AIBU to think that 35 is too old...

[teeththief]

...have another baby?

I had my egg load tested when I was 43 and still trying to have no. 2 - it was high enough that I was almost on the polycystic ovary level! (Although I have no other symptoms of that so it wasn't an option). In fact, that was an extrapolation anyway as, iirc, the chart stopped at 42...

Oh, yes, that's the point I was trying to make: fertility is very personal and I suppose the 'fertility cliff after 35' is just as wrong a sweeping statement as 'we should all have our babies in our late teens'
However, that is what biology intended - thank goodness, we are not slaves to that anymore. And of course generalisations will always be wrong for a lot of people.

King1982 Very good post - people rarely look at having kids young from that perspective. Plus at 70 you could be looking after your parents while your children are looking after their grandchildren.

What worries me is the numbers of people who are too worn out in their twenties/early 30s to contemplate more children when they've still got around 40 years to go of their working lives.

Like some of the other posters personally for me anything over 30 was too old. I had dd3 at 26 and was treated as an older mum by medical staff. I wanted to be young enough to be able to do stuff with my children. I feel really sorry for teenages thats parents in their late 50s early 60s. We also wanted to be reasonably young grandparent's so we can help out loats with them and be able to run around and keep up with wee one's.

it is a hugely personal choice though and I certainly wouldn't judge anyone for being an older mum each side will have advantages and disadvantages.

Most of the parents in DS1s school are older than me- so 30s plus. My mum had me at 34, so certainly not too old.

For me, I am not having any more children, I feel too old and too poor!

"I had dd3 at 26 and was treated as an older mum by medical staff."

Gosh- when and in what country? Certainly not in the UK in the last 25 years or so!

" I feel really sorry for teenages thats parents in their late 50s early 60s"

Why?

Im 30 and the midwife said I was an old mum this time when I asked her why I had dizzy spells

I will be older than I am now (37) whenever I have my first baby. I would prefer to have been younger but I don't feel old and it can't be helped!

Is it really nice for kids to have older parents though, that's the question for me. A friend of mine with older parents used to lie to schoolmates and tell them her mum was her grandmother. Aside from the health risks too that unfortunately do happen despite people wearing their rose tinted specs, why would anyone want to spend those late years doing the school run and bringing up toddlers into their late thirties/forties. It's not for me and I don't agree with it, but each to their own.

'Twas certainly too old for me...

I suppose it might depend on how old said parents look, eh?
I'm not being vain (honestly! I have nothing to be vain about) but people are always shocked when I tell them how old I am. There has never been an issue with people thinking I am DS1's grandma - although one GP I visited shortly after having DS2 (a locum, never met me, only seen my details on the screen) did suggest I was his grandma. Might have helped him to read past my age and see the "just gave birth" part idiot

Hakluyt doesn't make sense to me either.

Dumdum surely 50/60 is the age you are planning to be young grandparents running round with the dgc, doing loads with them and helping out lots? I thought you were saying that at that age you aren't physically capable of having that much energy?

Reading this thread has made me a bit sad. I had my first at 20. I wish I'd waited because I feel like I'm missing out on what should be the best years of my life. 35 is definitely not too old.

I get on the bus as a child and when the gas man came round he asked dh and I if our parents were in. Doesnt change the fact on paper I am an older mum

I've loved having my dd in my late thirties and dp is 10 years older than me

I love both being comfortable enough in our careers that I can be part time and afford lots of treats for her. Life is more settled for me later in life. We have a beautiful home and garden and none of the stresses from my twenties....

However had I not left it this late.... she may have had a sibling that hurts a bit ....and I do worry a tad about being oap parents

Swings and roundabouts I guess

feeling like an old mum and being treated like an old mum at 26?!!!! One of the silliest things I've read here and I've read many many silly things.

Not at all, I'm 31 this month and haven't managed 1 yet despite 7 years trying, not ideal but sometimes it can't be helped

I had dd3 at 26 and was treated as an older mum by medical staff.

Sorry WHEN was this and WHERE!?! My mum had kids in the 70s (I'm mid 30s) between her late 20s and mid 30s and wasn't treated as a weirdly older mother (we discussed this as my grandmother had her late due to her husband being in the army and health issues, so was an older mother by the medical standards of the day).
People had their 1st earlier, not their last.
A midwife i know said it varied wildly from place to place - if they get a locum from the countryside they think EVERYONE in my city hospital is too young (under 25) or too old (over 30) because of their mindset not medical fact.

Not too long ago had dd early 2012 and in central scotland. Was constantly referred to as an older mother by several medical staff throughout my pregnancy.

I had a friend who had parents in their late 50s early 60s and while they werw lovely people and still are she was embarrassed by their age, hated them going to anything at the school/dancing etc. I had holidays with them and the difference between them and my parents then in their 30s) was huge. She always preferred spending time with us. I have seen first hand the negative side of having older parents and while for some it may not be an issue it. It is for me.

Im the same dum. I said I have dizzy spells more this time and never had them before midwife said combination of low blood pressure and age. Its definitely not to do with what I look like as 2 years ago we went out and ordered food with my mum and I said pizza and the guy brought me a child meal as he just assumed I was 15!

Blimey

Im 30 and the midwife said I was an old mum this time when I asked her why I had dizzy spells
As an aside ... supervisor of midwives. NOTHING to do with being 30, but needs checking out - your midwife was wrong and if this has been recent get your blood pressure checked.
I had a nurse tell me pregnancy issues were down to age when they weren't, because she couldn't be bothered to refer me. In a sick way, I was grateful I'd had miscarriages all my life because I could say no it wasn't and insist on seeing an expert (who treated me and now I can have a baby :) ).

Billybob lol. Great image of all these 40 year olds on zimmer frames taking the dcs to stay and play rather than being sensible and spending their final 40+ years in a retirement home.

I was over 40 when I had my DD. There are days when I'm tired, BUT those are usually following nights when she's woken me at 5am.
I wouldn't rule out having another. Even though that'd make me ancient by the time that one had hit their teens!