To not understand why some parents think that having a tall child makes them a superior parent?

[coppingpandy]

Has anyone else noticed this? Some parents go on and on about having a tall child, as if it makes them better than everyone else, or as if it's because of something they've done parenting-wise.

I have noticed it both on here and in real life.

My DD's best friend has always been a fraction taller than DD, and for the past 7 years since they became friends at pre-school, her mum has not stopped going on about it. She mentions it all the time, as if it's medal-worthy that her DD is the tallest of the pair!

My DS is the youngest in his class, and so is quite small compared to lots of other children who are almost a year older than him. The mum of a very tall boy in his class is always mentioning the fact that DS is small and that her DS is so much taller. Again as if she deserves a bloody medal for her child being tall!

AIBU to think it's strange?

(Cue lots of parents protesting "But my child really is tall)

[TigerFeet]

I have tall children, esp dd2 who is 4 and in age 6-7 clothes. Other people comment far more than I do. She starts reception in September, for the past couple of years we've had "Why aren't you at school" comment from nosey buggers whenever we've been out and about during school hours. Round here the competitive parenting seems to centre around which reading group your child is in at school. I stay out of it myself, really cba with playground silliness from parents.

DH and I are pretty average in height but there are a lot of tall people in the family on both sides. FIL is 6'2" or 3".

[ChoccaDoobie]

DD is small for her age, compared to most of her friends she is VERY small. There is one parent at the school gates that literally mentions it every time I see her! Most people have never said a word.

Unfortunately Dd hates being small and really does feel as if it's a slight on her character, I have no idea why. She has certainly never enjoyed being called "cute". Having said that her best friend is a very tall boy, he was taller than me at 11 and his mum tells me that it was SO difficult when he was younger because of people's expectations of him.

[Thenapoleonofcrime]

Most of those saying they or their children wanted to be smaller, this is massively gendered. Being smaller, cuter and so on is often perceived as a good thing in a woman, or at least not being taller than the man. Taller men have been shown to have life advantages over smaller men (in % terms, there's plenty of smaller successful men out there) so it's not surprising that taller boys get lots of compliments on this.

This only holds if you are within say 95% of the normal distribution, if you are exceptionally tall or small, that may also be something people comment on negatively.

If you check out dating profiles about how tall women want men and men want women, you will see that height is still a big deal for most people, most women want to be smaller (in some sense) than their male partners (I have no idea how it works out in same sex relationships).

It's not surprising that if height and size matters in our society, that this stuff starts when the children are younger.

[BurnThisDiscoDown]

I'm guilty of mentioning height when chatting to other parents . I think it's because DS is smaller than average, and I find it fascinating the range of heights you get when they're small (he's 3). I'm certainly not being snide or anything, it's just conversation like asking how old they are and that you like their outfit etc. People always commented on DS's height when he was littler and I didn't really mind because he is small (so are me and DH). Might rethink any comments on height now, I don't want to upset anyone. And all little ones are gorgeous anyhow, aren't they?

[myotherusernameisbetter]

I think it doesn't help the fact that my two are ony 13 months apart and pretty much the same size now so when you are paying for something and are asked their ages, it always sounds like I am lying as there will only be one year different and they are both very tall - i.e. recently on holiday paying for a family ticket for crazy golf (2 adults and 2 children with a child being under 14) asked how old the children are and I say 13 and 12 but can I have adult sized putters as they are tall, person on the Kiosk looks my boys (5'10 plus) up and down, checks out the burgeoning mustaches and long hairly legs stciking below shorts and size 10 feet below and gives me "the look" . Sometimes I feel like just paying for 4 adults and being done with the look :( tbf DS1 was only a week off being 14 and DS2 a month of being 13 but still.....

[darkness]

I have repetitively been faced with mothers keen to tell me
"you’re children are very tall....." followed by a huge long pause
I really don’t know what to do with it - clearly I'm not activity responsible for it as I didn’t sneak growth hormones into their baby milk...so "thank you" is inappropriate

"Well done you for spotting that one, I hadn’t noticed !" - is just going to get me slapped.

