to throw my false teeth at the next stranger who talks to my grandson?

[PleaseJustShootMeNow]

It happens all the time and it's beginning to fray my nerves. Happened again today. Having a quiet coffee, minding my own business, when a woman walks over and starts chatting to him. He's a happy, smiley chap and it seems people can't resist him. This would be fine but she has to go and ruin it by looking at me and saying 'your grandson is lovely'. He's my son! I'm only forty fucking one. God I must look wrecked.

I collected my ds every day of Reception year until one day dh was off work and went to get him. The TA said 'oh look J, your big brother has come to collect you today!'

DO I LOOK LIKE I COULD BE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY HUSBAND'S MOTHER???

It's nothing to do with how you look, unless you think all grandparents look 'wrecked'?

I'm 45 and most of my friends around my age are now grandparents

I always go with the cowardly option of saying 'aww your child is lovely'...that way if it is their grandchild, they dont mind correcting me.

Someone asked my mum if I was her granddaughter the other day I'm 36!

She wasn't amused...

My son used to tell the girls at nursery that I was 23. I was not, I was 41. This was all fine till they had a work experience girl from school who beleived him that his mum was 23 and was on the cusp of saying to me " Oh, are you V Jnr's granny", when one of the other staff body checked her.

It really wasn't her fault, but still......

My mum was a gran at 40 but that person was rude poke them next time

My friend (and I) are older mothers.

She's had this twice.

and booked herself in for Botox

I was 42 when I had ds3. So far I've only had 1 person, in Tesco, make a grandma remark but several of my, same age, friends are grandparents and my stepdaughter has a little boy who calls me Granny. I'm sure lots of people think I'm ds's granny.

Heh somebody thought I was my pals daughter once.. she was not amused

It's sweet that people want to chat to your youngling though, they don't mean any harm.

Drink coffee in areas where people tend to have children later. There is seriously a difference in perception. Of course maybe you just looked rather old that day! (Am older than you so can say these things )

I had DS at 41. I lived in fear of someone thinking I was his Grandma.

The worst thing that happened to us was DP took DS(1) and DD(12), (but looking maybe 14) to a different church from our usual one for a special service. The vicar said it was nice to see him and his partner and their baby. DP was very distraught and concerned that he looked like some old 40 something sleaze bag, having a baby with a young teen. Why would a vicar even think that?

People used to think I was dd1 sister or babysitter not any more though, -tut

The only safe age to have children is 28 exactly.

People are so rude.

I got Granny's looking tired today!

So mistaken not old for a granny but a tired looking granny.

I was 40.

I feel your pain. Last week, at a family gathering, an old relative instantly recognised me, which was great I thought. Means I clearly haven't aged much since I saw her about 10 years ago.

Sadly it was followed by, 'and is this your daughter?' The person she was talking about was my 38 year old SIL! Oh how we all laughed. (And I plotted to bump off SIL immediately!)

People in their forties are often grandparents.

It's the kind of comment I avoid ever saying though. I stick to "lovely little girl/boy" with zero reference to the adult they happen to be with, just eye contact and smile. Saves bother and potential offence.

I've had this twice. To be fair one of them was a younger mother who is technically young enough to be my daughter.

I'm just distraught to think I look knackered enough to have gone through a child's adolescent phase. I still have that to come. I'm going to look fit for the grave aren't I?

I made my mum a granny at 42!

In had this once when ds1 was a baby me and dh were pushing his pram and a lady said it was nice that grandparents s were helping out I as 33 and dh was 31 !

When my mum divorced her arsehole husband he quickly remarried an awful woman. She had to attend a family do and was making polite conversation with the new wife and someone came over and said to my mum "hi X, long time no see, is this your mother?" Meaning the wife.

My mum was and she was

I don't care whether other people are gps in their 40s, I just think if the thought crosses people 's mind then erring on the side of caution would make a gp feel all young and happy rather than making some poor parent feel crap!

I think igggi is onto something, as I am the same age as you, with a toddler, and no-one's ever said anything like this to me (we live in south London) apart fom a pregnant teenager once on the train who said "mothers are getting older every day!" Now that did make me worry I looked haggard .

Southern that's funny :)

My dad was cockahoop when someone asked how much older than him his sister was in a way that sounded like they thought there was a big gap. He's the older one.

I haven't had this while my children were with me, but the window cleaner at work was adamant that he recognised me. He was convinced that I had been one of the mums from his daughter's class at primary school. Which would be fair enough (I'm 41) except that on further questioning, his daughter is now in her thirties!

I do! I do!

I once made this mistake on one of my first shifts in my first job, when I was 16. The woman was lovely about it and said not to worry, she had become a gran recently actually, but I felt terrible.

Since then I do not comment potential family relationships when commenting a child is lovely/cute etc.