to feel like crying over my 2 yo who has never eaten a meal?

[PupInBoots]

DD is very nearly two yo and still barely eats. She was EBF and I BF her at bedtime until last month. She showed no interest in solids when under one, she refused a spoon, wouldn't even touch any food when I tried BLW - much less taste it. By 14 months she'd eat yoghurt, nothing else but was still breastfeeding twice. I spoke to HV who said she must be eating more than I say because she isn't underweight.

Now she's approaching her second birthday and she hasn't tried anything new for months. The only foods she'll eat are toast, cheese, yoghurt, bananas, crisps. She drinks whole milk but not much, and water. I don't put pressure on her, get stressed etc. I honestly thought she'd just be interested at some point once older and more hungry once active but if anything she's getting worse.

Yesterday during the entire day she ate: half a slice of toast, a yoghurt, half a banana, a small cup of milk and some cheese.I offer new foods, try to get her to help cook, we eat together - nothing works. The other day she ate a slice of toast and that's it all day, by evening she was hysterical as no doubt her tummy was hurting as she was so hungry but she just wouldn't eat

She weighs 22 lbs - the same as her 7 month old cousin. I spoke to the HV again last month who said she's concerned as DD isn't growing taller but again, she said I must be exaggerating about how little DD eats I am just at a loss of what to do next to help her. AIBU to feel so upsetthat she just wwon't eat? Has anyone else had any experience of this? Any advice?

Our son ate very poorly at 2 and it was down to severe constipation( you can "go"every day and still be bunged up - have a look at the length of the large intestine!) Dairy foods were bunging him up. A supplement for a tonic to improve appetite, a hot bath every night with tummy rub and prune juice did the trick - took 3 maths before he started being hungry

DD1 had, sensory issues with food , she likeed sloppy food for ages. I just kept her on baby jars for ages because she was hapoy to eat them. She had a limired diet too, but she was a big baby and was able to keep her weight up.
Her tongue tie wasnt noticed until she went to a speech therapist at 4yo.

my son has sensory issues. he only eats certain foods and will eat nothing else. If he is anxious or sensory overloaded he will not want to eat much.

I got him referred to dietitian. He is also seeing an occupational therapist at the moment who is going to give him some mouth exercises to do. I think it is things like brushing the inside of his mouth. She has been assessing his sensory issues to help him at school.

Ds has also been seen by a speech and language therapist who watched him eating to see if there is a physical problem.

My ds is five. It is not good when these problems are still there at school age. Eating with other children at school, parties etc has not helped my son. Getting advice from doctor, dietitian, salt and occupational therapy is helping.

Also, the lovely people on the mn special needs children board have lots of really good advice.

my ds2 is a terrible eater and I get so worried about him but he puts on weight and is by no means small for his age in fact everyone comments on how big he is.
ds2 didn't get his first tooth til after his 1st birthday though and even now only has about 6 of his front teeth through and his back teeth are coming through now which has put him right off food again, a typical day for him is:
breakfast: Banana porridge, purreed fruit afterwards
mid morning/nap time: maybe some follow on milk
lunch: Cheese spread sandwich (squashed very small as he can't really chew) yoghurt and I always offer a banana and/or ellas kitchen biscuits/crackers etc which he refuses to eat atm
dinner: whatever the family has I mash or cut into small pieces for ds2 atm he is point blank refusing to touch these (I'm thinking because of the teeth because from around 15-20 months he was eating spag bol, broccoli, small slices of pizza etc) so I make him spaghetti on toast which is all he will eat atm as a hot meal he swallows the spaghetti and sucks the toast til he can swallow it, Yoghurt or purreed fruit for afters
bedtime: follow on milk again

Does this sound ok for the time being? I really worry but dh says he will eat when he's ready and has more teeth through, does this sound as if its because of his late teething? he had tounge tie as a baby but that was sorted at 10 days old and he has no problems with this now, he says some words 'Dad, cat, mama, pep pig, car' and makes loads of sounds trying to talk, ds1 didn't say any words til just after his second birthday so I'm not too worried about his speech.

sorry forgot to add ds2 is now 23 months old

landrover - I think you are overconfident about nursery! Lots of children with feeding issues (or even just fussiness) go to nursery and it isn't a magic cure.

What percentile is she on for height and weight?

Is there any chance your child is filling up on dairy and has little space for other food?

Is there any chance she's eating less because the weather is so hot?

As the mother of 4 kids who were EBF and then were uninterested in food aged one, I wouldn't fret too much. My children are all under the 9th (two are under the bottom percentile) but all are very healthy and very able. I've always served them whatever we were eating as a family and let them choose to eat or not. I've never nagged and they eat all sorts without fuss. I'm not desperate for them to eat as they eat what their body requires.

Healthcare professionals can make new mums worry unessesarily. We all come in different shapes and sizes.

It's too young to worry about speech just yet as that often goes bananas after 2 years old.

Does she have problems opening her mouth or chewing?

Is she sensitive to clothing, shoes etc?

Does she repeat behaviours more then other children?

I think its possible to worry yourself silly about speech but in most cases language balloons after the second birthday.

My nephew is like this, he was not BF though, so all he wants his milk bottles and not food. He will eat 3 or 4 things. The doctor said whatever he will eat just keep giving him plenty of. They will grow out of it.

My DD had a terrible appetite similar to yours at a similar age. She had chronic constipation, her insides were so full of poo that there was no space for any more food. It was before she was able to explain herself well by talking. It was horrendous. She was on a mild laxative anyway so was pooing sometimes but not one dr spotted the extent of the problem until she caught a diarrhoea bug and poo started leaking out around the solid poop. She had a week in hospital on serious laxatives and I'm not kidding I could tell from the volume of stuff in the toilet that there was months worth stuck in there. 5 GP visits and numerous A&E couldn't spot it over a period of at least 6 months.

