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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for resenting the cultural expectation to be wearing a brand new beautiful outfit for every single bloody wedding? (once every 6-7 weeks)

39 replies

Pomegranate88 · 22/07/2014 22:06

FFS I can't afford £200 to spend on clothes that I can wear only once.

If you are seen wearing something you wore at the last wedding, everyone - well female guests - looks at you pityingly and ask you if things are 'ok at home' Hmm

There is this bizarre cultural expectation that you have to be in the latest, most luxurious dresses and you can never be seen twice in the same dress/outfit, the funny thing is- 90% of guests are ordinary people on ordinary salaries, how on earth are they funding all this?

I have maybe 5 beautiful outfits reserved for special occasions and I wear them to weddings on rotation, I am seriously treated like the poor relation because of this....It's surreal. My friends who are not from my culture don't come with me anymore as they are also tired of having to buy an entire outfit from head to toe.

Question: Do you buy a new outfit for every wedding?

OP posts:
PhaedraIsMyName · 22/07/2014 22:54

Do people really buy something and only wear it only wear it once

I really don't understand why anyone would do that. I probably spend quite a lot on individual items but I'm a firm believer in cost per wear. Even for cheaper things I buy things I know I will enjoy wearing, why wear them only once?

Seriouslyffs · 22/07/2014 22:56

Can you hire them?
Or go shopping with a similar sized friend who won't be going to the same weddings and buy and swap?

Fram · 22/07/2014 23:02

ebay- it's what most people do!

TKMaxx can be good too... though not if you're after a lengha Wink

mumminio · 23/07/2014 00:13

Could you rent outfits, tweak them, or join/start a "buy nothing"/swap group to share outfits and accessories?

deakymom · 23/07/2014 06:54

i buy outfits when they are cheap and put them to one-side to wear at weddings etc my best buy was a rummage sale dress bought for 20p still had the tag on it!

ebay it x

BIWI · 23/07/2014 06:57

Culture isn't about actual rules though! Make your own culture. And get some new friends ...

BIWI · 23/07/2014 06:58

And find ways to counter any passive aggressive, pitying questions. Something along the lines of "Oh, but I really love this dress and it's such a shame that I only get to wear it a few times a year" or, equally passive aggressive "but I love this dress - don't you?"

WildFlowersAttractBees · 23/07/2014 07:34

Yanbu OP. I buy a new outfit for each wedding I attend. I sometimes re-use them for christenings etc but depending on who is going I have often done the same and bought new for that too.

I do try to get some on sale.

My sister and I also share with each other if we are going to different events.

Sister77 · 24/07/2014 20:33

I had 20 weddings last year (I kid you not). I kept a note and 6 outfits saw me through. 3 weddings in 1 weekend. Thought I had done great....then I was tagged in the pics on fbook. It looks like I wore the same outfit ALL the time. The moral of the story.....buy new outfits (joke). I feel your pain my DH changes tie and he's ok but for a female, it's a nightmare.

Sister77 · 24/07/2014 20:36

BTW the fashion for cheap chiffon sarees with different blouses could see you through....just change jewellery. Also borrow...I can't because I don't want to wreck anyone's outfits with my sweat. I'm ok this year 7 weddings only!

BikeRunSki · 24/07/2014 20:39

I have on naice dress. Matching cardy, jacket and shoes. Has been to 17 weddings over about 7 years. Winter, summer, whatever. I have never had any comments about it.

museumum · 24/07/2014 20:41

I buy dresses for weddings that I can re-use for other semi-smart occasions like nice dinners out or even Xmas parties or Xmas day.
I go to one to two weddings a year at most and buy one or two dresses a year at most... some get given to charity or worn out or ruined with a stain or tear so I end up with 6-8 in my wardrobe at any time.

QuipFree · 24/07/2014 20:42

Most of my friends have just moved in together and never got married. I kind of resent them for not providing me with a nice party, but at least they've not cost me any money, either.

Isn't it all about basic dress, radical accessory changes??

ShineSmile · 24/07/2014 20:43

I've been wearing the same outfit for 5 years. I don't care what people think, and yes I'm from a culture like that too.

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