AIBU for resenting the cultural expectation to be wearing a brand new beautiful outfit for every single bloody wedding? (once every 6-7 weeks)

[Pomegranate88]

FFS I can't afford £200 to spend on clothes that I can wear only once.

If you are seen wearing something you wore at the last wedding, everyone - well female guests - looks at you pityingly and ask you if things are 'ok at home'

There is this bizarre cultural expectation that you have to be in the latest, most luxurious dresses and you can never be seen twice in the same dress/outfit, the funny thing is- 90% of guests are ordinary people on ordinary salaries, how on earth are they funding all this?

I have maybe 5 beautiful outfits reserved for special occasions and I wear them to weddings on rotation, I am seriously treated like the poor relation because of this....It's surreal. My friends who are not from my culture don't come with me anymore as they are also tired of having to buy an entire outfit from head to toe.

Question: Do you buy a new outfit for every wedding?

[ShineSmile]

I've been wearing the same outfit for 5 years. I don't care what people think, and yes I'm from a culture like that too.

[QuipFree]

Most of my friends have just moved in together and never got married. I kind of resent them for not providing me with a nice party, but at least they've not cost me any money, either.

Isn't it all about basic dress, radical accessory changes??

[museumum]

I buy dresses for weddings that I can re-use for other semi-smart occasions like nice dinners out or even Xmas parties or Xmas day.
I go to one to two weddings a year at most and buy one or two dresses a year at most... some get given to charity or worn out or ruined with a stain or tear so I end up with 6-8 in my wardrobe at any time.

[BikeRunSki]

I have on naice dress. Matching cardy, jacket and shoes. Has been to 17 weddings over about 7 years. Winter, summer, whatever. I have never had any comments about it.

[Sister77]

BTW the fashion for cheap chiffon sarees with different blouses could see you through....just change jewellery. Also borrow...I can't because I don't want to wreck anyone's outfits with my sweat. I'm ok this year 7 weddings only!

[Sister77]

I had 20 weddings last year (I kid you not). I kept a note and 6 outfits saw me through. 3 weddings in 1 weekend. Thought I had done great....then I was tagged in the pics on fbook. It looks like I wore the same outfit ALL the time. The moral of the story.....buy new outfits (joke). I feel your pain my DH changes tie and he's ok but for a female, it's a nightmare.

[WildFlowersAttractBees]

Yanbu OP. I buy a new outfit for each wedding I attend. I sometimes re-use them for christenings etc but depending on who is going I have often done the same and bought new for that too.

I do try to get some on sale.

My sister and I also share with each other if we are going to different events.

[BIWI]

And find ways to counter any passive aggressive, pitying questions. Something along the lines of "Oh, but I really love this dress and it's such a shame that I only get to wear it a few times a year" or, equally passive aggressive "but I love this dress - don't you?"

[BIWI]

Culture isn't about actual rules though! Make your own culture. And get some new friends ...

[deakymom]

i buy outfits when they are cheap and put them to one-side to wear at weddings etc my best buy was a rummage sale dress bought for 20p still had the tag on it!

ebay it x

[mumminio]

Could you rent outfits, tweak them, or join/start a "buy nothing"/swap group to share outfits and accessories?

[Fram]

ebay- it's what most people do!

TKMaxx can be good too... though not if you're after a lengha

[Seriouslyffs]

Can you hire them?
Or go shopping with a similar sized friend who won't be going to the same weddings and buy and swap?

[PhaedraIsMyName]

Do people really buy something and only wear it only wear it once

I really don't understand why anyone would do that. I probably spend quite a lot on individual items but I'm a firm believer in cost per wear. Even for cheaper things I buy things I know I will enjoy wearing, why wear them only once?

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

And Kate Middleton, steppemum. I still think it's ridiculous to wear things only once, no matter how rich you are. It's just so immorally wasteful.

[steppemum]

well, the queen has been known to wear clothes more than once to occasions, to show solidarity with the economic crises, so tell them you ar e following her good example.

[Passmethecrisps]

and DH has got to wear his wedding attire (kilt and the accouterments) many times since the wedding. Not fair

[ICanSeeTheSun]

Men don't seem to buy new suits for every wedding, DH spent a few hundred pounds on a good fitting suit and buys a new tie to go to formal events.

[Passmethecrisps]

Just wear that one icansee!

[Pico2]

I think it must depend on who you know. My friends wouldn't comment and I doubt that they would even notice. However I do know people (colleagues) who seem to live in your parallel universe.

[Pomegranate88]

I know I don't have to but there is a lot of pressure to, it's so ingrained in me that I feel slightly embarrassed & sheepish to be seen wearing the same few outfits again and again, they are very specific looking clothes so not much room for customizing.

Garcia10 Love to know what your culture is. Is it rude to ask?

Not rude at all, I'm from a Northern Indian background but was raised in East Africa

[ICanSeeTheSun]

The last wedding I went to was my own 3 years ago, so would need a new frock.

If I had 5 outfits for a wedding I wouldn't

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

I have one nice dress (£80 ish from Monsoon, along with another 40 ish for a shrug and shoes from Sainsburys) that I've worn to 4 weddings and one posh party. I've only had compliments about the nice dress and no pitying looks.

I would be sending the pitying looks their way for their lack of common sense and independent thinking.

Don't understand where this 'can only wear a dress once pressure' comes from. Do people really buy something and only wear it only wear it once .

[Sapat]

I have worn the same outfit to weddings/etc many times. If I have a few weddings the same year I will probably wear the same thing, and if it is from within the same group, I will recycle an outfit from a from previous occasion. I never spend more than £100 and will usually buy in the sales. If possible, I also buy something I can wear at work to get more wear out if it. I feel no pressure to buy new each time, or spend a lot. Actually I am finding that most occasions become more and more casual.

[MsVenus]

I have ten posh outfits that I wear on rotation and I refuse to buy a new outfit for every bloody wedding. I have 6 weddings to go to this year & I dont give two hoots what people think. I cant afford to spend 200+ on an outfit.