The back and forth on this thread has got me thinking (probably unwise). It reminded my of a blog post I read recently (here). I'd recommend the post, and the blog, but for those of you who don't make it that far, here's the relevant bit.
The blog post is called "Oh, that's good! No, that's bad! A philosophy you don't want to live by". It includes the transcript of this zen koan:
There was an old farmer who worked hard on his little farm. There was never any money left over, but the farmer did have one sturdy, fine horse that helped the man and his young adult son with the farm labor.
One morning the farmer woke to find that the horse had broken out of the pen, and ran away. The neighbors came over, shaking their heads. They told the farmer that he had very bad luck. The farmer replied, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”
The next morning when the farmer woke, he found that his sturdy, fine horse had returned, bringing with him a small herd of wild horses. The neighbors came over, nodding their heads. They told the farmer that he had very good luck. The farmer replied, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”
Early the next morning, the farmer’s son was out breaking the new horses. The young man was tossed off a wild horse, and his leg broke. It was a bad injury, and the son would not be able to work for months. The neighbors came over, shaking their heads. They told the farmer he had very bad luck. The farmer replied, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”
The next morning, the army came through the village conscripting all young men to go and fight. His son could not go.
Good luck, bad luck? Who knows?
I really like the story.
This situation is different, because we're not talking about luck, but a mistake that the OP made, and the outcome was within her power. Equally I think it illustrates the problems with being so quick to judgement. Of events, and of other people.
Nanny and zzzzz, the warmth and humanity of the two women we've been talking about on this thread have created what might be a fantastic friendship out of an excruciating moment. It's exactly that warmth and humanity that your posts have lacked, and that you seemed to want to crush. Treating life with a little lightness and humour not only makes it easier to bear, but is a form of kindness in itself. It leaves the way open for new ways of being.
There, now we're disagreeing.