To not understand why some parents think that having a tall child makes them a superior parent?

[coppingpandy]

Has anyone else noticed this? Some parents go on and on about having a tall child, as if it makes them better than everyone else, or as if it's because of something they've done parenting-wise.

I have noticed it both on here and in real life.

My DD's best friend has always been a fraction taller than DD, and for the past 7 years since they became friends at pre-school, her mum has not stopped going on about it. She mentions it all the time, as if it's medal-worthy that her DD is the tallest of the pair!

My DS is the youngest in his class, and so is quite small compared to lots of other children who are almost a year older than him. The mum of a very tall boy in his class is always mentioning the fact that DS is small and that her DS is so much taller. Again as if she deserves a bloody medal for her child being tall!

AIBU to think it's strange?

(Cue lots of parents protesting "But my child really is tall)

I've seen this. One friend even put a post up on Facebook saying 'our children, they're the same age!!' With her son about double the height of the other boy. I though that was quite rude actually.

I was a very tall kid but very average height adult (5 foot 6). My mother had/has a thing about my height which I never understood - often says she thought I'd be much taller than I am, thought I would've kept growing longer than I did, sounds disappointed every time. She also told me to stop hanging around with the short kids and make taller friends when I was in primary school. Never understood why and still dont!

I was going to say I'd never come across this, but then I remembered I have!

One of my friends has a DS the same age as my DS. She would go on and on about how big he was for his age. Except he was the same size as my DS, who was always average height. Then when he was a teenager she'd go on about how he was taller than her, when he plainly wasn't! Bizarre. He's taller than her now, but still not a giant like she makes out.

Of course she could have been saying that because she was jealous of my genius DS.

My youngest is short. I'm always noticing how tall his peers are, some of them are nearly as tall as me and he's only year 3. But none of the mums have ever pointed it out to me. The fun of being a short arse, kids are taller than me while they're still at primary school.

I feel bad for my DS - he is quite tall (just turned 16 and 190cm tall) but does not want to have it brought up. He is very self conscious about his height.

It seems like every person who has gone any period of time without seeing him comments on his height before anything else. It is not like I am doing anything spectacular, height is a crap shoot and function of genes. If it was parental magic, perhaps my DD would not only be 120cm 2 months before her 9th birthday.

I was very tall - I have Marfans so I am tall with long arms and legs and very thin. I felt like a freak growing up...I used to slouch and even now I cannot wear heels as I feel so utterly self conscious. People commented all the time and I used to beg God to make me stop growing.

I am now 5 foot 9 as the curve in my spine (another Marfans thing) is ironically making me shorter. BUT it is funny...my children are all tall - without Marfans thankfully, just naturally tall - and I do take some kind of pride in it. Maybe because for the first time I see the beauty in it and how gazelle-like they are and how athletic they look. I wish I had seen that in myself when I was young.

My DS is tall for his age, he's only a toddler so it feel the need to point out that he's tall for his age so that people don't expect too much from him. So many people just expect him to be able to hold a conversation and expect him to be able to hold his own that I've come to mention it before it happens. For me it's a way of protecting him, I feel like he gets a raw deal because of his height.

I don't do it to brag, just realised it probably sounds that way but actually it's partly to do with insecurities. I'm not sure how it is for people with older children who can hold their own though, but I would expect it's about the same for them too.

I really haven't come across this, I am tall (5ft 9") but was average height at school, didn't sprout until I was 13. Hated it until I went to University and met other tall girls, though they were willowy, I am and never been slender of build.
My dh is just 1.5" taller than me, my maternal Grandfather 1" shorter than me but my male relatives on my paternal side are all 6ft+, my Ds' s are very average height.
I seem to always fancy average height men, or men who just happen to be average height, like Richard Gere, Paul Newman, Daniel Craig, oh and Dh
I hope for lots of different things for my sons, can hand on heart, honestly say that height has never been one.

It's just not a thing for me.

When I was a child one of my friends was somewhat taller than I was and I used to get given her hand-me-down clothes. She very much enjoyed teasing me about being smaller and getting her cast-offs. I now feel I tower over her being a whole 3 inches taller. This is sweet revenge, especially as, at 5'3", I very rarely tower over anyone!

I know more than one person who didn't grow after primary school and went from being one of the tallest to one of the smallest.

My eldest DD has a taller friend and we benefit greatly from the barely worn uniform etc, her mum finds it hard her being taller than her peers especially keeping her in clothes but as for showing off about it I can quite believe some people do do that but they must be quite erm...odd

I have come across this a lot in baby and toddler groups. DS is not especially small (around 25th centile for height and weight) but a couple of parents/grandparents have made comments about how much bigger their DC (usually boys) are, as if it's some kind of great personal achievement on their part!
I can't really see the attraction of a big baby or toddler. They are heavier to carry, grow out of clothes more quickly and smaller nappies are cheaper.
I'm quite small (5'2) and wouldn't like to be taller. There's a lot of advantages to being small. I always have enough leg room on planes in cars etc. I can sometimes buy children's clothes and shoes, so much cheaper.
I'm sure there are advantages to being tall too but I've never thought about it.
I hope DS grows up to be an average height like DH but if he is a short man I doubt it'll have any significant impact on his life. My dad is short and it's certainly not held him back. There's many more important things than height.

