To be annoyed that DH has been invited to a wedding without me

[Homealoneagain]

DH says it's normal these days not to always invite partners. We are in our late forties , been married 20 years. His younger female colleague has invited him to her wedding.

AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife AND the wedding involves a weekend away overseas and therefore some expense? I don't know her well, she is a colleague of his, but still ?
It may be to keep numbers and costs down, in which case why have the celebration overseas ?!

Ask him to see the invitation and call his bluff

This sounds like a load of poppycock to get away and have some "fun"

I think that's really rude. I would never not invite a partner. It's actually incredibly disrespectful.

Again of the bride and groom are being "rude" to someone they have never met or wil probably never meet again I'm sure they will get over it for 80 quid a head and anonymous people in the wedding album.

Just say that you and the children will make a weekend of it with him and amuse yourselves while he attends.

I wouldn't be miffed since I don't know her, but as long as he's cool with me then taking a nice holiday with a friend, costing a similar amount, it'd be fine.

Has the op actually seen the invitation? I for one would want to see it before any decisions about the use of family money were made . If it turns out to be genuine then I would be asking DH if he thought it was an appropriate use of our money. If he said it was then I would want to go too and have a holiday , even if I didn't get to go to the wedding or I would want a few days away abroad with my friends too .
People are perfectly entitled to ask who they like to their weddings but I would have thought that good sense alone would have made the future bride think carefully about inviting her colleague without his partner .

I think this is slightly " fishy " and sounds more like a man who fancies a few days away from domesticity . Call his bluff and do a trade off re.a holiday away with the " girls" .

I think there's a lot of suspicion on this thread! I've been to weddings where DP wasn't invited, when they were colleagues of mine and he didn't know them, or barely knew them. I don't think it's weird, really; I don't think people should be obligated to invite a plus one.

Just have a nice weekend with the family at home, would be my advice.

Yanbu.

A lot of people on this thread have said that it is OK for the bride not to invite the plus one as it is quite costly for them, quotes of £50-80 a head, yet think it is perfectly OK for the DH to spend lots of family money to actually go to the wedding.

Light, well, it's up to everyone individually how they manage their budget, isn't it? The couple getting married are allowed to spend what they want. The OP hasn't said that there will be financial pressure if he does go; although of course it's up to both of them to agree whether or not he should spend the money.

DH is going. With a group of colleagues. Nothing to be suspicious about. I just think it's a shame not to invite partners and unconventional, to the people who say I don't know the B well I would say wouldn't it be nice to get to know each other given DH has a good enough relationship to be invited to her wedding ?

"Incredibly disrespectful"

Why? I honestly don't understand.

She doesn't know OP but works with and knows well the DH. He doesn't have to go does he? Why is it "incredibly disrespectful" not to have invited his wife she's never met?

I think that it's odd OP wasn't invited.

Mind you I also think that it's odd to bother to go tbh.

So he is going then OP?

I also think it is odd that the DH is bothering to go, I think I would have made polite apologies, but then everyone is different and I am old

i think that I think it is odd because in our house it would be me that would want to go to a wedding and dress up and suchlike, DH would only go because he felt he had to, and if this had been our situation DH would probably be glad I hadn't been invited as it would provide a good excuse for him not to go.

My DD and her DP (obviously) are getting married abroad next year. Their work shuts down for a month every year.

He has invited his co workers, lads aged 20-30.

Some of them will have partners, who aren't invited.

That doesn't stop them going on the trip and I don't understand why some on here thinks it does.

Most have said that they are happy for this to be their yearly holiday, so will come. The wedding will be one afternoon out of a week.

The hotel is AI and the only art of the day that their OH/Children can't be at, is the ceremony and wedding breakfast, because numbers are limited and we have lots of family going.

As a group we will take up at least a third of the hotel.

I don't see the hardship in not being around your OH for 4 hours.

Are we supposed to drop family so that people can attend with their OH's and children?

We couldn't fit everyone in, it just isn't possible.

All of my Son in law to be co workers are happy with this, it will be a good holiday. We are already making it clear that there will be babysitting on offer, from myself and other experienced Mums who are happy to forgo drinking.

If the OH is being told that they cannot go, at all, then that's different.

Similar here, Light

I doubt that either of us could be bothered to go abroad for a colleagues wedding tbh though!

TBH I don't really think a wedding is the best time or place to get to know someone better; not when the 'someone' is one of the wedding couple, anyway!

YABU. I don't think it's weird at all! You've never met them, why should you be invited?

YABU - it's a work thing so she's just inviting her work colleagues, nothing wrong with that. If it was family that would be different.

I wouldn't expect my dh to go without me though, he'd respectfully decline.

He has invited his co workers, lads aged 20-30. Some of them will have partners, who aren't invited.

I think this is a bit different to couples who have been married 20 years, though!

Pretty sure that etiquette says married couples are a 'social unit', at least when it comes to formal occasions like a wedding. I agree that couples need not be joined at the hip (am single & v independent myself), but this is just rude.

YANBU.

I don't understand why the DH is bothering to go as obviously from the undertones of OP and username, OP is not happy.

Very strange...

Odd that there was no +1 issued and personally would be a bit miffed, as I think it's the norm and the polite thing to do to invite partners regardless if the bride knew them! so I don't think YABU.
On the subject of attending events without partners tho, I'm a bit of a wimp and prefer to go to these things with DH.
If it was Dh who was invited without me, and in fact this has happened with a couple who did not have the money to be inviting every ones plus ones, I would be more than happy for him to go.
If I were invited without DH he would be bloody delighted. Especially if he didn't know the couple involved and would be totally fine with me attending without him.

Koala so a couple who have been married a year is more important than a couple who have been together for10 but never married?