to help get over my fear of ghost's

[emms1981]

I've been reading the spooky posts on here. Knew it was a bad idea but keep getting drawn to it. I find the stories very interesting but also scary.
I've never seen a ghost but I hate going in dark rooms or being alone.
I live in quite a new house so feel safe, my dh works most evenings and I know when the floorboards creek its either one of the boys sneeking out of bed or my fat cat.
I visit my dad at weekends and when the house is full I feel fine but its an old house and don't know the "history" eg I know a few years ago the house over the road the single man who lived there killed himself I don't know how I knew he died but the killing himself part I only found out last year and after he passed one of the lights at the top of the house kept coming on and this freaked me out, so I know if a house is old there are bound to be things that have happed in it.

I've been staying at my dads this weekend to look after his dog just me and my boys and during the day I'm fine but at night shit myself. No reason to I haven't heard or seen anything but couldn't sit alone in the front room for long and went to bed shortly after the kids. My dad has always said the house is unlucky he's lived here since 1996 but I think that's just because my mum left him.
I wish I knew how to get over the fear. The bathroom has a mirror over the sink and I kept thinking I could see things but I think it was just the trousers hanging up behind me or my hair moving. I know it sounds silly but I honestly don't think I could live in an old house out of choise.

my fear of ghost's

I'm still trying to get rid of my fear of superfluous apostrophes :(

I don't necessarily think it's ghosts the OP's afraid of. Being nervous in a dark space in a strange place when you're on your own is a perfectly normal reaction I'd say, and a pretty primal and instinctive one too. Our modern minds just visualise that instinct as ghosts - that's how we realise or "rationalise" it.

I don't like being on my own in the dark (or with lights on) at work when I'm closing down. When I have to turn the lights off to do the alarm I sprint for that bloody door every evening! It's not even remotely rational, but when you get that horrid spiky feeling at the back of your neck your brain isn't best engaged. I'm perfectly happy in the pitch black in my own house by the way - it's not dark that bothers me.

As to whether ghosts are real or not, I've never seen one myself, and I used to work in historic houses! That being said, there's a lot of stuff out there that science hasn't yet explained fully. Maybe there are and maybe there aren't. I don't know. I wouldn't stake my reputation on saying they're real just yet though!

A chap at a playgroup I used to run was haunted by a man in a trenchcoat, the dad said he thought the bloke was in 50's clothes and used to walk across his landing day or night.

On the subject of lying/deluding oneself....

I remember reading one of the many ghosty threads on here, about a family who frequently saw a ghost of a man walk round the side of the house and then disappear into thin air on reaching the back door. It was a pretty common occurrence iirc.

Someone mentioned having a camera handy for when the ghost visited again, which would make sense wouldn't it? But the poster in question had all sorts of excuses reasons why the family hadn't delved more deeply into investigating the phenomenon.

I mean, if numerous people had seen a ghost vanish into thin air at your house, you'd do ANYTHING wouldn't you?! Hire CCTV....anything.

The fact that the people in question always seem to display an odd lack of curiosity about their haunting seems to suggest that when it comes to re telling their experiences, a lot of exaggerating goes on ;)

Some of the posts on this thread are deeply ignorant about the reasons why people might 'see' ghosts or figures or disturbing images. It is not about attention-seeking at all, there is a group of sleep disturbances which lead people to have hallucinations. About 30% of the population has had at least one in their lifetime (hence why lots of people don't see such things and then dismiss the experiences of others). One of the most commonest things to see is a figure/person and the person feels awake when they see them. There's been loads of threads on this over the years on MN, I'm surprised no one has mentioned them (hypnopompic and hypnogogic hallucinations)

We are also programmed (psychologically/cognitively) to see faces and humans out out the data our eyes encounter, which is why you catch a glance of something and it seems human, or you see that dressing-gown as a figure at first sight.

I don't interpret these as 'ghosts' but neither am I dismissive of people who have different experiences from myself.

OP - whilst I am unsure about the existence of ghosts, I am absolutely resolute in the knowledge that you are in need of some help with grammar and punctuation, whether it be in this life or the next.

"a group of sleep disturbances which lead people to have hallucinations"
You mean dreams. I have them vividly, and often!

Yes whenever I read a ghostly anecdote that starts "I woke one night" or "I was just dozing off" or similar I tend to just switch off

It's a monumental waste of your time and energy fretting over something that doesn't exist.

belief in ghosts suggests an inherent lack of intelligence and logic.

Ghosts don't exist.

Except for the one on your dad's mirror.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAW!

I've had a few odd experiences - but I don't believe in ghosts or the supernatural. I think our minds are great at playing tricks on us, or interpreting natural things in this way.

