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Original poster

Just sent wrong text to playdate horrors mother

451 replies

Fanfeckintastic · 15/07/2014 17:14

Oh please help me I'm mortified!! I've just had a play date from HELL and to I went to text my best friend (who would find it hilarious) all about it, outlined everything horrible that he did but I sent it to the little boys mother. I feel like crying.

Is there anyway out of this, I used him name and I ended with "never to return again" Blush

OP posts:
aquashiv · 15/07/2014 18:06

Well done OP for having the balls to go round and face it. I hope the poor Mother doesn't feel a failure though that's far worse. If her child is a challenge then she isn't alone and not a reflection on her parenting.

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/07/2014 18:06

Oh dear, the thing is she has him every day & is probably exhausted by it.

It must feel awful to feel she's failing at motherhood. I hope it goes well with her.

rootypig · 15/07/2014 18:09

To all the santimonious arses. It's not the mistakes you make in this life, it's how you deal with them. Go preach on another corner.

WaitMonkey · 15/07/2014 18:09

Sounds like she is in need of a friend. Glad you're going round, hope things go well. I also agree, some people are being ridiculous on this thread. Everyone enjoys a moan with a friend, that's all you did. Smile

zzzzz · 15/07/2014 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereTheWildlingsAre · 15/07/2014 18:10

Bowlersarm I was referring to those posters who have laughed at this, demanded to see the text, shrugged it off as nothing.

Not the op. not the ones trying to help op.

OorWullie · 15/07/2014 18:11

Oh dear! Mortifying, and even worse that the poor woman feels so crap about it.

nice of you to go round and show supoort and that you never really intended to be nasty though, maybe you'll end up making a good friend out of it?

Motherhood can be bloody hard alot of the time- I don't think you did anything wrong offloading to your friend, it's not as though you posted it publicly on facebook to intentionally shame the woman.

She'll be hurt but hopefully she will see that you didn't mean any harm.

Mrsfrumble · 15/07/2014 18:11

Bless you for going round to her. I too have a horror. I am well aware he's a horror, and DH and I work our arses off trying to improve his behaviour. He's only 3 so not many play dates yet, but sometimes I would like the opportunity to be honest and have a good cry and someone's shoulder about how hard it is instead of everyone standing around with tight-lipped smiles, politely remarking "Gosh, he's lively isn't he!".

You've given her that opportunity, albeit in less than ideal circumstances, so I hope you can give her some support and so good can come of this.

dilys4trevor · 15/07/2014 18:11

Oh and I just remembered that I once sent a text to my boss, bitching about him, meant for another colleague. He had left early on a Friday for social engagement (as he often did, leaving us to do the work) and I made a comment about it to her (but really to him).

As it was a Friday I spent the whole weekend sweating!

At the time I hadn't even realised until he replied saying 'I don't think that was meant for me.'

I just replied 'Busted.' And sweated.

He laughed it off on the Monday and said that I must feel like a twat. I did.

But we both had clearly made an effort to not make a fuss (and he WAS a piss taker). I had literally pretty much forgotten about it totally by the Wednesday.

This is more sensitive as it involves little darlings but you'd be surprised how fast it will fade. And seeing her TONIGHT will take away the biggest sting which would have been seeing her again in the playground for the first time since. This way, you have nothing else to face after tonight. And you may well end up having a lovely time over a bottle of wine. And she'll certainly feel better than she did earlier this afternoon.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/07/2014 18:12

Omg poor woman, she sounds really like she needs a friend right now Sad. Go round there with a box of choccies and some flowers and talk to her. It sounds like the boy is difficult for her too Sad. You said she is nice so be a friend.

Rabbitcar · 15/07/2014 18:13

You are definitely not a bitch OP. Good on you for going over. Ignore the sanctimonious types on here. If you were horrible, you wouldn't have felt bad at sending the text.

Iatemyskinnyperson · 15/07/2014 18:14

For future ref, if you use smartphone and send text in error, quickly flick on aeroplane mode... You can delete text without sending then...

But quelle horreur! Mortified for that poor mum

MyFairyKing · 15/07/2014 18:15

I'm not going to judge you for bitching but I think you were very silly for sending info like that in a text. You've learned the hard way - do not ever write it down!

I do think it's a wee bit disingenuous to say you were "speaking honestly", you weren't, you were bitching. Probably best to own your behaviour, so you both can move on with this.

You have definitely done the right thing by going round to hers. I'm sure she will appreciate it.

burgatroyd · 15/07/2014 18:15

Get her and wine! Apologise! Have a laugh! Its no buggy op! And you're not two faced. Just human.

Nannyplumismymum · 15/07/2014 18:15

Choosing not to bitch about a child using swears to amuse the recipient of the text is not being sanctimonious.

It's called seeing the big picture and having some empathy and understanding.

ExcuseTypos · 15/07/2014 18:16

So glad you've gone round.

It sounds like she needs some help and support. She might even agree with what you wrote and this might be the start of her trying to change her sons behaviour. No one wants a child who isn't welcome at a friends house.

notapizzaeater · 15/07/2014 18:17

Aw she probably needs someone to talk to.

Cyclebump · 15/07/2014 18:18

DS went through a horrible biting phase and I'm sure people texted each other about it. I certainly overheard people more than once discussing it. I was mortified rather than angry, but I understood when I heard one mum say she wished I would stop bringing him to playgroup, because I'd feel the same if it was the ther way round.

Go round, have a tea or wine together and discuss it. It's in the open now and, even if he is just 'bold', clearly she wants help dealing with it.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 15/07/2014 18:18

The op accidentally did something to make someone else feel bad. She is mortified.

I don't think it's empathic to deliberately make her feel bad in return.

SugarPlumTree · 15/07/2014 18:19

I think you're doing the right thing going round OP.

A friend of mine had someone round to play one night and then got a text from the boy's Mother being really nasty and saying how she had been shouting and was a right bitch amongst other things. It was clearly meant for someone else. She text back setting the record straight on a few points and the other Mother was totally unrepentant and said she was glad she'd sent it as there didn't need to be any pretence any more. My friend is really lovely and totally didn't deserve it.

Sounds like the other Mum in this situation could do with a friendly ear. Hope something positive can come out of it.

Whereisegg · 15/07/2014 18:22

You know you've messed up but imo it takes a big person to go round there, like you have.

Well done op, she needs a friend.

scottishmummy · 15/07/2014 18:22

Two options.

  1. If she ignores it,you ignore it.and it'll just sit between you,festering and unsaid
  2. If it gets raised you be open that it wasn't enjoyed,apologise for txt you sent
Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 15/07/2014 18:25

I was just going to say the same as Armani.
And agree with rootypig, you cocked up, you apologised and will now try and help this woman by a friendly act. We have all said things that we wished we hadn't, but it's how you deal with it that matters.

scottishmummy · 15/07/2014 18:26

Saw you're update,you're kind to go round.poor her,shes not failing
Might be you see each other kids at soft play etc but not your house,til its calmer
Nothing wrong in the txt,you were letting off steam.unfortunately wrong recipient

PlumpPartridge · 15/07/2014 18:28

I hope that you and the mum can have a good (or at least civil) conversation op.

Poor thing, that is really sad :(