to be disappointed that some of my family hate our PFB's name

[bexleigh]

Our little boy is 7 weeks old and some of my family don't like the name we chose. This includes my dad and my grandmother. Their first reaction on the day he was born was "Really? ... Oh. Right. Well, it's not really my cup of tea, no. I'm not a fan". The next day I thought they might have gotten used to it, but no, "I just can't get used to it. I think I'll call him the initial". And ever since the birth they've avoided referring to him with his actual name, instead they make up pet names.

I didn't announce the name before the birth, wanting to avoid negative comments, and expected people to be too polite afterwards to say anything if they didn't like the name. So I feel that this is quite rude. However, they probably see it as being open and "wearing their heart on their sleeve". It just hurts my feelings though! My dad is a kind and loving man but can sometimes be a bit tactless.

Btw, it's not a really wacky name, not made up or strangely spelt, just a traditional name which is uncommon these days.u

I still don't like my cousins full name, fortunately she has never used it.

Ah Quentin's a great name!

There has been a few family names that didn't like ( love them now) but I wouldn't have dreamt about hurting a new mother and making the first few week an unhappy time.

My Mum didn't like ds3's name and tried to persuade me to change and call him by his middle name. After a few months she wad heard declaring that his name was one of her favourites and suited him down to the ground. They will come round.

It's a lovely name and they want to call him Q?,

Stick to your guns.

Quentin and Rex are good names, but I like Mabel and Vera, too.

OP, have they said why they don't like it? Mostly when we don't like a name it's because of an association of some sort... old-fashioned, upper-class-twit, chav, and of course, other people with the same name. When I was young, the only well-known Quentin was Quentin Crisp, so stop me if I'm going in the wrong direction, and please don't be offended if I am, but could there be a tiny bit of homophobia in the negative responses that you've had?

Whatever the reason, I hope they come to love the name as much as they do your DS.

Well of course we can say it's always rude, and often it probably is. However, while people have a right to name their children as they see fit, there's no way I'm going to sit here and pretend that some people don't call their children some fucking stupid and unfortunate names.

I love the name Quentin! Congrats on your little boy.

My daughter gave her son a name I wasn't keen on, and I actually had a reason to dislike it. But he's here now, and his name is his name. So aside from the normal nicknames that kids get given, I will happily use it, personalise his stuff with it and defend her right to name her children whatever she pleases. I have no right to dictate what she calls them, nor to change their names to suit my preferences

My role as grandmother is to support her and love the dickens out of them. Anything else is stupid.

Yeah but saying it to the face of someone is a little cunty thought isn't it UncleT?

There are plenty of names I don't like but I'm polite enough to not air my unwanted opinion

It could be, yes - could also depend on how stupid we were talking though.

He's going to spend more time as an adult than as a child. I like Quentin- it's a strong sort of name and there is unlikely to be more than one in his school.

We wanted to call our dd Daisy when we weren't sure if she was a boy or a girl - my mum spent the last 4 months of my pregnancy begging me not to use it, it was the name of a pantomime cow etc, etc. In the end we went with another name, common but lovely and it suits her - but it pisses me off that I didn't stick to my guns and that DM thought it was acceptable to belittle our choice so much!

Oh I love it! Maybe because I love Quentin Tarrantion

Fuck them! He's your son and you can call him whatever you like

Maybe say you're considering changing his name to crapbag and see which they prefer

Nothing wrong with Quentin. To me it sounds posh. Many years ago I met a Crispin in a wine-bar in the City. I commented that I thought it was a posh sounding name, and he denied that, slightly defensively. Being foreign, it hadn't crossed my mind that anyone would mind being thought posh. Now that I have more of a grasp of how this class business works, I can see why he reacted as he did.

Ds friend is quentin, lovely little boy, name suits him.

I would maybe send an email to all those involved saying

"we have noticed that some of you are referring to Quentin as Q or a nickname, this is not his name and we offended by it. Please treat him with the respect he deserves and use his name before we all end up having a falling out."

Oh I love that name, its sophisticated but also cute!!

I agree with Pp who suggest putting your put down, how dare they be so opinionated and not over the moon you did not call him Melon or Pear!!!!!

Congratulations, enjoy him xx

I think there are certain circumstances where it's appropriate to make negative comments. I.e. if there's something the parents haven't realised about it (initials spelling something bad, etc), or like my friend who went through a phase of being adamant she was going to call her DS Danny-Boy and is now very grateful for her DM gently suggesting otherwise. I also have another friend who almost called her twins Bill and Ben (William and Benjamin) until someone pointed it out.

But if you just make a rude comment about an already named baby to the parents face, then I think that's wrong. If they are soliciting opinions, that's different.

Quentin give them time I'm sure they will get used to it.

Oh, and I wouldn't say anything about the nicknames. Let people get on with it. They will die out and then your DS will choose his own anyway.

never mind them was it MN approved

I like all the names in this thread, particularly Vera, which I associate with Vera Wang, and only have a vague idea of who Vera Duckworth is. I'd find Xerxes the most difficult, as a person who was given an unusual name by my parents and have since changed it to something people can instantly pronounce and spell, but other people really enjoy having an unusual name so that shouldn't put anyone off (and they can always change it when they're an adult if they really want to).

And, having had a difficult name, I would say it is the height of rudeness to not pronounce someone's name correctly, or at least to not make a concerted effort to try. And any who does so deliberately is an idiot!