When I was a child I opened my eyes in the middle of the night and saw a red devils face hovering over me. Was terrified of the dark for years. Had to sleep with a small blanket over my head to 'hide' me. I realise now of course that I'd just woken, it was dark, something was happening physically in my eyes in the same way that if you shut your eyes very hard then open them you get visual disturbances. I get visual disturbances when my eyes are tired. It was just a weird red blobby shape my mind turned into that.

I had a primary school camp in screaming hysterics all night after I saw a something. (sorry teachers and parents). When I was about 9, with an overactive imagination, and had been scared recently by the Carry on Screaming film.

About 10 years ago I was alone in the house and clear as anything heard someone shout my name in my ear. I found out this is not an uncommon form of auditory hallucination and can be caused by stress, too much caffeine etc.

My family has a photo of a 'ghost' we all laugh about. It's a very obvious man's face with beard, rather like a cavalier, appearing in a family photo. It appears where there is some clear plastic sheeting. It's got to be just a weird effect of plastic folds and light and shadow. But it looks perfect.

Other people might believe these things are supernatural. I don't. So I am very skeptical of those who believe they have seen ghosts etc. Probably similar circumstances. If you want it to be a ghost, it is, to you. If you don't want it to be a ghost, it isn't.

I misread the title as "help me get over my fear of goats". This thread is much less interesting that I first thought.

I was going to come in with the suggestion of CBT, but you can't really expose yourself gradually to ghosts.

Why do ghosts scare you? Is it a deeper anxiety of "What happens when we die?" or fear of the unknown? Or is it just a "Eek, I don't want to see scary things"?

I'd think of worst case scenario. You see a ghost, what will happen? You'll get really scared, and that's about it. They can't hurt you.

Also, if it's getting in the way of enjoyment of life, see a GP. Anxiety very rarely makes sense, and it's very treatable. You don't have to live in fear like this. :)

I get spooked and scared really easily but I don't believe in ghosts.

Why do they only make things cold, creak, knock, open doors and move stuff?
Why are they only in old houses?
Why don't we see them all the time?
Why is it only certain people who are ghosts?

I once saw the 'ghost' of my Grandmas cat jump up and sit next to me. After 14 years of her doing it my mind just saw it happen again.

While its good to be youthful, I'd expect more of an adult OP. This is all a bit silly-girly for me. Especially when you showed yourself more than capable of being quite sarcastic to me when pointing out ghosts don't exist. If you can be that snippy, you can get over your supposed fear of ghosts. More likely to be anxiety about being alone IMHO.

Read some of Richard Wiseman's work on the paranormal. He basically debunks woo with rational explanations. The human brain is far more interesting than 'ghosts'.

Any spooky stuff is conjured up by our own minds. That's a it is. If you feel creeped out and jumpy, it's your brain being anxious. Nothing more.

Can recommend a Derren Brown too. He did a show on the paranormal, specifically people who claimed to talk to the dead and that really finished off any doubts I had left about it possibly being real.

*that is it.

I'm more scared of Derren Brown TBH.

Fear of ghost's what?

a group of sleep disturbances which lead people to have hallucinations"
You mean dreams. I have them vividly, and often!

No, a hallucination is a waking experience, so you see the figure or whatever as completely real when you are awake but unable to move (sleep paralysis). It's extremely disturbing and I'm sure what lies behind a lot of ghost stories as well as people worrying they have mental health problems- seeing images/apparitions when awake is something you don't tend to mention to people in case they think you are mad or they laugh at you as has been demonstrated quite adequately on this thread

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

Are any of you ghost supporters going to answer my question about why people (including the OP) feel safer once in bed? I know I often get the frights at night and jump into bed like a kid, but I'm OK once I'm there. If it was actually a ghost/nasty under bed thingy making me feel odd, why would me lying down stop it?

Because if you are lying down with the covers practically over your head you won't feel clammy hands if a ghost happens to be passing by or an icy breeze. I don't want to believe in ghosts but I can't rule them out.

Thenapoleonofcrime - I know all about hypnagogic hallucinations...they are pretty common, and I have had them on occasion for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I see a man standing by the bedside, sometimes a spider sitting on my pillow...so far from being 'deeply ignorant' about it, I am well informed and aware.
The difference is, when I have one, I don't go about telling people I have seen a ghost. Imo they are not something one might mistake for a ghost anyway - unless one wanted a story to tell.

Do they inconvenience you on a day to day basis?

I also experience some auditory hallucinations too, although less often. A man's voice will speak my name, or I will hear loud bang, thud, or explosion in my head.
I don't put those down to ghosts either.