So I tend to go for the altogether more offensive but less directional...
"No they’re not - there are just a lot of dwarves around here..do you think its something in the water ?"

and no...I still have no idea why they're telling me

[mum9876]

I have a small dc who's best friend is significantly taller. It is very noticeable and people comment. But I don't think it's ever been in a derrogatory way at all. I've never felt offended by it - just think people are trying to make conversation really.

[VelvetEmbers]

I've probably been guilty of mentioning height at school. I'm 5ft 2 and DH is about 5ft 7/8. All 4 of our older children were tiny until they hit their teens. I'm used to having children who look about 2 years younger than they actually are.

Then along comes DD2. Average sized baby but once at school we realised she towered over her peers. I don't think she's the tallest in the class but she's certainly one of the tallest. It is so odd - for our family - to have a tall child. Her BF tends to be slightly taller, then she catches her up and me and her mum often compare them when they come out of school (from a distance - not in their hearing).

It isn't boasting. It's incredulity.

[MumInVillage]

I have definitely noticed this. I have a short DS and parents seem keen to tell me how much their DC have grown, or they're having to buy adult clothes now. I may be a little bit sensitive but I have to assume their apprent lack of awareness that I might be means they're using it to be competitive about how wonderful their DC are.

[BruthasTortoise]

My DS at age 5 was the height of a tall 7 year old. His p1 teacher told me that she had difficulty remembering that he was only the same age as the other children and to adjust her expectations accordingly as he was so tall. made me feel like crap, I mean what was I supposed to do, chop a few inches off him?

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Yeah I totally get this OP. That bloody chart in the red book doesn't help.

My ds is on the 50th so neither here nor there but one of my friends' is 99th or something riddic and she constantly brings it up.

Whatevs. My boy is more handsome by a mile. No bias.

[Rainbunny]

People are funny about height. My best friend has always insisted that she is taller than me. We are about the same height but I'm actually a tad bit taller. I've never bothered mentioning it because it seems to be important to my friend that she's taller. My friend is a die-hard high heels kind of woman so she is always taller wearing her heels. Anyway for some reason we ended up getting our heights measured properly at some sports team event and of course I turned out to be taller. She got really pissy about this (and made them measure us again!) By the way, we are grown women in our thirties! To this day I've never understood why it so important to her.

She'll definitely be the mum who brags about her "tall" kids...

[tobysmum77]

I've not noticed this specifically. There is a tendency to boast about the size of babies though.

In terms of the teeth and describing it as 'advanced' That could be me. Dd2 grew hers early and I may have described it as such. I was genuinely joking though

[roofio87]

Yabu

[2kidsintow]

My sister does this. She always has to mention that her DD, who is a year younger than my DD, is taller. And often mentions that she has bigger feet too.

[Jinsei]

My dd is short, but she is very clever! Do I get a badge?

[ithoughtofitfirst]

My DS is LUSH I want a badge.

[306235388]

I'll take any good parenting accolade I can get. Both my dc are tall.
Seriously no I don't see it as a sign of my superior parenting skills and don't know anyone who would.

[NickNackNooToYou]

YANBU an ex friend did this all the time, drove me beserk and ultimately began to knock my DS's confidence

We no longer socialise and my DS is back to his happy small but perfectly formed self

her DS maybe tall for his age but his attitude and behaviour was and is awful

[sarahquilt]

Tall does not necessarily equate with health. Tall people tend to suffer much more back pain over the course of their lives.

[sonlypuppyfat]

If tall people get bad backs do short people get cricks in their necks?

[Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon]

I always had bizarrely complementary comments from others about dds height, older people (and some younger ones) would congratulate me as if I had anything to do with it, I suppose they see being taller as a sign the child is thriving.

A parent (or anyone else) who drones on about a childs height and constantly compares them to others does so because they're bores who've nothing interesting to say but they desperately need to hear the sound of their own voice so they repeat the same thing over and over.

[littlejohnnydory]

eh?? My dd1 is very tall, head and shoulers above her classmates. My other dd is on the small side. I've never seen height as a desirable feature, I've always thought it was the other way round tbh. Yes, it's the first thing people comment on about dd1 and that is annoying because I don't want to make an issue of it, but more because I'm worried she'll become self conscious than because I think it's superior. Bit confused by this post really!

[SoleSource]

I'm 5 ft 9 " and I am sick to death of being told I am very tall by short arses.