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Original poster

to feel sad about people's perception of having sons.

304 replies

wanderingcloud · 20/07/2014 11:15

A random conversation in the staffroom at work, general chit chat about children. The mother of two daughters who go to the same nursery as my sons said "I'm sure your boys are lovely but I'm SO glad I have girls! Boys are just horrid!" then other mum's of girls started chiming in with comments about how generally noisy/smelly/disgusting/horrible boys are and what a nightmare they must be. I laughed it off, my boys can be a handful. What under 3yr old isn't occasionally noisy and dirty? However, watching my two sons sitting quietly looking at books together this morning, I'm filled with sadness that people actually perceive them in such a negative way.

OP posts:
aquashiv · 21/07/2014 22:21

I too have had Oh boys are so boisterous as if that's an alien concept to girls. I have a whurling dervish of a dd who won't sit still.
Bizarre yet alarming how society seeks to stereotype so young.

slipslipslippy · 23/07/2014 18:08

I feel sorry for mums who will never know the mother daughter bond.

The same as I feel sorry for men who will never know the father son bond. I include dh in that statement.

He loves the bones of our dd's obviously and he couldn't possibly love a boy more .. but that said, there would something different if he had a son.

I relate to my three daughters in a way dh can't.

idiuntno57 · 23/07/2014 18:35

I love my x4 DS 5 - 9yrs. Sure I would love x4 DD if thats what I had.

Feel no sadness. Just permanent exhaustion. Yes I'll miss out on the mother daughter bond but so what. Some people get to miss having children at all. Some people don't get healthy children. Some people have pink hair and purple spots......Some people are idiots.

Ignore them

AppleAndMelon · 23/07/2014 18:40

*Wally^ Grin

I get the comments too - often in front of the children - drives me mad. I love my boys and am so pleased I had them as they are brilliant.

vitaminz · 23/07/2014 18:47

They sound like a pair of bitches to me. Who makes stupid comments like that?

aprilanne · 23/07/2014 18:49

i have 3 sons two young adults one a teenager .yes my house is always loud .yes my washing basket is always full .no no-one but me cleans up /does ironing or anything else for that matter .but i adore having my boys .hubby wanted a girl .think he thought life would be nice and angelic/quiet .the poor wee thing would have no life .he would have banned boyfriends until at least 30 so he says .so i am happy who cares .

BravePotato · 23/07/2014 18:52

slislippy, but I KNOW about the mother-daughter bond, as I am a daughter, as well as a mother.

I have that bond with my mum.

no need to feel sorry for me, in the nicest possible way.

curiousgeorgie · 23/07/2014 18:58

Probably not a popular opinion, and I'm sure it's not true of all boys, but with the exception of one the boys I know they are much wilder, destructive and loud. The girls are far quieter, tidy, calm and gentle.

My playroom after a boy has left - I want to cry.

My playroom after a girl has left - tidied in about 5 minutes.

Itsjustmeagain · 23/07/2014 18:59

I have 4 girls and 1 boy and all I ever get are comments like "poor dh bet he moves out when they are teenagers" or poor ds he will have no one to play with (he couldn't possibly play with girls....that would be unthinkable Hmm).

It drives me mad as if I have somehow ruined both DH and DS life by providing too many girls in the family.

People say stupid things about all kinds of family set up I have no idea why but they do.

KnittingRocks · 23/07/2014 19:01

slip, don't feel sorry for me - I'm not remotely bothered about not experiencing the mother/daughter bond so please don't put your feelings onto others. I have an amazing bond with my sons - a different bond with each one. They are individuals not a gender.

KnittingRocks · 23/07/2014 19:02

Oh and for those posters who think it's an MN thing - definitely not, have experienced this loads in RL. It's very sad and does my head in.

slipslipslippy · 23/07/2014 19:05

I just think it's possible to put into words how it is different to be a mother of girls.

YY they are individuals. All three of my girls are very different to each other. But they are not boys. Boys are different to girls.

slipslipslippy · 23/07/2014 19:07

In an ideal world I would be a mum to a baby (any gender - babies are babies)

Then a mum to a toddler boy (they are so very loving towards their mums)

And then from about the age of 5 I would be a mum to girls.

But a gender swapping child isn't a possibility Grin

LucilleBluth · 23/07/2014 19:13

slipslipslippy......I'm so tired that I can't be arsed to pull apart your stupid posts but I just feel the need to say smog!

slipslipslippy · 23/07/2014 19:22

LucilleBluth - I won't pull apart your stupid post either. smog?! Wink

Mum's of boys always become so defensive on threads like these.

I'm not slaging boys off. I haven't once said anything negative about them.

needaholidaynow · 23/07/2014 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pukkabo · 23/07/2014 19:33

Agreed. When I found out I was having a boy the first time a lot of peoples reactions were of pity. "oh poor you, you're going to have your hands full!" Etc. I did also have one woman who was also pregnant comment on how sorry she was for me and how pleased she was that she was having a girl because, and I quote, "Girls clothes are sooo much cuter, well girls are cuter in general." Hmm

I was thrilled to be having a boy. I wasn't arsed on the gender really but I always wanted to have a boy as the eldest for whatever reason. As it goes he's the quietest and most mild mannered and thoughtful out of the three. The other two are girls and are, dare I say it, hard bloody work.

myotherusernameisbetter · 23/07/2014 19:36

Mum's of boys always become so defensive on threads like these.

That's a bit of a blanket statement is it not?

It has been my experience that younger dads tend to favour boys and older dads are less bothered or have a slight preference for girls. Not sure whether if I had become a mother younger, I would have preferred a girl.

Clearly I have a limited range of experience in this matter :)

KnittingRocks · 23/07/2014 21:04

slip, with all due respect you don't have a son so how do you know anything about it?

(reverse logic)

slipslipslippy · 23/07/2014 21:06

The same way that mums to only boys know they aren't missing out on anything by not having a girl I guess Wink

LucilleBluth · 23/07/2014 21:09

Gutted, I have two sons AND a DD, get me.........just off to kiss and cuddle my wonderful sons :)

slipslipslippy · 23/07/2014 21:19

Lucky you - having a dd LucilleBluth Wink

Guess you don't know how these mum to boys only feel either

3littlefrogs · 23/07/2014 21:22

Boys are lovely. As are girls.
IMO children are a blessing.
They all have the capacity to drive you mad and fill you with joy in equal measure.

LucilleBluth · 23/07/2014 21:24

Well I was a mum to only boys for 7 years so I have more of a clue than you.

5madthings · 23/07/2014 21:25

I was a mum to only boys for 11 years, four boys and then I had baby no 5 who is a girl. No different parenting a girl to a boy. They are all different with different personalities but it's not what is between their legs that makes them different.

If we have another I don't care what gender it is just as I didn't care with the first five.

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