To be annoyed that DH has been invited to a wedding without me

[Homealoneagain]

DH says it's normal these days not to always invite partners. We are in our late forties , been married 20 years. His younger female colleague has invited him to her wedding.

AIBU to feel I should be invited, given I am is wife AND the wedding involves a weekend away overseas and therefore some expense? I don't know her well, she is a colleague of his, but still ?
It may be to keep numbers and costs down, in which case why have the celebration overseas ?!

YANBU,

Poor etiquette.

I had no idea I was a cool wife, just for not insisting on doing everything with dh, even when it's him and his work colleagues. Gosh.

You know, women like that exist too.

This thread would be the same if OP were a husband being left behind.

I was replying to shoulda not the op Garlic, sorry if that wasn't clear.

Quite a few people have mentioned that a wedding is a celebration of marriage. I've honestly never associated a wedding with this. Just a celebration a particular couples marriage.

Hey edam, it seems I'm cool too, although not a wife.

Maybe we should start a club?

11yo ds tells me I don't know what cool is, not sure he'd be convinced by 'someone on MN says people like me are cool'...

Thinking back to the last wedding I attended, the groom would have had to exclude another friend had he been compelled to invite both me and my partner. Or to have excluded me, had he invited the other friend's wife as well as inviting me.

What would have been rude would have been either of us getting in a piss with the bride and groom for having the audacity to invite people they actually know and like at the expense of someone they'd barely met.

Not that the op appears to be in a piss with the happy couple.

Oh and the 'coolwife' insult is cringeworthy. So, some people want to do everything as couple/family - as long as your partner and children are happy with that, then that's, er, cool. Others are happy to have time away from partners/family. That is also absolutely fine, assuming partners and children aren't left at home pining and penniless.

Where the fuck did 'coolwife' come from, anyway? It's embarrassing.

Yes, let's start a club. The first entry requirement must surely be able to see oneself as an individual.

Surely the first rule is no-one talks about the cool wives/partners/girlfriends/single people who are fine with not being given a plus one on a wedding invite club.

Bit of a hefty acronym though...

Will the secret sign be a Fonzie style thumbs up? Coz we're, you know, cool?

I have no idea where 'cool wife' comes from and even less idea why it's an insult, but it's bandied around here constantly by people who seem to think their dp will drop trou at the mere sight of another woman.

Yes! Lewis Love. It.

And the password can be 'niiiiice' a la that jazz aficionado bloke from the Fast Show.

I don't know about the Cool Wives' Club. However, if it's anything like the movie First Wives' Club, I'll pass. That was a load of crap.

Is the second rule of Cool Wives' Club that you don't talk about Cool Wives' Club?

I'm loving this idea.

I'm not the wife.and yes I do see myself as a distinct individual.im not defined by dp
We have mutual interest,we have separate interest.i/wedon't attend all things as couple
If cool is that I'm not glued to a man,and don't have a strangled notion of etiquette I'll take that label

I feel we may have high jacked this thread. Would I BU to start a cool wives thread. Not a thread about a thread but inspired by one or will MNHQ send me to the naughty step?

It's downright rude to not invite someone and their long term partner.

Re colleagues weddings, we as a work gang have sometimes gone alone by choice, even though partners were invited. Other times & next week, we are taking partners. It's a great opportunity to meet our colleagues other halves who obviously we hear a lot about.

My Dh has nights out/trips away with his friends. As do I. These are restrained due to finances & family commitments.

However we have never been asked to a wedding on our own in 12 years. Never.

Those who say it's about numbers etc, if you can't afford to ask a plus one, don't ask full stop.

It's not cool,it's not hip.i suppose it's the no I'm not glued to him club
Notions of being wife,strangled etiquette around marriage.really typify what I dislike about marriage
Why I never wanted it be married,this notion of being defined by coupledom.and cool if I chose not to be defined by my personal life. ISO rarely called cool,that I'll take it.but please lose the wife bit,wife isn't cool

YANBU, I think it's rude to not invite OP especially as the wedding is abroad so will involve extra expense.