"We are waiting to see what we have before choosing the colour for the babies room"

[FlipFlippingFlippers]

This is not an anti pink thread but seriously?! For what its worth I am female and I like pink. And blue. And green. And yellow. You get the idea. It just bugs me that people give colours gender. I do have a pink hating, dinosaur loving dd so I might be a bit more sensitive to this.

don't worry I know my wonderful free spirited daughter will be eaten by the monster named conformity....

Anyone who believes this really doesn't understand the problem. Even if you don't conform, you still end up be ostracised by society, rather than accepted. There will be pressure to do certain things and that is a hard thing to deal with ultimately.

I think a lot of 'free spirits' do eventually give up because of how hard it can be to face a daily continual battle against it. It can badly effect self esteem.

Better to try and get society to think about what standards we hold everyone to and to try and change those standards.

Am with Firmament. I have no problem with pink per se, but I have a huge problem with the messages given by supposedly 'girls' and 'boys' clothes. I had a cat vomit related footwear emergency and had to get some last minute trainers for sports day. Admittedly I didn't go to a sportswear shop but to the high street (H&M, Next). The girls' sections were full of strappy sandals and the only shoes even vaguely trainer-like were glittery hi-tops. Shoes made for sitting around looking pretty, not for actually doing anything.

There is so much emphasis on prettiness and delicacy for girls. In toys, clothes, films - it's unavoidable. Elsa and Anna may break a couple of moulds but physically they still strongly reinforce the stereotype of what desirable femininity.

My DD ended up with trainers from the boys' section (which she of course hated because they were the wrong colour). She is 6, and already starting to make negative comments about her appearance.

but why on earth paint a room a colour to go with a baby's gender? nutty. All you people who do that -- do you paint your own room pink in your half and blue in your partner's?

I find it odd that people decorate a room for a baby. Mine just went in the spare room, with a cot and baby paraphernalia. I certainly didn't re-paint or re-decorate. Then they do it all over again when it comes to the "toddler" room rather than baby.

Yes, gender bias does hurt my children. My 6 year old has a beautiful pixie crop (her choice). Yet in the park she gets cruel comments about why is she wearing a dress when she's a boy, she can't possibly be a girl, she has short hair. From other kids, often younger than she is.

My older DD has a hair issue and it won't grow past her ears, however hard she tries. She's a very physical kid. I often get people sympathising with me how awful boys are at that age, but at least I'll have it easy when she's a teenager. They look at me as if I'm mad when I say that, yes, I'm sure she'll grow out of her personality.

I think the whole "pink is shit" "unicorn vomit" is just as damaging.

There is nothing like the vitriol towards blue, or boy coded things on here. It seems to be an unspoken assumption that boy things are better than girl things.

The Powerpuff girls is a good example of being a girl and being powerful without having to be a "mistaken for a boy".

Surely to let your children have choice, they actually get to choose. Steering them away from certain colours, certain parts of a shop or never letting your daughter wear a dress is not giving them a choice.

My DD had a nursery done in primary colours just because i liked it. Now her bedroom is the pinkest it could be. But it is her choice. Should i be telling her that she shouldnt be choosing pink.

She loves lots of girly things and now she is 10, likes dressing in dresses etc but she still enjoys football, bike riding and getting dirty. I let her do what she wants to do. I do the same with my boys. If DS picks out a doll or a pink top then he has it. He also loves dinosaurs, action figures and wearing princess dresses.

We had very few toys which were pink but we did have some. Cant say either me or DD gave it a second thought.

What some people on here are doing are making girls feel as if they should be a boy because boys are better. Pink isnt the problem. Its attitudes and tbh yours are as bad as those whose views you are trying to change.

What a very strange place MN is sometimes.

Excellent posts IceBeing. And I completely agree with whoever said the rigid colour choosing based on a child's sex is the tip of a very nasty iceberg

mommy2ash why do you say the themes of Lego are really boyish?

My son had a barbie doll, a pushchair for his teddy, etc. He still grew up to be a 6ft body-building monster who doesn't wear pink!

You are all railing against the tide like King Canute, I'm afraid.

I agree with the timing if not the sentiment.

Ds's room was pretty much a store room for the first 6 months of his life. He never even went in it because he was in with us. It just contained cardboard boxes full of baby stuff.

We put the cot together at 6 months old and did a bit of "decorating" then. Just putting up posters, a mobile, one of those soothing light projector thingys- to make it a bit more comfy and interesting for him.

He's 2 now and has a bed, wardrobe, trofast storage system, comfy chair, plastic boxes full of toys- its a proper bedroom.

On the walls he has stickers, posters and pictures cut from calendars and magazines. He has primary coloured paper balls (left over from Christmas) hanging from the ceiling and funny little trinkets hanging in the window. The projector and mobile have been put away for the next kid.