There is a very very tall boy in my Dds class and it has been so hard for him especially when they were in Nursery and mums from the other years would expect so much more from him and assume he'd batter their kids despite being very gentle, the trousers she has to buy him to fit in the leg are far too big around the waist

Maybe the "superior" woman is feeling your obvious judgement of her badly behaved child ?

Maybe her tall child is the youngest in the year and immature and is sick of parents thinking his behaviour should be better just because he looks older ?

I have never come across this. When you say 'parents' do you mean this one batshit mother?

Dd is on the 98th percentile for height. At 6 she wears clothes for a 10 year old. Clothes are a nightmare, she grows out of them every two months it seems. I no longer buy stuff in the sales for her, the odds that they will fit her when it is the right season are really slim. When I do talk about her height it is usually to complain.

But. Even though I don't start the conversation about height, almost every day someone says "isn't she tall!". Really? I had not noticed...

Whose child is badly behaved Snow?

I only notice this with babies
If you tell someone that their baby is big , to them it means healthy.
I have not noticed this with older children tbh.
My dcs are tall, some people comment others don't.

I'm laughing at the idea of 5'8" being 'short'. We're a short arse family (Scottish and South American genes - no hope of any of my children being average height in England, at 5'2" I'm the average height for a Scottish woman) and people definitely say things like 'oh maybe they'll grow' when I say something about DD1 being the shortest girl in the class (despite being the oldest and obviously the most gorgeous and smartest).

Height would have been a sign of wealth in the time of the industrial revolution when poor diet in overcrowded cities restricted height. Now there is no social link to height, we all can afford enough food to grow properly in this country (why do you think there are so many overweight people). But height is still seen as desirable for men (not for women, short women are more successful than tall women apparently).

short women are more successful than tall women apparently

That's because all us tall women are too chilled out to climb the corporate ladder - and all the short male managers don't want to have women bigger than them at the board table :o

Yes. I have experience of this, on both sides.

My mum goes on constantly about how tall my youngest DCs are, and how much they've grown all the time!

They're not even especially tall! One of my DDs is actually below average height, but when she left primary school was the tallest of her peers .

She just literally stopped growing at that point (we have family history of this on the female side ).

My nephews have always thought it "such fun" to take the piss out of my DD for being on the short side, whilst they tower above everyone and are well over 6ft...as if it's somehow preferable/superior (like OP has witnessed).

actually, define 'success'. I doubt tall women are less successful in business! maybe short women have more children (I read that somewhere) which is defined as 'success' in evolutionary terms or something.

soulsource i never tell tall people that they're tall! cos I am a good conversationalist ha ha LIke lizzylou who sounds very sensible, I just don't like to 'fan' an issue that isn't an issue unless you make it one. I have two average heighted children btw! but they're not average in any other way.

Ashamed to say I am a culprit to this line of thought

DD was always tall for her age, DH and I are pretty average (5.8 and 5.2) as per our race. People commented positively and I too felt reaaaally proud of this fact that we have produced such a tall off-spring!!! Now at almost 13 yrs, she is around 1.5 inches taller than me and we hope that she gains another couple of inches.

HOWEVER, karma has bitten back badly the next time. DS has always followed 15-25 pc for height and at almost 6 he fits comfortably in 4-5 yr old clothes, and inspite of being the eldest boy in his class, he is the shortest!! A few people did comment as to how tiny he is and I am VERY sensitive about this issue coz I dont want my son to be called a short-arsed when he is older. Even now I think he has been teased by some older boys in his school for his tiny stature, although I cant be 100% sure about that. Very ashamed to admit that I constantly compare him with his freinds/class mates on this aspect. However I am pleased with his progress in other areas, like reading or communication skills or even writing, all of which have been reported to have acheived the desired level.

I am hoping that he is following his dad's footsteps and will remain this skinny short lad till puberty and then will shoot up. No I really dont want a 6 footer (well it is extremely unlikely anyways) but to reach his dad's height will be fine for me. I know I am being a bit shallow..but as stated in other posts, tall men desirability is ingrained in our thinking process. Having said that, even if my DS turns out really short in adult life, still he would remain the sparkling light of my life.

I didn't think being very tall was particularly desirable for either gender. Not least because for children it causes people to assume they are older and therefore their age appropriate behaviour is "brattish". Two cousins of mine, on male and one female, different sides of the family, were very tall for their age and it in no way enhanced their childhoods.

At 14 my female cousin looks of an age with me, I'm 25. A lot of that is due to height and build. It makes life harder for her. She's barely a teen but she looks like an adult.

I've come across this in real life too. A parent of a child in my child's class is always going on about tall their child is, how they are having another growth spurt and how the uniform will only fit them till Christmas. This parent got the hump when she discovered my child was half a shoe size bigger than her child. The funny thing is this child is exactly the same size as the other spring/summer children in the class.