raisers when he behaviour doesn't seem to match his height.
He has only recently stopped holding my hand when we are out and about which for the average 8-9yr old doesn't look strange but when they look 11-12 it does look odd.

I haven't noticed this in particular and I have 1 tall DC, 1 average height and one short so one of each!
People are strange though - I remember people congratulating DC3 because all his teeth came through really early; one woman actually told him he was 'clever' because of this!