Its all been put in place bit by bit as he's needed it and all been chosen with him in mind. So, for example, there's loads of pictures of elephants because he was really into them at one point.

I personally would not decorate a bedroom for an unborn child. They don't really need their own space for some time and by the time they do, they can help you pick stuff out.

"The girls will have long hair and will wear dresses, the boys will have short hair and wear trousers, the girls will do ballet or gymanstics, the boys will do football or martial arts etc etc ec-fucking-ect"

I have three boys who are traditi

Posted too soon...

"The girls will have long hair and will wear dresses, the boys will have short hair and wear trousers, the girls will do ballet or gymanstics, the boys will do football or martial arts etc etc ec-fucking-ect"

We have three boys who are traditional in their colour preferences, but that doesn't prevent them from choosing female dominated activities - 2 of our boys do ballet and gymnastics through choice, not persuasion, the other is more of an football kind if boy.

Mefisto Thu 17-Jul-14 12:53:15
mommy2ash why do you say the themes of Lego are really boyish?

Lego itself is not boyish. In the past it certainly never was. You bought lots of lego and built whatever you felt like. Nothing boyish about that.

Its only recently that Lego have adopted more modern marketing techniques to sell MORE lego. Brothers and sisters can't share lego any more, as "that colour or that set is boy/girl". Hence they end up selling more as a result.

I don't get it, a boy wears a pink tee shirt and all is good in land MN, but a girl wearing a pink tee shirt has some people up in arms.

I love that my DD loves dressing up, having her hair done, loves all disney princess and other things that are traditionally girly.

What Gosh said.

I wouldn't be up in arms about a girl wearing a pink t shirt but I would be about a girl only wearing pink every single day - and this does happen I have a couple of family member whose dd can only wear pink. Obviously when the kids are older its up to them too but a baby girl only ever wearing pink is a sad sight IMO

yabu plus they may feel its bad luck before lo is born

I think Lego really crystallises the whole "special pink girl stuff" problem.
Lots of MNers are old enough to remember girls and boys all playing happily with basic/original lego blocks in the 1970s/80s. It was probably the ultimate unisex toy.

Then somewhere along the way it became a boy's toy, with lots of themed packs based around action heroes, male characters (cops and robbers), guns and battles. The range of basic/original blocks became harder to get hold of. So people stopped buying it for their daughters.

The Lego decided that, instead of returning to the original style of lego, they would target a new range specifically at girls.

The old style lego, children could use their imagination to build anything they want. The new, gendered lego directs children's imaginative play into predefined channels. The child can still use the toy to build what they want, but first they have to overcome the unnecessary preconceptions built into the toy.

In what way is gendered lego an improvement on the original?

I saw a baby girl in the park. Bright ginger hair, freckles and shocking pink outfit.
What were the parents thinking?! Just "pink for a girl" I suppose

There is so much emphasis on prettiness and delicacy for girls. In toys, clothes, films - it's unavoidable. Elsa and Anna may break a couple of moulds but physically they still strongly reinforce the stereotype of what desirable femininity

I agree with this to some extent. It's starts with dresses and strappy sandals and pretty hair and ramps up to a whole other level once they become pre-teens and teens. It's the body facism I can't STAND the most, the you must look a certain way and GOD FORBID you have cellulite on your thigh or a sweaty armpit or stubbly leg or whatever the magazine delight in shaming women about.

It's awful and suffocating and so so damaging to girls who don't have confidence yet in themselves, their bodies, their femininity.

The thing is I think a lot of older girls and women WANT to feminine and pretty. There's nothing wrong with this. But they also want to be strong and smart and cool. They don't want to be mistaken for a boy or gender neutral to be these things.

And maybe they don't know how to, without falling for the whole Daily Mail ideal.

They need female feminine role models and are also cool, strong, samrt and powerful and who celebrate diversity and who portray that it's ok feminine without having to be anything less than perfect appearance wise.

Bizarrely enough,if your wee lassie choses pink,its inferred you've failed as mum,as feminist
Obviously mother allowed her to be brainwashed and hypnotised by pink paraphernalia
A fairy dress and some pink doesn't render wee girl a future pole dancer.
nor will insisting she wear rigger boots ,and hard hat mean that she'll have a non traditional female job

I would be about a girl only wearing pink every single day

I wear black leggings every single day, would you comment on that.

Totally agree with this. Nothing against pink (or blue) in itself but that type of comment just nauseates me. DS's room is white and green. If I have a DD in the future it will likely be another bright colour.

Dashoflime - I think redheads look lovely in pale pink, shocking pink maybe too much though!

YY MrsCakes, it gives the message that cars, construction, the more call of that fun stuff I used to love, is for boys, and that girls should be building pink rabbit hutches or cupcake stands.