To think I'm never going to get pregnant...

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Just in hospital recovering from my second egg collection - first ivf cycle failed.

The consultant has said I need a 'full review' because he thinks there's something wrong with me as well as the fact we have extreme make factor issues. We knew about the mfi which is why we went for ivf (icsi) in the first place but didnt expect my eggs to be total crap. I'm 31, ovulate every month, have good levels of follicles.
Today they've retrieved 9 eggs. Same as last time. I've already given up. I'm tempted not to bother taking the progesterone. What's the point? Sperm are crap. Eggs are crap.

And no, I don't want to adopt.

I'm so fed up.

Oh sweetheart

No suggestions but sending you huge hugs

When are they looking to do this full review?

Why the bloody hell does the consultant think there is something 'wrong' with you?

Is this based on a single failed IVF attempt or some other test results?

If the latter, then why is he allowing another cycle before doing this 'full review'?

This consultant sounds like the problem, not you.

Try and keep your chin up, it's grim I know.

When this cycle fails.

So sorry OP...am sending hugs....Life can be crap sometimes....I have a friend going through this and there is nothing I can say is there? Just thinking of you...

It's based on my eggs being crap first time and because I'm type 1 diabetic. He said there could be 'lots of other autoimmune conditions alongside it' which there could be...but I've no symptoms of any of them. Thyroid is fine, blood pressure low, diabetes is very very tightly controlled, I'm in pretty good condition. Apart from my shit eggs obviously.

No pcos, Bmi 21.
Just crappy eggs to go with the crappy sperm.

Darling you don't know that this cycle will fail

Please take the progesterone. Give yourself every chance. It will either work or it won't, but you'll kick yourself later if you don't do everything you possibly can.

How are you feeling? Is the sedation wearing off ok?

Oh you poor thing. It's crap, isn't it?

But you've only had one cycle. It's too early to give up hope at this point. 9 eggs may not be lots, but it's a decent amount to make a good choice from.

Actually, it might be that you could do better on another stimulation drug - do you think that might be what the review is for? Or a long/short protocol, depending on what you've had already?

Keep at it Hun, so sorry you feel this way. You've come a long way so far.

I feel ok. A bit emotional and like it's all been for nothing.

I wish the consultant had said all this before we began this cycle. Today is the first time we have actually seen him since our failed attempt.

Thank you for being so kind. Why why why are my eggs so useless?

Did you get to embryo transfer in the last cycle? How many days after ec was the transfer?

I've been short protocol because of having diabetes and suffering migraines. They said there's no difference in outcome chances between the two. Also I had plenty of antral follicles.

9 is crap isn't it? They said they thought they'd get 14 this time but apparently they weren't big enough.

No he said the review was to check what other issues I had.

9 eggs is a good amount to collect. Too many and the quality goes down, too few and the odds of good fertilisation goes down. I am told they aim for ten, so you are pretty spot on. Just wait to see on the quality, it can change so much between cycles.

Please try to stay positive on this attempt, could you see an acupuncturist to help you through any transfer.

If this doesn't work for you then my best advice is to get a second opinion on your tests, other tests, etc (I speak as someone who had her DC at the seventh and eighth IVF attempt when the fourth clinic I went to found the problem after being unexplained infertility for years).

It sucks, but lots can be done to improve egg quality.

Got to transfer, day 3 though so not great. Only had two still going and although there was no fragmentation they were only 6 cell so slow. Both went back but no good.

Consultant said there could be implantation issues. I personally don't think there are. I think the embryos just stopped growing since they were already slow.

He said nothing can be done re egg quality. It's just what you're born with.

I'm glad you finally got your dc Lambzig.
I don't think I can put myself through it that many times. Nor could we afford it in all honesty.

I know many people who have done IVF and had massive problems conceiving. Of about 12 couples, all bar 1 now have kids. Some worked first time, one took 6 tries. The majority have taken 2ish tries. It is highly likely you will get there. Even more likely if they can understand what the problem is. The one with no kids still has not actually started her IVF as they can't afford private. Dunno if that helps.

Believe it or not, 9 isn't bad at all. Ok, so they were hoping to get 14, but it's amazing how many follicles can be empty.

I completely understand why you feel like you've given up hope - you're allowed to feel low! But try to take one step at a time - you've had yet another procedure today, have been poked and prodded for ages, probably feel like a pin cushion and have the prospect of another procedure in the next few days.

I know it's easy for me to say this, and much harder to do, but please try to break it all down into manageable chunks. For today, your priority is to feel better, get home and be looked after by your other half. Tomorrow, your priority will be to find out how many embryos they've managed to get. Little chunks, trying to minimise how overwhelming the whole thing is as much as you can

Agree with Droflove, you will get there.

I know 7 attempts is at the extreme end. What frustrated me was the fourth clinic found the issue with a £250 test. IVF is so expensive that it is worth having as many tests as you can before trying again.

That's actually probably not true. There are studies showing that a lot can be done to improve egg quality with DHEA and high doses of Coenzym Q 10. It takes 3 months for them to show effect on egg quality. Not all consultants are up to date re this issue, so I think you need another clinic. Probably one size fits all approach is not for you and you need a consultant who can tweak things around to find combination that will work for you.
But don't forget that this cycle is not over yet.
Good luck .

Bubbamara, I was frantically googling as I knew there were things that could be done. Totally agree that the one size fits all approach is the norm for a lot of clinics, just to suggest another cycle.

Please look after yourself over the next few days. I know how everything feels like it's another impossible hurdle. Please remember that many babies are born (including my DC2) from implanting slow growing low grade embryos and many cycles with textbook perfect embryos implanted (most of my failed attempts) just don't work.

I've been taking cq-10.
The clinic had never heard of it when I asked if it was ok to take!
I think dhea would make my sugars a bit unstable as I believe it is similar to a steroid.

I've eaten lots of protein too. Probably wont make any difference but worth a shot.
We will change clinic next time.

Will pm you x

Massive un-MN hugs and sympathy.
My two penn'eth:
Get tested for NK cells, or if they won't test, get them to put you on the steroids they would prescribe for a positive test
Are they doing a scratch/using embryo glue for the transfer? If not, ask for that for this transfer (might be too late for a scratch, but they can still use glue)
Have you had your thyroid tested? High TSH levels are associated with poor implantation, so ask them to look at that ASAP. If your TSH levels come back high, ask them to freeze this lot while your get your TSH down

Unfortunately, it is still a numbers game and a lot of it is out of your control. BUT, get yourself over to the IVF threads on the Conception board, and see the stories of people who were in your position and dreading their 2nd/3rd/4th rounds but then got the right outcome. It DOES happen