to be disappointed that some of my family hate our PFB's name

[bexleigh]

Our little boy is 7 weeks old and some of my family don't like the name we chose. This includes my dad and my grandmother. Their first reaction on the day he was born was "Really? ... Oh. Right. Well, it's not really my cup of tea, no. I'm not a fan". The next day I thought they might have gotten used to it, but no, "I just can't get used to it. I think I'll call him the initial". And ever since the birth they've avoided referring to him with his actual name, instead they make up pet names.

I didn't announce the name before the birth, wanting to avoid negative comments, and expected people to be too polite afterwards to say anything if they didn't like the name. So I feel that this is quite rude. However, they probably see it as being open and "wearing their heart on their sleeve". It just hurts my feelings though! My dad is a kind and loving man but can sometimes be a bit tactless.

Btw, it's not a really wacky name, not made up or strangely spelt, just a traditional name which is uncommon these days.u

I haven't read the full thread but some people used to use Quentin as slang for a gay man. I guess from Quentin Crisp so perhaps that's what people are thinking? Not that there is anything wrong with that but I can see how some people might be surprised and see it as quite a flamboyant name.

Everyone hated the name we chose for DS, unfortunately he is in his 20s now and he hates it as well. You can't win them all.

Gosh Extraimmaturecheddar

I thought you'd called your son Toilet-Roll or something from your family's reaction. Rex is a very nice name.

rivertam no, I was literally about to say exactly that and I really like that name, it is unusual, but so what? My son has a very normal name, and I was still categorically told by a family member that I couldn't call him that because it reminded her of a character of a person from a programme she watched as a kid
.

I'm lovinng all these grandparents gettinng hot under the colour about completely normal traditional names spelt correctly. Don't they know how bad it could be??. We should all start saying 'Hmm, I really like Sliffery' to horrify them when pregnant then when we say 'actually I've changed my mind and am going to use Sophia' they will all be very happy that it is an actual real name.

Quentin is great, I though Crisp first but that's OK for me. Agree might be homophobia.

It's just that names have different associations for different generations.
They will get used to any name you choose in the end.

I think grandparents of the previous generation were probably more forthright in their opinions.
"Bloody hell! You can't call him that it's bloody awful"
We ignored them and I suggest you do the same!

whetesthelight and ilovenewts - thank you. We love the name too. I don't have a problem with people not liking his name, but those who vocalise it are terribly rude.

We'll probably be the same in years to come when certain names come back into fashion. "You can't call the baby Derek/Sandra."

I'd vomit if my grandchild was called Doreen or Trevor. I would be that grandmother.

You had your choice squoosh- you have to let them have their choice and accept it.

The only Quentin I know is an ageing, ver posh and rather boozy old-fashioned City broker so I struggle to imagine it on a baby. But given that babies all look a bit like Winston Churchill perhaps it makes sense...

OP, your family are being very rude and should stfu.

I was nanny to a baby Derek (ok, a few years ago now). I don't think there's anything wrong with it

My sister and I were given unusual names. My sister's name remained unusual (in the UK at least) but mine had a resurgence and is quite associated with chavs. Sadly you just can't tell. Even my very vocal and negative GM came round to both our names.

It didn't stop me giving my DD an unusual name. We get a few odd looks and questions, but most people seem ok with it. The family have all said its grown on them. DS got a top 20 name, but only because we found it harder to find one we liked that worked with our surname (poor DS ). But we applied the 'cv test' to both, and we reckon they're both ok. We wanted our kids to have names that would work as adults as that's what they'd be most of their lives (hopefully).

Gorgeous name!

Of course it is tactless to say you don't like a chosen name, I personally would just nod and say how lovely, but in your relatives' defence, I have struggled with the choice of names of some nieces and nephews and to this day still struggle to call them by their name (though I accept that is my problem rather than their parents').

My three have unimaginative traditional names, mostly because I find unusual names come in and out of fashion very quickly and, having a difficult name that has plagued me all my life and caused a fair amount of bullying at school, I have always wanted to save my children the hassle of always having to spell out their name, having a name that they might feel embarrassed by later in life, or get them unduly noticed at school. Boring but safe.

This said, I have always struggled with calling my babies by their proper name. I still mostly call my middle son baby boy, even though he is 4 years old, and the baby is Baby. My mum asked me today whether the baby recognises his name and I had to admit that at 9 weeks, he never gets called by it! It took us 6 weeks to find and register my middle son's name, our families were going crazy we didn't have a name. I think in the end they were disappointed that we came up with something as uninspired as we did. As for my 6 year old, although I like the name, I never thought it suited her, and hubby, who actually chose it, calls her by a completely different nickname.

When we were struggling for our middle son, my mum told me to go with what I liked (within reason, she was a teacher so had her fair share of ridiculous names), she said you eventually get used to everything, even weird names, and eventually you can't imagine the child being called anything else. Just give them time.

Don't worry though, this won't be the last time opinions will be expressed about your children, whether you ask people what they think or not!