Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that at a buffet you can take as much as you want

487 replies

Edenviolet · 20/07/2014 18:17

Went out today with dsis. We were starving by lunchtime and there was a huge buffet where we went (hotel), it was included in the price so we took loads as were hungry.
Noticed a couple of women really staring as we loaded our plates up and also when we took lots of the mini desserts and as we walked past one loudly said " I can't believe they are actually going to eat all that"
They kept staring at us and giving us funny looks.

Made me wonder if we really did take too much, surely as we had paid and were hungry it was ok ? I felt a bit judged as they clearly thought we were greedy

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 00:04

Bad manners to take so much - equally bad manners to comment.

Not bad manners to take what you want and will eat (as the OP did).

mommy2ash · 21/07/2014 00:08

what kind of starvation diets are people on that they think what the op ate could last time two or three days?

sure it was a big meal but not three days worth surely and I say that as someone who is frequently teased about her small appetite.

plinkyplonks · 21/07/2014 00:10

YANBU - Some people are just rude and judgemental.

NotBatman · 21/07/2014 00:10

DH and his friends got kicked out of a buffet as teens because they were eating too much. Teenagers eat a ton of food. Who woulda thought?

I always take a smallish amount because I hate my foods touching. So they're all very carefully arranged in smallish portions, and I spend longer than usual making sure the food is in just the right place. That gets me weird looks.

Really, people should mind their own business at buffets. You obviously went to one because you were hungrier than a "normal" portion.

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 00:12

I genuinely dont get the angst about this!

The OP paid, she took, she ate. End of.

She didnt clear the place out and then chucked 80% of it in the bin! She was hungry, she took what she wanted and ate it all, then she paid her bill.

Just because she isnt a fattie (like me!) doesnt mean she has an eating disorder. She asked whether SWBU to be pissed off at someone commenting, no she wasnt. As I said above, it doesnt matter what size she is, no one should comment.

Oh and just because you tell MN that you only eat a thimbleful of hummus and 2 pieces of cucumber for your lunch, it doesnt make it true.

NotBatman · 21/07/2014 00:20

Oh and just because you tell MN that you only eat a thimbleful of hummus and 2 pieces of cucumber for your lunch, it doesnt make it true.

This is the internet! No one lies on here! I'm not sure I like your attitude. Angry

Seriously though, isn't the entire point of a buffet to get an unhealthy amount of food, shove it in your face, and then wallow in regret later? I have yet to meet a person who does not get 2nds or 3rds at a buffet.

Is it odd to load a plate? Well, to me it is, but that's because I'm neurotic I hate food touching so I end up going 4-5 times with small plate portions each time. I didn't realize people actually watch others eat at restaurants. They must not have very much going on in their lives if they're concerned about a stranger's eating habits.

I get excited about large desserts and have unashamedly eaten a full cheesecake in front of god and everyone. :)

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 00:33

This is the internet! No one lies on here!

Sorry Blush I forgot that.

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 00:35

My mother invented the cheesecake sandwich and would kill me if she knew I was putting it on the internet!

It is a slice of cheesecake with a digestive biscuit on top and yes, it is delish!

Bedtime1 · 21/07/2014 04:29

Your like the girl From willy wonka and the chocolate factory!

bragmatic · 21/07/2014 06:16

I don't watch anyone at the buffet. But if I'm getting my portion and someone shuffles past with a towering mound on their plate i can't help but notice. it reminds me of pigs at a trough.

It's a buffet! You can go back for more.

Glastokitty · 21/07/2014 06:32

This thread reminds of the time I went to a buffet with my mum. We watched a couple carefully layer their plates with every variety of cold meats they could find, they must have had pounds and pounds on each plate. Then they went up and did the same with the salads, and desserts, we had no idea how they could eat it all. Until we saw them carefully slide most of the cold meats into a carrier bag, same with the salads and desserts! When we were leaving they got into a car with four kids and two dogs waiting for them! Now that's is taking the piss!

ChocolateWombat · 21/07/2014 09:30

I agree that one of the key points of a buffet is for people to have a big old feed. Most people there will be doing the same.
Whether it is right to eat loads is a separate issue. Whether it is right to eat loads occasionally is a separate issue.

OPS had paid for unlimited food. She has accepted upthread,that piling lots of plates high wasnt the right way to go and That in future she will have 1 plate and return to the buffet for more food if she wants to. Hence the issue of manners regarding piling on the food and possibly denying others the creme brûlées is dealt with.

For those of you who don't like to see gluttony, clearly going to one of these eat all you can buffets is not the right outing for you. These places thrive on people pigging out. Personally, I think it is okay occasionally, although the idea of it for 2 weeks on an all inclusive holiday makes me feel ill. However if that is what people enjoy, they have paid for it and as long as it is not wasted and they abide by the rules of the restaurant (1 plate at a time) and their eating isn't limiting availability for others, I think it is all fine.

