Oboes are superior to clarinets in every way.

[FatalCabbage]

When I am global dictator clarinet will simply be phased out with a bonfire.

Why anyone would choose to listen to the nasal whine of a clarinet instead of the heady song of an oboe is completely beyond me. Remove the clarinet section from an orchestra and nobody would notice or care. Remove the oboe and the joy would follow. And nobody would be able to tune up.

Which leads me to my other bugbear... Clarinets never ever sound properly tuned, and they slip even flatter within minutes of tuning.

They sound nasty, their reeds are weird and slimy, and they are frumpy. Mozart can FTFO too. Clarinet concerto = hell on earth.

Who's with me? FWIW trombones are stupid but sound bold, and saxophones at least have the cachet of jazz cool. Clarinets should have gone out of fashion decades ago.

Clearly that says tenor horn......must proofread messages.....

It's the alto clef. Has mood altering effects. That and never ever ever getting to play the tune.

I just love my saxophone. It looks fantastic, sometimes I just want to stroke it, and the sound of it when I'm on a rare good day is wonderful.

Violists are the sane ones it's everyone else who's bonkers

Hey! We get the tune!! In the last concert, we got eight bars! So there!

It is actually easier to switch to sax from flute than clarinet due to fingering similarities

Yes, thank you!! where were you when I was trying to explain this (badly, apparently) to the music instructor at dd's school years ago. They had them starting on clarinet and then moving to saxophone. I think they were just thinking reed to reed, as opposed to fingering similarities. I suspect he thought I was bonkers.

DBro played clarinet, he played it really well, and it still sounded awful, he also played the cornet, also awful. I played piano, which is lovely, but not very transportable.

DS2 plays guitar, bass not the same, no no, silly mother that I am! mandolin and is going to start learning piano. I might go and get the set of recorders, as we will have a basement studio for me to be awful in for a while.

I've never met a sane tuba player, they always look like they need the loo as well.

Thank you SingSongSlummy - I was right - MN collectively knows everything!

Orchestral joke

If you're driving along, and see a conductor and a violist, what should you do?

Run over the conductor, then the violist - business before pleasure!

love it. that made me chuckle

I want to hate you OP, but am glad you started this thread so I'll let you off.

You know I'm right really. Don't fight the truth.

How many conductors can you fit in a Mini?
26: if you slice them thinly enough.

I'm here all week.

How do you make a viola player play verbrato?

Write 'solo' over a semi-breve.

Do you mean vibrato? Viola players are sticklers for accuracy you know. Someone has to be.

Dear op YANBU. You are talking perfect sense. We could use clarinet reeds - those poky single ones - as kindling

What's the best noise a viola can make?
Splash....

YABU Clarinets sound beautiful when played well and so do recorders!

I occasionally play the pink oboe .

E flat clarinet an abomination???? Noooo..... it's the best weapon of mass destruction instrument ever invented!

The e flat clarinet certainly does make an amazing and unique sound......

Love this thread!

Play piano and violin. I always wanted to play the flute but terrible teeth followed by a decade three years of braces put paid to that.

Favourite instrument probably a well played trumpet. Sigh.

FatherDick, I'm partial to the occasional solo on the skin flute.

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine you only have to punch in your instructions once.

What do you call someone who hangs round with musicians? A drummer.

WellWellWell - I've always heard that joke applied to singers! Either that, or when walking into a concert hall for a rehearsal - "Musicians to the left, singers to the right!"