After the first proper poop she ate a full breakfast of cereal and toast and I'm telling you I nearly cried. I had never seen her eat that well in about 6 months. Before she would lick toast that was her breakfast.

So constipation could be a cause.

My middle ds wouldn't eat for a long time. I remember he'd only eat bread and butter for a good few months. That was it!! I gave him vitamin drops (which we had to hold him down for once a day). I was worried sick, but now he eats a fairly good variety, is very bright and incredibly sporty. No harm done. I think if you can ensure they have the vitamins they need, then any calories are good calories and you can relax a bit x

Yesterday during the entire day she ate: half a slice of toast, a yoghurt, half a banana, a small cup of milk and some cheese

I think a 'good appetite' is pretty subjective though. That would have been an average day for DS at the same age! He's now 2 years 7 months and doesn't eat vastly more most days. But he's full of energy, meeting his milestones and steadily tracking the 25th percentile. I think in our case genetics may be involved. I have a small appetite and several close relatives of mine seem to literally live on air. The other stuff makes it seem worth checking it, but I wonder if we sometimes end up medicalising things that are actually within the broad range of 'normal'. Likewise DS is quite 'orderly' and not that fussed about messy play, though not as much as your DD. Again I've heard that some toddlers are just like that, as some adults are naturally tidier and more averse to clutter.

That would be a normal amount for my kids when little too particularly on hot days or if they were very busy playing

My three-year-old was EBF until 20 months, and is a fantastic eater. I've actually never heard that before about EBF and poor eaters.

I would definitely push for a referral. My friends's little boy is three and has only ever eaten chicken nuggets and milk (formula fed from birth). He has sensory issues and has been diagnosed with apraxia, and is seeing both an OT and a speech therapist to work through the issue.

My son is nearly 2.5 and was last weighed at a&e at the end of June at 24lb. He doesn't always eat a lot in quantity but does eat a big range of food. I find that some days he will eat hardly anything and it does worry me because he only seems to be growing slowly up the way...he is very thin. He is still wearing 12-18 month clothes. It's hard not to become obsessed with what they eat and it's really hard finding someone who will listen and help...hope you get a referral and the help you need.

she sounds just like my now 5 year old. I have cried, shouted, lost sleep etc etc.

in the past year she's started eating pasta (but only smothered in marmite), marmite sandwiches and breakthrough she now eats bread and butter, plain pizza dough (dough sticks/balls) and 3 months ago started eating babybel (but only the purple ones)

she remains on the 2nd centile but is the fastest runner in her class at school, full of beans and healthy just fussy. her 2 year old sister has always been a labrador in human form and eats as much as I do.

Huge unmumsnetty hugs OP, i feel your pain but honestly ignore ognore and accept as long as she grows and has energy it'll be ok in the end

Hugs OP. I can't really say much to help, but my nearly 2 yo is similar (used to be a big chunk and now so skinny it upsets me) and also has sensory issues. It's a vicious circle with cake and stuff because he would eat any of the c-words all day (cake, choc, crisps, ice Cream) but after he eats those he is even worse at refusing normal food. He will eat plain pasta with no sauce and basically lives on it. Doesn't even like bread, potatoes or eggs!

Some of the things you've said do suggest allergies and reflux...

My DS does eat a wider range at nursery but still not what you would call either a lot or a balanced diet. He has been there since 8 months old and peer pressure has never had a massive effect.

Recently he's actually been eating less there as he doesn't like eating when it's noisy so he will have mashed potatoes at lunch, watermelon for dinner and then have another dinner with us once he gets home.

It's really not as easy as just get them to nursery it will sort it all out!

She has two words anyone could understand, probably 5 that I do. I know what animal she means by her noises, but no one else does.

She won't eat oven food. She seems interested when I cook and even salivates but won't try even alick of anything. Today she's had half a banana, a few crisps, a yoghurt, a couple of tiny pieces of cheese and that's all. We baked tonight and she didn't try it during or after. She will eat McDonald's chips occasionally, but not every time. She has only ever eaten sausage meat and no other meat (she'd pick pastry off a sausage roll) but she won't eat that any more.

I will push for a referral, thank you. I do worry it could be worse than just fussiness. She really panics at certain things - like a tiny bit of banana on her top, or a leaf blowing in the wind and she flaps a lot. She also becomes hysterical if stared at or if she thinks someone is going to touch her.

The 5 was including the other 2, so she has 5 I can understand. She doesn't really try and talk other than that, lots of noise but no attempt at words or imitation. Ionly rreally noticed how big a difference there is last week when a boy a month older was speaking to me in 4-5 word sentences and could hold a basic conversation. DD mostly 'grunts' as the HV called it.

My 2yo is bf & is a fantastic eater - very tall & speech development is right on track. I think it's bullshit posters are pinning this dc's health/development issues on bf.

If anything, I'd say the op should start up bf again. Breast milk has growth factors in it. Bm fills the gap for fussy eaters.

OP, does she normally dislike cuddles, eye contact etc?

Are you still BFing now?

OP, what's her percentile (or weight and hight?).

Does she understand more then she speaks. Can she understand instructions?

I don't think people are blaming breast feeding for development. BF was a positive thing for my family.and we did it for a long time.

Lastly getting upset about small things (leaf blowing) is quite normal. Although in some cases it can be linked to other needs.