AIBU for resenting the cultural expectation to be wearing a brand new beautiful outfit for every single bloody wedding? (once every 6-7 weeks)

[Pomegranate88]

FFS I can't afford £200 to spend on clothes that I can wear only once.

If you are seen wearing something you wore at the last wedding, everyone - well female guests - looks at you pityingly and ask you if things are 'ok at home'

There is this bizarre cultural expectation that you have to be in the latest, most luxurious dresses and you can never be seen twice in the same dress/outfit, the funny thing is- 90% of guests are ordinary people on ordinary salaries, how on earth are they funding all this?

I have maybe 5 beautiful outfits reserved for special occasions and I wear them to weddings on rotation, I am seriously treated like the poor relation because of this....It's surreal. My friends who are not from my culture don't come with me anymore as they are also tired of having to buy an entire outfit from head to toe.

Question: Do you buy a new outfit for every wedding?

You don't? It's yourself that's putting that expectation on you. No one else is. Just wear the same thing or add a different colour scarf each time

Wear the same outfit, get new friends.

Assume this is a non-Anglo culture as I don't think anyone would notice if you rotated round 5 outfits in Britain!

Just ignore them. You're there to celebrate your friends' commitment, not participate in a new season shoot.

I don't know if there is an expectation in my culture. One year I went to three weddings and wore the same dress. It was my 'going to a wedding dress'. I got nice comments each time.

It may just be your expectation that you 'need' a new dress every time. I wasn't bothered and, as I'm not Kate Middleton, I don't think anyone was judging me.

I'm sorry that your culture doesn't appreciate guests just attending weddings and insist on a new outfit every time.

Love to know what your culture is. Is it rude to ask?

No I don't (well I didn't use to when I went to weddings on a regular basis). I never felt a cultural expectation, and I couldn't care less if people noticed.
And I never ever spent £200 on one outfit, not even for my own wedding.

Don't know what culture you are from, but as long as I'm not wearing white or black, I simply choose clothes from my existing wardrobe. I have no intention of wasting money on something that will only be worn once - firmly believe in the "cost per wear" principle. I've never had any such comments as these, mainly because I don't see the same people at every wedding I go to, and also because I don't know anyone that rude.

I think it's also possible to vary an outfit by wearing it with different accessories, shoes, hair etc to get a very different look. My default dressing up dress is fitted, navy and plain, so is an excellent base for a wide variety of looks depending on the time of year, formality of the occasion etc.

erm, i have 3-4 wedding outfits, they have covered 20+ weddings. As long as you do'nt wear the same outfit to 3 weddings each on consecutive saturdays, then it'll be fine.

I used to feel I had to buy a new outfit for every occasion but now I feel no such pressure. I have a few frocks I know I feel good in and typically end up wearing on of those. None of them cost more than £100 either.

I might pop to the shops for a browse and pick up something if it takes my fancy but there is certainly no pressure.

Is it your social group? I can imagine some people I know would probably feel like you do

I don't. I bought some very fabulous shoes for a wedding (mumsnetter, no poem) and liked them so much I wore them to my own wedding.

It would be deeply weird for someone to thing there was something wrong with that.

It's sad when going to a wedding, which should be fun, becomes burdensome in any way. I can't believe you're the only one who feels like this?

The weddings I go to usually have completely different sets of guests, so the issue doesn't arise, and anyway I only go to max one wedding a year/two years now - it sounds as if you go to a lot.

Could you get together with some friends and relatives who feel similarly, and swap outfits around between you? (I'd struggle to do this because no one in my family is as fat as me! but maybe it would be an option for you? Or at least change parts of the outfits?)

Otherwise, just grit your teeth, say 'yes everything's fine thanks' and be sure that they are either going into debt or getting some other form of financial help to afford all that.

You have ill-mannered family/friends. Five outfits sounds good to me.

I have ten posh outfits that I wear on rotation and I refuse to buy a new outfit for every bloody wedding. I have 6 weddings to go to this year & I dont give two hoots what people think. I cant afford to spend 200+ on an outfit.

I have worn the same outfit to weddings/etc many times. If I have a few weddings the same year I will probably wear the same thing, and if it is from within the same group, I will recycle an outfit from a from previous occasion. I never spend more than £100 and will usually buy in the sales. If possible, I also buy something I can wear at work to get more wear out if it. I feel no pressure to buy new each time, or spend a lot. Actually I am finding that most occasions become more and more casual.

I have one nice dress (£80 ish from Monsoon, along with another 40 ish for a shrug and shoes from Sainsburys) that I've worn to 4 weddings and one posh party. I've only had compliments about the nice dress and no pitying looks.

I would be sending the pitying looks their way for their lack of common sense and independent thinking.

Don't understand where this 'can only wear a dress once pressure' comes from. Do people really buy something and only wear it only wear it once .

The last wedding I went to was my own 3 years ago, so would need a new frock.

If I had 5 outfits for a wedding I wouldn't

I know I don't have to but there is a lot of pressure to, it's so ingrained in me that I feel slightly embarrassed & sheepish to be seen wearing the same few outfits again and again, they are very specific looking clothes so not much room for customizing.

Garcia10 Love to know what your culture is. Is it rude to ask?

Not rude at all, I'm from a Northern Indian background but was raised in East Africa

I think it must depend on who you know. My friends wouldn't comment and I doubt that they would even notice. However I do know people (colleagues) who seem to live in your parallel universe.

Just wear that one icansee!

Men don't seem to buy new suits for every wedding, DH spent a few hundred pounds on a good fitting suit and buys a new tie to go to formal events.

and DH has got to wear his wedding attire (kilt and the accouterments) many times since the wedding. Not fair

well, the queen has been known to wear clothes more than once to occasions, to show solidarity with the economic crises, so tell them you ar e following her good example.

And Kate Middleton, steppemum. I still think it's ridiculous to wear things only once, no matter how rich you are. It's just so immorally wasteful.