This thread is one where the OP has recognised why the people stared and commented. She has said she will behave differently in future. I don't think there is anything else she should be criticised for. In fact, unlike many who post on MN, she asked a genuine question and was then willing to,listen to what people said. Sounds like a win-win thread.

OnlyLovers · 21/07/2014 09:35

'Doesn't mean you will stay that way hedgehog' and
'it makes me laugh when people think they can eat loads and get away with it and then it hits them when they get to a certain age'

are a really spiteful couple of comments.

Sirzy · 21/07/2014 10:45

Why are they spiteful?

It is often the case that "I can eat anything" type people DO find when they get older that changes.

and of course a bad diet is a bad diet irrespective of your size anyway.

OnlyLovers · 21/07/2014 10:50

Because they imply that the person saying them is just waiting and longing for the OP to become fat. They sound envious and gloating; why would you 'laugh' when you see someone gaining weight that they didn't expect to?

The OP doesn't have a 'bad diet'; she ate a lot on this one occasion but tells us she eats well most of the time.

Although it's none of our business how she eats anyway.

Sirzy · 21/07/2014 10:53

Its not envious and gloating though its true. It is how things happen as the metabolism changes as you get older.

Its non of our business how anyone eats, yet people still judge and to be fair if the OP CHOOSES to post the details on a public forum called "am I being unreasonble" then really you have to expect that people will pass comment.

OnlyLovers · 21/07/2014 11:10

We'll have to disagree on that because I don't believe it to be a blanket truth for everyone. Lots of people stay the shape and weight they are into later life.

And even if it is sometimes true of some people, these are still nasty comments to make about someone who just had a blow-out at a buffet once.

As I said earlier, there seems to be a double standard at work: there are loads of threads along the lines of 'oooh I'm so naughty, I just ate a whole packet of biscuits/whole cake/tub of ice cream' and no one piles on to go on about how it will catch up with them and they will laugh when it does.

And it IS spiteful to say that it makes you laugh when someone puts on weight, and to snipe at the OP and say she might not always be the weight she is now.

I do understand and expect that people will pass comment, although thank you for the patronising suggestion that I might not; but her question was actually 'Is it OK to take as much as you want at a buffet' and 'Were these people being judgy?', not 'Please come on and take pleasure in telling me I'll probably get fat later.'

Bogeyface · 21/07/2014 11:31

I agree with Only, it smacks of jealousy to me. The implication is "I cant eat what I like and I hate the fact that you can, so I hope you get fat!"

Beautifullymixed · 21/07/2014 11:32

chocolatewombat has summed up the thread very nicely indeed. The OP has been very gracious in spite of some unnecessary digs about greed,rudeness and weight.

She asked a question, had it answered and accepted responses. She had also had a lot of support from posters, including myself who feel it's none of my business who eats what at a buffet, as long as table manners are shown and food is left for others. The OP ate her meal,enjoyed it and paid for it.

Job done.

It's totally unnecessary for posters to still jump in slating her,mentioning 'pigs at a trough' and the spoilt girl from Charlie and the chocolate factory. How fucking rude can you get Shock

Hope you're ok OP

Original poster
Edenviolet · 21/07/2014 11:42

I'm fine Thankyou but I'm going to leave this thread now as I feel the issue has been resolved and I don't want to get drawn in to defending myself against unnecessary comments from some posters.

OP posts:
Beautifullymixed · 21/07/2014 11:56

Thanks for you OP. Well done on your calmness and politeness when others forgot their manners.

Agree that the matter has been resolved nicely.

I hope you enjoy your next meal out (buffet or not) and take no notice of anyone around you.
I still feel like a buffet meal myself Smile

OnlyLovers · 21/07/2014 12:08

Thanks OP. Sorry for the horrid comments you've received on here.

Goldenyellow · 21/07/2014 12:45

Thanks Sirzy

I am not longing for anyone to get fat!!!

I don't hate the fact that people can eat what they like - it doesn't bother me. You got it all wrong Bogey

Like Sirzy said metabolism changes. Bodies change - Hedgehog just kept insisting she will always stay that shape. You can't make assumptions

NickiFury · 21/07/2014 12:54

I go to Abu Dhabi quite a lot. At the weekends the hotels have champagne brunch buffets, usually starting at 12 and finishing about half three. We all go and stuff ourselves silly for the entire afternoon and it's most enjoyable.

I can't stand the Shock on here about a few plates of food. Who cares? As long as there's enough for everyone else and they're not holding you down and stuffing it in your mouth then it's really nothing to comment on. Get a life!

OnlyLovers · 21/07/2014 13:03

'Get a life!'

Here's to that, Nicki!

And Golden, where in the OP's posts does she ask for opinions on her size and whether nor not she'll maintain it? And why the eff does it matter to you or to all the others huffing about how much and what the OP eats?

Swipe left for the next trending thread