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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disappointed that some of my family hate our PFB's name

265 replies

bexleigh · 20/07/2014 06:48

Our little boy is 7 weeks old and some of my family don't like the name we chose. This includes my dad and my grandmother. Their first reaction on the day he was born was "Really? ... Oh. Right. Well, it's not really my cup of tea, no. I'm not a fan". The next day I thought they might have gotten used to it, but no, "I just can't get used to it. I think I'll call him the initial". And ever since the birth they've avoided referring to him with his actual name, instead they make up pet names.

I didn't announce the name before the birth, wanting to avoid negative comments, and expected people to be too polite afterwards to say anything if they didn't like the name. So I feel that this is quite rude. However, they probably see it as being open and "wearing their heart on their sleeve". It just hurts my feelings though! Sad My dad is a kind and loving man but can sometimes be a bit tactless.

Btw, it's not a really wacky name, not made up or strangely spelt, just a traditional name which is uncommon these days.u

OP posts:
Sixweekstowait · 20/07/2014 07:49

A lovely healthy addition to the family- and they care about the name? FFS - don't they know what's going on in the world at the moment and how lucky they are? I'd be torn between telling them that and pulling my tongue out at them and saying didums

JonSnowsPout · 20/07/2014 07:50

It's not honest it's incredibly rude.

I would tell them not to use the initial but to use the name.

Pepperwitheverything · 20/07/2014 07:52

I chose an unusual name for my first DD...it is a very old Irish name that I loved as soon as I heard it. But my mum, when she saw the spelling, said 'mmmnnnn, I don't know about that'. It was hurtful, but now DD is three and a lovely, lively little girl, she so suits her name. She also gets compliments everywhere on how beautiful it is.

IShallCallYouSquishy · 20/07/2014 07:53

Just plain rude.

When I had the appointment to register DD my DM said "you could change her name if you wanted"
Er, why would I change her name. DH and I picked it and love it. Your subtle remarks of "oh I would have never thought of that" were enough to tell me you weren't keen Hmm

beepbeep · 20/07/2014 07:57

We did the same - old fashioned name, not very common - my mother told me she didn't like it but now DD is 7, suits her name & DM got used to it - after a while loving it because none of her friends had grandchildren with this name, so she ended up liking the fact that it was 'different'.

nigerdelta · 20/07/2014 07:58

Come on, spill, what's the name?

Valsoldknickers · 20/07/2014 08:02

That's incredibly rude. Don't let anyone put you off. I would also pick them up whenever they address him incorrectly, say "X is not his name, he is Xxxx". Meet them head on and soon everyone will get over it.

Congratulations by the way!

MrsMook · 20/07/2014 08:09

Our friend decided to nickname Ds1. He didn't do it for long after we did it back to his DS with a far more annoying play on his name.

mismylinford · 20/07/2014 08:15

that is extremely rude for them to say that.
i would say to them to get over themselves!
names are the parents choice no one else's.

hiccupgirl · 20/07/2014 08:24

My BIL's family and a couple of joint friends decided after DS was born that they would call him by a nickname that is his 1st and middle names compressed together. I hated it and also thought it was really rude to not even ask if it was ok to do this so I totally ignored it when they said it and it had gradually died a death. Now and again someone says it still and I just blank them and they stop again.

It depends how much fuss you want to make but I've found ignoring worked well though it did take time.

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 08:34

I had the same thing happen with a few of my relatives. It's just incredibly rude and stupid. You just need to tell them really bluntly how unpleasant they are being.

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 08:35

Ps camon grays on your new baby Smile Thanks

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 08:35

Err that was meant to say 'congrats'

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 20/07/2014 08:41

I've got 3 kids the first has a very traditional name everyone likes.
The second has a more unusual name and nobody liked it at first (but now agree it suits him).
The third has been described as a chav name but I'm sure they will get used to it!
And my opinion is I will name my kids what I want and tough Grin.

CombineBananaFister · 20/07/2014 08:42

Rude - but I wouldn't entertain it or lose any sleep. They'll get used to it or tough shit they'll have to suck it up.
Can't stand the say 'say what I want like a spoilt child' brigrade under the pretense of 'just being honest' Angry.
If they haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all - being the older generation they should remember that one Wink
Congratulations btw, don't let them be hurtful.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 20/07/2014 08:44

Ha. DS is 11 days old. When DH phoned all our parents to tell them he had arrived and his name, he was greeted by non-plussed silence, some hidden better than others. It then transpired that my dad thought it was a wind-up and had proceeded to phone my granny and tell her the baby had arrived but he didn't have a name yet! DS has an unusual first name, a classic middle name and then Dad's name for good measure!

Grandad (on my mum's side) said that he would call DS by his classic middle name.

FIL said that predictive text changed DS's name to something rude (not that rude).

When we got home from hospital, FaceTimed Dad. He and my little brother and sisters had spent the time coming up with silly nicknames DS might get called at school, and gleefully told me them all, suggesting that we should rethink. Hmm I said our surname was more likely to get DS teased at school and that part was non-negotiable.

It's funny, but there's a definite generational bias on the name. The older folks hate it but lots of younger people love it. Confused I'm not sure where Dad gets off, mind - my sister and I have names that were v unusual when we were little, so he can't speak! Maybe that's why my DBro has a Top 5 name from the year of his birth, though.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 20/07/2014 08:47

What's the name?

LilRedWG · 20/07/2014 09:00

When I told my sister our name choices she said, "Well, let's hope you have a girl".

We had a boy! [gr

Roll on a year and DS is mentioned at a family meal. Sister pipes up, "I still don't like DS's name. I hoped it'd grow on me but it just hasn't".

I was too Shock to say anything.

sabbby82 · 20/07/2014 09:15

My MIL did this with dc2. Told us she didn't like it and 'I'm just going to call him Arthur'. She must have got used to it as she hasn't called him Arthur since week 2. Proper rude imo.

FriendlyAmoeba · 20/07/2014 09:24

I'd do my best not to rise to the occasion, and when they call him his initial, just calmly correct them like you would a child saying the wrong name.

diddl · 20/07/2014 09:24

I'd be tempted to not let them see the baby tbh.

Can't be respectful enough to call him by his given name-they can fuck off then!

When I told my mum what my PFB was called she ummed & ahhed, mulled it over & said she wasn't keenShock

Told her that I was informing her of his name, not asking her opinion!

Congratulations btw!

Coconutty · 20/07/2014 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/07/2014 09:28

What is the name?

Is it something like Hector?

LadyintheRadiator · 20/07/2014 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 20/07/2014 09:29

Yes coconutty, I think it should be illegal to start a baby name thread without mentioning the name Grin