AIBU to think that 35 is too old...

[teeththief]

...have another baby?

Had my one and only DC at 36. Not too old.

I'm 36 and considering dc3, I don't think it's too old but I worry personally that it might be harder to conceive or have a healthy pregnancy but it seems lots of women do it!

Metal my current pregnancy, aged 36, is my accidental one. I found it far harder to conceive my other DCs, who I had aged 30 and 33. DC2 required medical assistance. So nothing is set in stone!

Had DS and turned 35 6 months later. Had DD at 40. So nope!

why would anyone want to spend those late years doing the school run and bringing up toddlers into their late thirties/forties. It's not for me and I don't agree with it

Because I've travelled the world, had a fantastic education, sown my wild oats, calmed down and wised up and met a lovely bloke who makes a brilliant dad. I respect your decision that it isn't for you... but why on earth do you think you have a right to "not agree with it"? If a parent is a good one, then great. If they aren't, ouch. Age doesn't determine that.

I disagree with people having kids who aren't fit to parent, or who fail to do so. Otherwise, it's none of my damn business, is it? Perhaps that's maturity speaking, though.

I remember one of these threads on NMs.
There was a woman on there who thought it was 'dicusting' that women over 35 had kids. She wanted hers young (fair enough) and said that because she had her baby when she was 19/20 they would be great mates when the baby was a teenager and she (the poster) would be much more in touch with teenagers and what they did.

Oh how I laughed and laughed.

And laughed.

Another one thought it was not only important to have your kids young enough so you could run around after them when you were a grandmother but when you were a great grandmother!

So if any of you have daughters approaching 13/14 you better start getting them paired off. You don't want them on the shelf and childless at 17

This may be fairly offensive to anyone living in North Wales, and if so then I apologise, but it's what I was told by a friend some years ago - her family (in North Wales) were horrified that she wasn't married and with children by 21, she was clearly on the shelf! They were actually worried about her single state. She wasn't, of course! but all her cousins were married with children by then.

Are there still some areas of the UK where it's more "normal" to have children almost straight out of school?

As an "older Mother" I wouldn't dream of judging someones ability to parent based on them being "too young" likewise I can only assume that anyone judging so called older mothers is therefor uneducated and prejudiced.

Surely it is any half-decent's mother's darn duty to be as mortifyingly embarrassing as humanly possible for her children whatever her age?

Well North Wales is an extremely large area to generalise about but in my area of it there are mothers of all ages.

I had DS the day after my 33nd birthday. I've never had a single comment, from anyone, about my age. Complimentary or otherwise.

I must be odd because I know hardly anyone who started their families in their twenties. My sisters and cousins had their babies in their teens and my friends and colleagues in their mid-thirties onwards.

I'm surrounded on all sides by mothers who were Doing It Wrong. Must explain why I think it's a wholly personal decision.

I also wonder if some of the posters on here are the same ones who get all bosom-hoiky on S&B when women over 35 mention wearing shorts or miniskirts.

I was 35 and 37. No problems conceiving. I wasn't ready until then so it was the right time for me.

ooooh
I wear shorts and mini skirts too!
Do I win?

Ha! Devere

Out of interest where ARE these places in the UK where women 35+ are greying Country Casual clad matrons with fingers too gnarled to change nappies?

Not anywhere I know, Tondelayo!

Although I remember being told by an Irish friend that I should really get my long hair cut because I was "getting too old to have long hair" - I was 35 at the time!

I've not seen a really good shorts at 40 thread for a while now you mention it, tondelayo. Maybe they've all migrated here!

I went to a MN meet up in shorts. I didn't know it was a thing

Oh Devere, every time a woman over 40 wears shorts, a fairy dies. Didn't you know?

I think you got confused. Plenty of women have babies at 35 years or older, but its a risk leaving it until 35 to start a family. For some women fertility drops off like a cliff at 35, so its best to start sooner as the risks of infertility get bigger.

From a health and fitness point of view most women are more than capable of looking after children beyond 35.

I am laughing like a drain, Devere that someone who has children at 19/20yrs is going to be best friends with their teenager! I don't know what planet some people live on! It is all to do with personality and nothing to do with age. (Probably the same people who want a girl because all girls are best friends with their mother! )

My fertility did not drop off- it is a huge mistake to assume it will. I was pregnant the first time of trying at 29 and 39.
I am very puzzled as to how anyone can afford a baby aged 19/20 yrs. do they have older partners or parental financial support?
DH and I couldn't possibly have afforded it before at least 26yrs and we didn't have tuition fees or debts.

My 72 year old mother-in-law wears shorts. Still plenty of fairies around here.

My mother keeps mentioning my hair. Now I am 41 I really should have a nice sensible bob. I think she will go ape if I tell her about my lovely minidress that I am saving since before I had DD (3 years ago) to wear when I have finally shifted the weight. She disapproved of the dress when I was 37, at pushing 42 I think I will end up being sectioned by her!

Not a cliff in sight

It is a bit of a lottery and I agree nobody should bank on being able to conceive at any age - If you only start trying at 35 you simply has less time to find out whether you find it easy or difficult to conceive.

I've never worn miniskirts - don't have the legs and never have done [sadface]