To not understand why some parents think that having a tall child makes them a superior parent?

[coppingpandy]

Has anyone else noticed this? Some parents go on and on about having a tall child, as if it makes them better than everyone else, or as if it's because of something they've done parenting-wise.

I have noticed it both on here and in real life.

My DD's best friend has always been a fraction taller than DD, and for the past 7 years since they became friends at pre-school, her mum has not stopped going on about it. She mentions it all the time, as if it's medal-worthy that her DD is the tallest of the pair!

My DS is the youngest in his class, and so is quite small compared to lots of other children who are almost a year older than him. The mum of a very tall boy in his class is always mentioning the fact that DS is small and that her DS is so much taller. Again as if she deserves a bloody medal for her child being tall!

AIBU to think it's strange?

(Cue lots of parents protesting "But my child really is tall)

[flowery]

"The mum is one of those superior types, and I think she likes to look for things that she can feel superior about"

Nothing to do with DC being tall specifically then. There are unpleasant, insecure people like that, who try and find things to feel superior about, and there are certainly plenty of them on MN and in real life. I think they need sympathy tbh. I mean, what an exhausting way to live life!

[KANGAD]

Weird. I've never noticed this. Probably because I completely ignore any competitive/superior parenting! Incidentally my children are small for their age and I love it. they stay in clothes for longer.

[KANGAD]

"Nothing to do with DC being tall specifically then. There are unpleasant, insecure people like that, who try and find things to feel superior about, and there are certainly plenty of them on MN and in real life. I think they need sympathy tbh. I mean, what an exhausting way to live life!"

Completely agree

[InSummer]

I don't know if this is a thing or not.

People always mention DD being tall but I don't think it's anything to brag about. DD gets annoyed because she always gets told to be the Mum in games

[MinionDave]

I've got one of each - my DS is 9 and 4ft 11, and my DD is 11 months younger and 9 inches shorter.

I mention their heights, but only because there is such a stark contrast between them (when I was pg with DD I wondered if they would be mistaken for twins when older - never! Lol)

It's genetics at the end of the day, need all sorts to make the world go round. For what it's worth I'm tall, always have been (5ft 10) and I'd love to be a few inches smaller so taller is not always better in my opinion

[MinionDave]

And I like 'short' men, that's the type I go for!

[indigo18]

I have DTs; my DS has was always the tallest in his class. He stuck out like a sore thumb in class photos as all through school until sixth form, he was a good 6 inches taller than the next tallest. By sixth form, there were a few other boys in the year of similar height. He is 6ft 4in adult height.
My DD, however, is about average height for a female, and was around that all through school.
I never once felt myself to be a superior parent for having a tall son, in fact people would assume he was the older brother and think he was behaving in an immature way for his age.
However, I recall reading some research findings that taller men earn more, on average, and are more successful.

[bumblingbovine49]

Not - My niece was the tallest girl in her class by far in primary school and everyone would say she took after her mother (who was 5ft 10" - all my family are quite tall) instead of her dad's side of the family (her dad was also 5ft 10" but his parents were both quite short)

When she got to 10-11 years old she stopped growing completely and is now about 5ft 4" tall at age 22years old - so on the short side of average for a woman.

My dh was always one of (if not the) tallest children in his class throughout his primary school years. He is now 5ft 8" which is hardly considered tall for a man.

Height in school years is really not always an indicator of adult height so I see no point in commenting on it at all. My ds is one of the tallest in his class yet I really never mention this as I know it means nothing in terms of how tall he will be when older, it is always others who say to me how tall he is.

[AnnaLegovah]

I've not noticed it on here but have in 'RL'. I can think of one friend in particular who keeps talking about how tall her son is compared to my DD (who is younger and comes from shorter parents). It's bizarre.

[gymboywalton]

i do have conversations about my son's height quite often simply because it is the first thing EVERYONE mentions about him!

and if my friends are talking about how much their son has grown someone will always add 'oh but of course, it's nothing compared to x' which makes me cringe a little inside.

he is HUGE and people comment CONSTANTLY.

[EarthWindFire]

if I'm honest, there has always been a small amount of short man jokes and feeling superior cos we're tall.

Well aren't you lovely

[FrankSaysNo]

Research shows taller people command higher salaries:

www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/5887567/Tall-men-earn-more-than-shorter-colleagues-research-claims..html

tall people are more confident and authoritative

www.apa.org/monitor/julaug04/standing.aspx

I await anecdotal evidence that all the Napoleons out there manage very well.

[exexpat]

I have often ended up talking about my children's heights but only because other people comment on them, as they are sometimes so conspicuous: head and shoulders above some of their friends. It's an obvious characteristic, and an easy thing for people to notice and talk about.

They don't mind being tall, but we have had issues with people assuming they are older and expecting them to behave in keeping with their height rather than their age. And it gets very expensive in clothes and shoes, tricky to find age-appropriate things in the right sizes etc.

I suppose the only way in which I am at all smug about their heights is that when people try to tell me that vegetarians are all weedy and stunted, I can point to them as living proof that a vegetarian diet is perfectly good for growing children.

But as I always tell people, I was always tall for my age until the early years of secondary school, then I stopped growing and everyone else carried on, so I am now completely average. My DCs aren't going to end up freakishly tall (DS seems to have stopped at 6', I'm guessing DD will be about 5'7) so it's a very temporary phenomenon.

