To be annoyed that DH has been invited to a wedding without me

[Homealoneagain]

DH says it's normal these days not to always invite partners. We are in our late forties , been married 20 years. His younger female colleague has invited him to her wedding.

AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife AND the wedding involves a weekend away overseas and therefore some expense? I don't know her well, she is a colleague of his, but still ?
It may be to keep numbers and costs down, in which case why have the celebration overseas ?!

Of course you can usual, I'm a partner too.

YANBU vote from me and YANBU vote from my husband. He was more shocked by your post than I was and thought it was very weird. His comment was, why would you know someone well enough to have them to your full wedding day, yet don't know their wife?

Neither of us have ever experienced the no partner invite to weddings. We are clearly past it if this is a modern thing, and so must all the people we know whose weddings we've been to, even where one of us hasn't known the B or G.

We are definitely not joined at the hip either.

I work with people I know well and I've never met their partners,again they're not defined by their partner

It is daft that pp are saying because the op is Married then this is not appropriate. Saying you are married means you must be automatically invited.

Does this mean people who have lived with their partners for years and years are not seriously in a relationship?

I love how people can can meet and run into marriage and then suddenly other relationships are not as strong.

(Sorry I realise this post excludes those who are not in relationships)

I would argue that you don't really know them that well if you only know them professionally and they've not included you in their personal life. Maybe there's a reason they've kept you at a distance?

*YANBU vote from me and YANBU vote from my husband. He was more shocked by your post than I was and thought it was very weird. His comment was, why would you know someone well enough to have them to your full wedding day, yet don't know their wife?

Neither of us have ever experienced the no partner invite to weddings. We are clearly past it if this is a modern thing, and so must all the people we know whose weddings we've been to, even where one of us hasn't known the B or G.

We are definitely not joined at the hip either.*

Shakesbooty, its good to get your husband's pov as well.

Thanks shoulda I will tell him in the morning as he's gone to bed. His first contribution to MN AIBU

I think it'd be a different situation if wedding wasn't abroad. If it was local would there be an issue that the op wasn't invited?

I'm not sure I'd be ok with dh going to a work colleagues overseas wedding on his own. A friends yes (he's had to do that before when 2 friends of ours married on the same day in different places. I went to one he to the other) but a colleague? Not sure.

Saying that do think it's strange that there's the expectation for the invite.

You could argue that not meeting the partner,means I don't know them.id expect you to
Given I don't define myself via partner,and many colleagues don't either.we know each other v well
Knowing someone isn't cemented when you meet the partner over canapés

Love the "it's a great opportunity to meet work colleagues partners who we obviously hear a lot about" line.

Errmm and here I was thinking it was a specific couples wedding. Silly me. Can you imagine getting married and a bunch of people turning up you don't know who view it as a chance to network.

I Always snigger when a poster wheels out their dp, and the partners says dis and dat
Frankly you could ask the cat,same stays as my partner says..as if he's the arbitrar
doesn't make any difference.I'm not going to revise my opinion cause someone man piped up

Hahahahahaha got to love MN AIBU. Yes we all know lots of people at work whose partners we haven't met it is totally normal. Have they all invited you to their full wedding day with no plus one? Every single one? No, didn't think so.

Snigger away scottishmummy, people discuss with the the people they live with.

discuss... 'things' was the missing word

Yes,but to the post it on mn,it's all very man has spoken

In the context of this thread, it's pretty apt. Or ironic. Or something, that's for sure.

i can understand not inviting children but partners are always invited

i think that is really mean

In your life maybe scottishmummy. In mine it is just two people discussing something and I've posted the outcome of that discussion. It could have easily have been a discussion with my mum, my sister or a friend. You are bringing your own agenda to something that isn't there.

And you brought your husband

Your point being?

Or a completely different suggestion. Could he be having an affair with someone at work and the bride did not know he had a partner. Unlikely just popped in my head as someone where I work did this.
If it is a close team that all get in well maybe the bride thought it would change the atmosphere of the group if partners were invited. Work parties are always very different when partners come. Not in a bad way just different.

How do you make the leap to affair because wife not invited,it's a bit sinister

Yes a total leap. I just remembered it happened with a guy at my work last year. The bride sent a wedding invite to him and his OW! Lucky for him she gave them out at work.