Just sent wrong text to playdate horrors mother

[Fanfeckintastic]

Oh please help me I'm mortified!! I've just had a play date from HELL and to I went to text my best friend (who would find it hilarious) all about it, outlined everything horrible that he did but I sent it to the little boys mother. I feel like crying.

Is there anyway out of this, I used him name and I ended with "never to return again"

I'm not saying I have never bitched about anyone behind their back.

I have done, and then felt very ashamed, and apologised.

I'm not "holier than thou".

The OP asked why it was karma, and I explained.

The child may well have been a PITA, but two wrongs don't make a right, as they used to tell us at school.

Oh, it's the more cringey response but the better one as you two can actually have a discussion. She does need support.

Bold is not necessarily a bad thing?

Really glad you apologised

Glad you are going round. Maybe something good can come from it!

I actually feel bad for you both. MN has very high standards

Good luck

Feel for you MASSIVELY. Of course, we have all done it. I applaud and totally don't believe all the wonderful people on here who have never vented to a friend about someone's bad behaviour, child or not!

I agree that you should drive round when you can with wine. There must be something to recommend the child (your DC obviously likes the boy or you wouldn't have had him round). Other kids probably love him. You can say sorry for being a bit of a twat and reassure her that she is LOVELY and doing the best she can with a spirited boy!

A very close friend of mine has a DS who is actually quite unpleasant at times. She is lovely but I sometimes cannot help saying to DH or other friends in different circles how difficult I find him. I always worry one day she will suss I think that (maybe through a similar error).

Hope it works out op.

I have written similar messages to people after certain play dates etc.

I don't think I'm an awful person.

Hope she is ok though. Let us know how it goes.

No one is saying you can't be honest with a friend OP.

You just don't need to be unkind with it.

Do as you would be done by is a good start ( no I'm not religious).

In a strange way this text could actually be a blessing in disguise as the mum sounds like she's been struggling and needs help. It may have been worse if the text went to the right person and the OP simply stopped the play dates. Hopefully the OP and mum can now get together and work this through and the mum gets the support she needs.

ps, do a workout. that helps diffuse the embarrassment.

I posted something on somebody's fb a while back, they had had private settings and changed them to public. I posted something i thought would show up only on their page but it will have shown up on all my friends' too. no idea which ones read it of course. it was pretty excruciating for a week or two. I think I@m over it now because I have to be

Fan

I think you have dealt with your wrongly sent text admirably.

Owned up and apologised and now off round to see Mum.

As another poster said, could be the start of a lovely friendship.

Perhaps she knows her DC is hard work and didn't know how/where to ask for help.

Good for you !

Seen the update about you apologising and her saying 'I'm failing as a mum'.

In this circumstance that is clearly a sign for an olive branch and I'd try and meet up.

Speak for yourselves all others who say we have all done it ..
I certainly have not bitched about a child using swears in a text message to somebody who would find it amusing.

I would suggest emigrating OP. Quick. But that's not the answer really and you're doing the right thing. I hope your chat with her both helps her and enables you not to cock up like this again.

WhereThe but the OP does feel really bad about it. Mortified is the word she used. And that she feels like crying. And now she's put herself in the crucifying position of turning up on her doorstep to apologise/smooth things over.

I think posters are trying to help the OP with their sympathy because she rightly feels so awful.

Going round with wine may help. She may pour it over your head or she may not take it. She may reach out and you can help her.

I feel desperately sorry for her.

Oh OP I'm cringing for you because I have done things like this (more often with email). I don't think it's karma, if there is anyone on this thread who hasn't ever had a bitch or a bit of a kvetch about a stressful situation like this, I will eat my hat. I swear loads and totally understand that too. Other people's kids can be horribly hard work and you were letting off steam.

I would reply saying something along those lines. "I am very sorry, I did not cope well with X today and I was letting off steam, it was meant for a friend in private and I never meant to upset you." I wouldn't go round, she may not feel like seeing you. If the friendship ends, well you live and learn. Maybe you will patch it up. Let her take the lead. You have to accept you will have offended her, but I don't agree with all the holier-than-thou judgmental comments on here. Shit happens.

Good luck with your wine.

Sorry see you're going round, hope it went OK.

Aw I'm glad you're going round with wine - who knows you might end up good mates

I wonder how many of the people telling OP it's karma can say they've never, ever bitched on here about some one that's annoyed them? Even if you haven't started a thread I wonder if you've commented negatively about the person that those ops are complaining about in those threads. Is that not bitching? Surely telling someone that it's karma is in itself judgemental.

Yes, it also shows a total lack of understanding of what karma actually means.

Well done done for facing her, that's very brave.

I did something similar about ten years ago, but about an acquaintance rather than a child. It was awful but I apologised profusely and we worked it out (she was, understandably, angry). I haven't done anything like it since, it was mortifying.

Oh God. She does sound like she needs a friend. Hope something good comes out of this. it was a pretty funny story though, wasn't it

This might actually turn out to be a lovely heartwarming story.

Good on you OP for not only standing up and admitting you were wrong, but going round to try and support the mum.

Yes I have been less forgiving about my good friends ds7 when he pushed my dd who has ASD over and said he hated her. He was and nasty to her. I did tell me other close friend about him.