[Anomaly]

Tall is seen as desirable up to a point for women and almost no limit for men. So it is a boast. Obviously there is a huge genetic component so it's hardly about superior parenting. I know two very very tall children and both have dads who are well over 6 foot.

I was amazed by my DS2 who at 2 would be taken for a 4 year old. At 4 he's now not that tall compared to his peers. I do wonder how my two sons will pan out height wise and I honestly hope they end up tallish.

[Lally112]

Really? Its not superior when they are 6ft6 like DH with size 13(sometimes 14) feet that is impossible to get shoes for at a reasonable price like DH, Its fucking thrilling having to use one of the kids stools to see in the mirror because he put it up or to reach the stuff he puts on top of the cupboard because he can reach it. Both my DS's seem to be heading to the height of their fathers side of the family and I'm going to have permanent neck creak looking up at them all. Never need a ladder to paint the ceilings in this house though so that's one positive I can think of

[teeththief]

My DD is the smallest in her year at school. She loves it, especially as people assume she's weak and slow a lot of the time but she's the complete opposite.

My friend's DD is the same age but a foot taller and has struggled with teachers in particular expecting more of her just because she looks older than she is. Whereas my DD gets a lot of praise for things because she looks at least a year younger than her actual age.

I've never heard any one brag about their tall child until reading this thread!

[Boysclothes]

Totally agree with the insecurity thing. My parents are insecure people, haven't achieved much, always struggling and felt a little inferior... But they are tall! So that became the thing in our family that we could be proud of. It wasn't as overt as that of course, but reading between the lines that's what was going on. My brother is getting on for seven foot tall and it's a huge source of pride.

Having said that they totally adore DS and literally if he was four foot tall it wouldn't matter to them. I have spent a lot of time working out how tall he will be and angsting over it. Calming down now though.

[BalloonSlayer]

Ha ha I am guilty of this!

Well I hope I don't give the impression that I think I am a better parent, it's just that my eldest was always tall for his age and it fascinated me as DH and I am not tall, and so I was always wondering how tall he would turn out to be. So I probably talk about it more than I should.

He is 14 now, and not as tall for his age as he was, but he is the same height as his Dad and I am willing him to be taller, just so I can sqwawk: "He's bigger than his Dad!". I can't help it but I think it'll be so cool when all my DCs, who grew from a tiny speck in my tummy, are actually bigger than me!

I think this may all stem from when they were babies and EBF and I would go to the clinic and whatever weight they had put on that week, I would feel proud and think "I did that ALL BY MYSELF."

[Twitches2]

It's not fun being head and shoulders taller than everyone in your class at school (particularly for a girl, as girls are expected to be cute/petite etc...) and all I ever got was parents whispering 'isn't she BIG?' about me to each other. Not in a nice way. Within earshot of me and my parents.

Maybe parents making out that being tall is a positive thing are just trying to boost their kids' confidence/counteract the negativity from other people.

[BeattieBow]

I've never come across this (but my children aren't particularly tall or short so it never comes up in conversation really).

Is this something that you feel a bit sensitive about with regard to your children?

I always notice when parents speak about their children being artistic/good actors/brilliant singers etc as this is something that I would love my children to be (because I'm not), but sadly they seem to take after me in that regard.

[schmee]

People always comment on how tall my DCs are (they are tall). I didn't realise it was yet another thing where I'm supposed to assume a modest position and pretend it isn't the case (a la reading levels, maths ability, general maturity). I'll know for next time that any comment on their height (which is blindingly fucking obvious) should be met with a denial (oh, they're not really that tall, they're just wearing stilts at the moment).

Actually as previous posters have said being tall is a double aged sword. My 99th centime DD (just turned 3) looks like a five year old, so people expect her to behave like one. I've got chronic back pain from carrying her. She may well reach puberty early. When she is older she'll struggle to find clothes, and will probably find it harder to find a boyfriend. If I mention her height myself, it's generally more of a concern than a boast.

In life it seems to me it is better to be average. Average ability, average size, average looks - we are only blessed by average looks. Anything else and people will have a go at you for being different. I can understand why being clever or pretty attracts jealousy or meanness, but I really didn't realise I had to worry about height.

OP I think you are projecting, but if it bothers you that much then just tell your friends that you are sensitive about your child's height and ask them to stop mentioning it. Simple.

[sonlypuppyfat]

I just think being tall is desirable though isn't it I'm a very average 5'5" and all my family tower over me. DS has been reaching up for me since he was 12 no one wants to be short do they? Life's easier when you are tall.

[naturalbaby]

I've not noticed it, almost the opposite in fact. I find it bit of a drawback when people expect a lot more of tall kids.

[MrsWinnibago]

My Dh is 5,.8 BoysClothes and he's never been called short to his face...he's obviously not the tallest in the room ever but he's taller than me and that'll do. I think if someone did call him short, he'd laugh at them for being ridiculous.

[micah]

Mine needs to be small if she's to make the olympics as a gymnast. We will stop feeding her if it looks like she's going over 5"2.

People comment on dd2 being "very" tall, but she's average in her class. She has a very slim, willowy build so I think she looks proportionally taller.