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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that DH has been invited to a wedding without me

426 replies

Homealoneagain · 21/07/2014 18:53

DH says it's normal these days not to always invite partners. We are in our late forties , been married 20 years. His younger female colleague has invited him to her wedding.

AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife AND the wedding involves a weekend away overseas and therefore some expense? I don't know her well, she is a colleague of his, but still ?
It may be to keep numbers and costs down, in which case why have the celebration overseas ?!

OP posts:
Picklepest · 21/07/2014 21:28

You think it's a bit odd but affair with either the bride (whose to know the wedding is real) or a guest (several work colleagues could be in collusion) is possible. Very sadly.

SirChenjin · 21/07/2014 21:28

I don't know - I think it's perfectly possible to have separate friends, interests etc and still feel a bit Confused that someone from work would invite you or your DH away for the weekend to attend their weekend.

Perhaps it's got more to do with how your perceive your work colleagues? With the exception of a couple of people in our team of 9 there is no-one I'd want to spend the weekend with . DH is the same. Maybe if you all got on really well with each other it would be different?

ChoosandChipsandSealingWax · 21/07/2014 21:29

Not joined at the hip, not the him!

MBT1987 · 21/07/2014 21:29

Notagainmun - not an issue. If OP's DH doesn't know the groom very well, then he would be a friend of the bride. Which he is, and the OP isn't.

ThatWasNice · 21/07/2014 21:30

I think it's ok. I would feel odd going to someone's wedding when I didn't know them.

Either you DH accepts the invite or he doesn't. I don't think its rude at all.

PiperRose · 21/07/2014 21:30

ChoosandChipandSealingWax You haven't answered my question.

lauriebear · 21/07/2014 21:32

IMO not unreasonable.

I think people can invite whoever they want to a wedding. I always followed the etiquette "No Ring No Bring", which I think is the norm nowadays.

Having said that a couple we invited to ours only invited me recently to theirs, I was pretty put off as it was a ways away and we have young children and I know no one else but them, I'd rather not be invited at all than have my SO snubbed at any wedding, but that's just me.

scottishmummy · 21/07/2014 21:32

No,you presume they have an attitude to marriage.You presume as wife,you must be included
whY does you being the wife mean yiu must attend events with him

lauriebear · 21/07/2014 21:38

OP not being unreasonable I meant, just to clarify. I'd think it was a bit of a dis if it were me.

scottishmummy · 21/07/2014 21:40

Why?i mean why can't an adult attend social do without their partner

Claybury · 21/07/2014 21:42

Not a just a social do ! It is a wedding ! A celebration of marriage !

PiperRose · 21/07/2014 21:43

ChoosandChipsand SealingWax I'm still waiting.

Bowlersarm · 21/07/2014 21:44

PiperRose, not sure why ChoosandChip should have to answer to you?

PiperRose · 21/07/2014 21:45

Because she said that it was maybe a 'class thing', and I wanted an explanation as to what she meant.

shouldacoulda · 21/07/2014 21:45

This wedding will involve:-

Lots of Drinking
Lots of Dancing
All staying at the same hotel I presume
Staying up late - more drinking,
Possible flirting, because of Drinking.

Mix it all together with a midlife crisis ripe man in his late 40's, away, overseas away from his wife and you have a

potential receipe for disaster. Note I said potential.

PiperRose · 21/07/2014 21:46

Shouldacoulda you have a terrible perception of men.

scottishmummy · 21/07/2014 21:46

It's a social function that one can attend without partner
It's really grim,that this causes consternation.an event you dont attend.but feel should as the wife

shouldacoulda · 21/07/2014 21:47

No, realistic.

daisychain01 · 21/07/2014 21:47

What seems ironic is the whole idea that this is a wedding, celebrating relationships but once the last bit of confetti is swept away and champers quaffed its seen as being weirdo and joined at the hip to want to enjoy being together. And that the "happy couple" go through their list of possible guests and disregard their coupledom

maybe it say something about their opinion of the status they are about to enter into!

If they are only work colleagues I'd probably organise a bit of a bash back in UK local to work, then it would just be an evening maybe some nice food and wine or something if money is that tight

PiperRose · 21/07/2014 21:47

Then you have met the wrong men.

Bowlersarm · 21/07/2014 21:48

Agree with you on that comment, Piper!

shouldacoulda · 21/07/2014 21:48

Possibly, piper. But I have seen it happen.

scottishmummy · 21/07/2014 21:49

If that's your reality shoulda,then you move in boorish,loose knickered set
Fortunately,it's not my reality
And I know if no one who'd behave like that

PhaedraIsMyName · 21/07/2014 21:50

shouldacoulda stop stirring. The OP hasn't suggested that is her concern.

Shakey1500 · 21/07/2014 21:50

shouldacoulda

Honestly?? There's potential everywhere if one is so cynical.

I am absolutely more than likely going to get rip roaringly drunk with my male friend, away from DH, overnight in a hotel and stay in the same room with him. I must tell DH now to get the divorce papers ready yes? Hmm