To be annoyed that DH has been invited to a wedding without me

[Homealoneagain]

DH says it's normal these days not to always invite partners. We are in our late forties , been married 20 years. His younger female colleague has invited him to her wedding.

AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife AND the wedding involves a weekend away overseas and therefore some expense? I don't know her well, she is a colleague of his, but still ?
It may be to keep numbers and costs down, in which case why have the celebration overseas ?!

I am laughing at the fact that because a young female has invited him to the wedding, she must be lusting after the husband or they are having some affair.

Who is to say this young female isn't marrying another women.

Sorry too many f's Haha

shouldacoulda - got it. Men should never approach younger women unless handcuffed to their wives, or else they're having an affair.

The OP doesn't know the bride! Is inviting complete strangers to your wedding a thing now? If so, my DP is in for a MASSIVE shock when Dave-I-met-once-while-drunk-on-tequila-in-Spain gives the first speech.

Given that there are about 15 of us who regularly socialise from my department and work and we've never met each others partners, it would be very weird to invite them to a social event.

And surely the point of a wedding is to celebrate the relationship between the bride and groom, not of every attached person they know???

Honestly people who think that just because you've said some vows and signed a book it means that you're only defined as one half of a couple get right on my tits!!!

Could you go away for a long weekend with him and then he could just go to the wedding and you could spend the rest of the time together and have a holiday, where is it anyway. Or have you got children to consider.

Who is paying for the wedding?

Are the guests expected to pay for their accommodation or is it being provided?

Whether it is odd or not doesn't really matter- what is odd is if he accepts when it is abroad and involves a weekend.
Probably they are having it abroad to cut down the guests and think there is more chance of him declining if it excludes partners.

Surely a major part of a wedding is that it celebrate Couples.
So, if a person is part of a couple, ie MARRIED - then it is the polite thing
to invite Both Of Them.

Pretty odd. To invite just a bunch of work colleagues to the night - yes fine. To invite one half of a partnership to a whole weekend away - odd. Because basically, the wedding will be only a small part of what becomes a weekend away with a big party of 'singles'.

I can see exactly why this would lead to an observer's next question being - who are the other work colleagues, and are they all particularly close? Mixed group? Um...

Worst case scenario - bride and friends, including your H, enjoy a group friendship dynamic that's close enough to be keen on a weekend away together without their partners. Which - um - doesn't necessarily sound very good. Especially if this is the first you've heard of it and you haven't met any of them before.

It would never cross my mind that dh or I would go to a wedding without the other. We agree that such an invitation would be declined without question. We do have weekends away separately sometimes but a wedding is the start of a marriage and to invite half of a happily married couple is just bizarre.

I don't think it's dodgy or suspicious as some posters are suggesting. I think some people need to get a grip.

look after the family single handed which is tough ! And aren't finances joint within a marriage

One weekend is tough?

No idea about your finances, ours aren't joint. If he can afford to go , don't see why he should n't if he wants to. Nor why you should not have a weekend away if you want.

Oh and yes, it's rude because it's really not the done thing. Weddings - generally a plus one, especially if it's inviting the person on a bloody weekend away!

It would never cross my mind that dh or I would go to a wedding without the other. We agree that such an invitation would be declined without question. We do have weekends away separately sometimes but a wedding is the start of a marriage and to invite half of a happily married couple is just bizarre.

This.
But of course, to say this is to be old fashioned and 'joined at the hip',
or could it be that the older couples are offering better advice?

Fucking hell ive got heaps of memories that are mine alone. Shock horror, some have even come from periods of time when ive been in committed relationships!

Maybe it is workmates fancying a bit of a jolly? Not sure what the bride's age really has to do with anything. Is it just the men I know that manage to be friends with younger women without mounting them or trying to???

OP, does your husband want to go?

Op why would you want to go to a strangers wedding

Because being together at a social gathering being all dressed up and sharing the event as a married couple is a lovely thing to do maybe??? Is it that difficult to understand why the OP doesn't exactly jump for joy at not going along - even if it's the evening part or whatever

I thought those foreign wedding were generally meant to be cheaper anyway...

Do you know what, if you are married, your finances are joint. Whether you like it or not. One of you in financial trouble? You both are. That's your bill to pay? Well - technically no, it's both of yours.

That's just the way it is. Even if you keep separate accounts and split things in a format to suit you - you are joint, financially and legally.

If you don't think so - just try divorcing

You're saying that a lot of the colleagues are "without partners" but do you know that for absolutely sure, OP?

Could some of them have, I don't know, maybe casual boyfriends/girlfriends, be dating someone, and could that be why the bride is thinking wow, if I invite X's DW I'm going to have to invite the other 8 guys dates too?

Shouldacoulda seriously? I wen to a wedding a year ago, I was single. I had a plus one invite and opted not to take anyone. Did I really miss the bit where everyone around me felt that the happy couple had taken time out of their day to celebrate everybody else's marriages?

It ups to bride and groom whom they invite,perhaps they're on tight budget
You can't be serious they have uk location so you can attend?
Your husband isn't glued to you,he can go away socially

or could it be that the older couples are offering better advice?

I'm one of the older couples. I don't see what the problem is.

Op why would you want to go to a strangers wedding

Because being together at a social gathering being all dressed up and sharing the event as a married couple is a lovely thing to do maybe??? Is it that difficult to understand why the OP doesn't exactly jump for joy at not going along - even if it's the evening part or whatever

Well said.

If it had been my DH he would have shown me the invitation and said he wouldn't be going, but would send them a card and wedding pressie

Also in my group of workmates we have a weekend away together every few months. No partners as we don't know each others partners. We've pretty much all managed to just go out, have dinner and get a bit drunk without anything more happening beyond a bit of drunken banter or flirting.

I can't think of much I'd like to do less really than go to the wedding of people I don't know!