to feel like crying over my 2 yo who has never eaten a meal?

[PupInBoots]

DD is very nearly two yo and still barely eats. She was EBF and I BF her at bedtime until last month. She showed no interest in solids when under one, she refused a spoon, wouldn't even touch any food when I tried BLW - much less taste it. By 14 months she'd eat yoghurt, nothing else but was still breastfeeding twice. I spoke to HV who said she must be eating more than I say because she isn't underweight.

Now she's approaching her second birthday and she hasn't tried anything new for months. The only foods she'll eat are toast, cheese, yoghurt, bananas, crisps. She drinks whole milk but not much, and water. I don't put pressure on her, get stressed etc. I honestly thought she'd just be interested at some point once older and more hungry once active but if anything she's getting worse.

Yesterday during the entire day she ate: half a slice of toast, a yoghurt, half a banana, a small cup of milk and some cheese.I offer new foods, try to get her to help cook, we eat together - nothing works. The other day she ate a slice of toast and that's it all day, by evening she was hysterical as no doubt her tummy was hurting as she was so hungry but she just wouldn't eat

She weighs 22 lbs - the same as her 7 month old cousin. I spoke to the HV again last month who said she's concerned as DD isn't growing taller but again, she said I must be exaggerating about how little DD eats I am just at a loss of what to do next to help her. AIBU to feel so upsetthat she just wwon't eat? Has anyone else had any experience of this? Any advice?

Take her to see a GP or a different HV. Push for some help.

Does she go to nursery? Have you tried eating with other children? Sometimes a little bit of peer pressure/wanting to be like bigger kids will spur them on to try new things.

Are you giving her a supplement? If not, I would start giving her something.

Please, try and not get upset. Many young toddlers are wary of trying new foods - it's completely natural. And, you know, I think some just have appetites like sparrows. When she's hungry I'm sure she'll eat - if weight is fine, don't worry. I had and have the same with my now 4yo - for over a year she didn't really put on any weight. It's just her natural growth curve. There are days she will eat up a proper meal but weeks seem to go by with little more than fruit, yoghurt and milk going in. I supplement with a general vitamin pill each day though, to be on the safe side.

My ds is younger than your dc however whilst I offered bf he was not interested in food, I posted about it here infact because I was worried.
It took a while for the transition but I found the key was to not bf close to usual meal times, he would always prefer a bf because it fills up his tummy quicker, satisfies his hunger and I suspect your dd needs to learn how to eat like he did. He is 18 months now and eating well, it took a good few weeks and keeping him active made him hungry.
Try not to worry, babies won't starve themselves, is what my mw used to say.

Lots of dairy can cause anaemia which can lower appetite. Does she seem full of energy? If not I would get iron levels checked.

But she is starving herself. She's refusing food to the point she's hysterical and inconsolable I'm not breastfeeding anymore and haven't been besides bedtime for months but it made no difference. She eats with other children, or rather she sits with them, but it makes no difference. I want to give her a supplement but she won't accept it.

Also could she be getting her 2 year molars now which will make eating painful?

Yes, she has lots of energy. I don't know how!

I agree with swapping HV's.

On a side note, my DD works in a Nursery and I am connected to a Children's Centre.

We see lots of children that don't eat well, once they are in the social setting of a peer group, they start to eat normally.

Not always at home, but they eat enough during the day that they make up for what they refuse at home.

If it isn't medical, they do get better, this won't be forever.

Go to see a GP. I think you need to see a nutritionist.

I thought that fanjo but surely she'd at least accept yoghurt to fill her tummy up? She isn't talking at all either and the HV thinks it's because her muscles aren'tddeveloped enough as she never really chews anything

I have no words of advice, but my cousin ate only bananas, cheese on toast and cheese and crackers till she was 10 years old she is now a totally healthy 29 year old.

I've seen the GP too, who again said as long as she has energy then she's fine and will grow out of it.

She maybe wouldn't. I'd try to get a peek at her mouth.

If she consistently ate but it was this limited range of foods, it wouldn't be so bad but often she'll complain she's hungry but turn down even the things she likes

I would also push for a referral to a speech therapist who could assess her speech and also help with the chewing. Sounds like hv would refer you.

I think you're right to be concerned, and I would push for a paed referral tbh. Don't be fobbed off. Insist.

It may be nothing, just the way she's wired. It may be something. You're not an expert, the GP isn't an expert, and it's an expert that needs to help you and your dd, or at least decide if there is a medical issue.

In the meantime don't push it, but try and supplement what she will take. Get vitamin drops for the yoghurt for example.

Best of luck.

She's being reassessed at the end of the month because of the height concern so I'm hoping action will be taken them

What is a red flag in this for me is that she has a lot of dairy then screams her stomach hurts.

As a parent of a kid with many allergies and intolerances, my son doesnt eat when he is 'reacting'.....

Does he have eczema, wheeziness or ever had green, mucousy, or acidic smelling poos?

Try a supplement that comes as a milkshake or one you can hide in normal milk.

If she is healthy, then you just have to wait for her to grow out of it.

I would try having an all day buffet rather than offering food at specific times. Have a range of foods that she likes and new ones, just on the table and let her take what she wants, when she wants, no pressure. See what her natural eating pattern is.

A friends child ate nothing until 16 months. He hadn't been growing and was treated as an in patient at hospital for 6 days. I don't know the details beyond that it was a sensory issue for him- he'd never put things in his mouth as a baby either- and the treatment was a process of de-sensitising him to the feel of food. Could it be something along those lines perhaps?

No, all normal OH. Her screaming was after all day with only a slice of toast yet having been at the park for hours, been playing outside all day etc.

Our son was also EBF until 2 years old and barely put on a gramme of weight between 9 months and 2 years old. Weighed around 10 kgs at 2 years old, at about the 1st percentile (was born on 70th percentile)

He didnt show any interest in food although he would actually eat anything, just very small quantities, we started substituting breast milk for normal milk with chocolate powder in (yes I know, but breast milk actually tastes like sugary milk) and that was a good way of getting calories in to him. Ice cream is another

Since he was 2 he has now been eating well and has put on 3kg in 9 months. So looks like he is cathcing up now

It is amazing that the EBF books don't mention that this could be a side effect, only the positives!

Unfortunately doctors aren't much good because they aren't experts in extended breast feeding, but you can still get your child's iron levels etc checked. And try and draw up some enthusiasm for food. At this stage, all calories are good, sweets, chocolate anything!

She does have sensory issues, Let. She hates mess and disorganization. I've been trying to increase/encourage messy play to deal with this but she doesn't like it. However, we made cakes together last week and she happily shoveled chocolate cake mix into her mouth with her hands!

I agree with birdsgottafly my seven year old was a terrible eater at that age frequently all would eat would be a couple of slices of dry bread in a whole day since he starts nursery his appetite greatly.

She won't eat ice cream. She would probably eat more if I offered cake, crisps and chocolate all the time but is that really better than nothing?