Oboes are superior to clarinets in every way.

[FatalCabbage]

When I am global dictator clarinet will simply be phased out with a bonfire.

Why anyone would choose to listen to the nasal whine of a clarinet instead of the heady song of an oboe is completely beyond me. Remove the clarinet section from an orchestra and nobody would notice or care. Remove the oboe and the joy would follow. And nobody would be able to tune up.

Which leads me to my other bugbear... Clarinets never ever sound properly tuned, and they slip even flatter within minutes of tuning.

They sound nasty, their reeds are weird and slimy, and they are frumpy. Mozart can FTFO too. Clarinet concerto = hell on earth.

Who's with me? FWIW trombones are stupid but sound bold, and saxophones at least have the cachet of jazz cool. Clarinets should have gone out of fashion decades ago.

Violinists are NOT sexy. They are all very fat, sweaty, balding men who grow what's left of their hair too long. They wobble around and pull faces and sweat as they play. And their hair and chin wobbles. UUGHHGHGHHG

Bassoons are disgusting. Deal with it.

Cabbage just wait till the neighbours have gone to work.

Upvotes for viola here, lovely instrument. Not much repertoire. Anyone got YouTube recommendations? For any instrument actually.

I completely agree that the oboe is fabulous and much better than the clarinet. On the other hand, trumpet is far superior to both!

, so YABU.

Not keen on brass as they have a spit-valve at the bottom and release spit. I can't be doing with spit.

Youtube - bit of cello?

this makes me smile as I imagine how much they must have to spend on bow-rehairing!

Spit valve contents is excellent at flicking at the violists

My brother once bought a trumpet that someone had been sick in. That was a hell of a job cleaning it out.

How anyone is sick in a trumpet I'm not quite sure. Although brass players do drink a fair bit...

Eew! The trumpet and trombone are the worst brass though. Followed by coronet. Eb & French horns are my babies.

or I could spell it correctly, whatever

...

Loving this AIBU!!

A well played oboe is a thing of beauty and a joy for ever, ditto a bassoon. However until above grade 5 oboes are nasty and bassoons farty.... I have sat through too many "junior double reed ensembles" for my entire lifetime ....already!

I am so glad people have posted links to amazing recorder performances . I'd so love to video my DS playing his Telemann fantasia and share it but he won't let me.

Those who are dithering re kids instruments , french horn is really a pretty lovely one from fairly early on though I guess you do need to be a singer or at least to "think" a pitch as it is not " put fingers down and correct note will sound" sort of instrument at all.

I always wanted to play flugel horn. Now that is a gorgeous gentle sound. Was never good enough to be allowed a go though, relegated to 2nd cornet !

There's no dithering on my part

Dd2 would be signed up already if she would just obey orders see the light. But none of her friends play either French Horn or harp (unsurprising - they are only 7 ) so she won't entertain the idea.
she wants to start playing the flute. I've told her to wait and see. The Head of Music agrees with me - she is pissed off surprised by the numbers wanting to play flute at the moment (and has equally banned her own ds from doing so)

Your links have convinced me of the beauty of the sound of well-played recorder unweavedrainbow.

I only ever played London's Burning on it. Badly, at that.

Do the experts end up with a recorder full of spittle or is that just incompetent children?

BASSOONS are the best.

Trouble is, all the other instruments are jealous and they only get to grumble along in the background and don't really ever get their chance to shine.
Poor bassoons :(
poor DD, playing one bar in every twelve at every concert ever

DS plays the ukulele...now that IS fun to listen to

I can play the clarinet, bass clarinet, alto saxophone, flute, piano, and organ.

Always wanted to learn to play a violin though. So very jealous of those who can play one. I wonder if I'm too old to learn. (or if my neighbours will lead a protest if I do )

I don't seem to get the chance to just ENJOY music as much as I used to with 2 children here. This thread has just reminded me that I need to take the time to do that. So thanks for reminding me.

Oh, and oboes sound nice, a well played clarinet is better and IMO more versatile, but saxophones rule!

People mock viola players because they are actually scared of those initiated into the alto clef. Many composers played the viola - Mozart springs to mind. Takes subtlety to appreciate the inner harmonies.

How many here with DC who play anything?

Did you influence them at all or was it a massive fightat school and they got what they were given left up to them?

This is by far the most lovely AIBU I've ever been on

DD plays piano, clarinet, and saxophone. Ds1 is just starting to learn piano. I suspect if I asked him to choose an instrument, it would be one with a spit valve.

Bassoons deserve a place in the MN fantasy orchestra due to their comedy value, all that parping and funny face pulling, plus any instrument that is much easier to play sitting down gets my vote.

Agree that cellos are a bit sexy, but that's because you don't have to pull a funny face (which rules out all woodwind and brass) and you get to sway around romantically while you play.

My vote for the most pointless instrument is trombone, it's neither Arthur nor Martha, not a wild shrieky trumpet nor an oom pah tuba. Rubbish.

Pandas, I too love the French horn, but isn't it the most difficult to play thing ever? Are you signing your DD up to a life of disappointment, pitching issues, and sweaty hands from being stuck in the bell? It's also mega pressure, you don't play anything for ages then have to belt out some theme or other leaving split notes in your wake.

Norks you can send your dd to my ensemble if you like, my bassoonists are always moaning they get too many notes!
Trufflesnout how very dare you? Disgusting? Really?

Split notes in your wake, love it womb!

Oh, it can't be that difficult

sadly dd2 won't be influenced - she plays cello without any encouragement from me. I'd happily consign all string instruments to the OP's clarinet bonfire.

I was desperate to play French Horn when I was younger. And the harp. . But had to make do with the oboe (which I truly loved, but i still had massive French Horn envy).

I might take one of them up once ds is at school

When I was about 5, I wanted to play the trombone, thinking it was soooo easy, just slide that thing about and there you are! Also, pretty and shiny and loud.

Still think that trombones are cool.

I can handle string players that are still learning, even in that screechy stage. But it grates on my nerves to hear someone playing a brass instrument that is spitty.... bleugh. Generally that's more the realm of kids playing though.