Fairly sure that a family member has gone routing through our caravan, are we overreacting?

[NotActuallyAMum]

We’ve got a static caravan, it’s very much our second home full of our belongings which we leave in it to save us carrying everything to and fro

Because we’re not going this weekend (a rarity) one of my brothers asked if he could go today for a long weekend, which was fine by us. He then asked if his DD and her DP could go yesterday, which again we didn’t have a problem with. When we left last weekend we cleared some space for them to put their stuff on – plenty of room for them, especially as they will eat/go out most of the time. We gave his DD and her DP a key earlier in the week and told them that my brother needs to ring us when he gets there as there’s another key in the caravan but it’s hidden and they won’t find it

My brother has just phoned to say that his DDs DP has found the key – he “saw it as a challenge when you said he wouldn’t find it and he wasn’t going to give up until he did”

The key was in a cupboard in one of those ‘safe tins’ that looks like a tin of food – we just can’t believe he found it, there is loads of storage space in the caravan. OK he may have gone straight to the cupboard that it was in and found it pretty much straight away but really what are the chances of that?

DH and I are absolutely fuming and we want to say something, what would you do?

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

"apart from the kitchen which is where you kept your key"

No it isn't. It was in the bedroom!

Bearbehind - i dislike your accusations of hypocrisy, but I'm losing the will to live on this one. I will continue not to look through wardrobes in other people's properties; you do whatever works for you.

[QOD]

Yanbu

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Whatever5 - the can wasn't in a kitchen cupboard, it was in a bedroom cupboard, behind and under other stuff - the OP said it was "...behind a box of beer, underneath the beach mat/towels in a bag with a few 'proper' tins/packets of food that we couldn't fit in the kitchen..."

[LIZS]

Why mention the spare key in the first place ? op could have just told her brother if he had asked for one.

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

Why did the brother mention it to the DN and her DP, that's a good question.

[diddl]

I think that the way you mentioned the key is odd tbh.

Why not just tell where the spare was from the offset?

But I think the rooting for it was wrong.

[NotActuallyAMum]

BillinTed I mentioned it to my niece when she picked up her key, she asked if I'd spoken to her Dad to sort out when he's going etc. and I said yes, there's a spare key in the caravan he's going to ring me when he gets there because he won't find it. It really was a simple comment and an answer to her question. Her DP obviously heard the conversation and "saw it as a challenge"

Someone asked if we had met my niece's DP - yes we've met him a few times over the years (they've been together a while) at family parties and when we've bumped into them at my brothers house but that's it

For those asking about his age, I don't know exactly how old he is but I know he's older than my niece so that makes him at least 26

We decided against saying something in end, mainly because we didn't think it was fair to take it up with my brother - it was never his fault. He brought the key back yesterday

[NotActuallyAMum]

diddl they didn't need the key, and I didn't tell my brother where it was because I didn't think he'd remember all the go to A, open B, move C, lift up D etc. My brother was quite happy to ring me when he arrived, there was no need for my niece's DP to get involved

[OnlyLovers]

'it makes no fecking difference if it's a kitchen drawer or the bedside drawer in the room you are sleeping in.'

It wouldn't cross my mind to go in someone's bedroom – a private space – and rummage through the drawers. A kitchen, being a public room, is totally different. If you can't see a difference I genuinely think you're missing a bit of social awareness.

And for the umpteenth time, GET THE DETAILS RIGHT. It was NOT in the room they were sleeping in; it was in the OP's bedroom.

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

Thanks OP.

[BillnTedsMostFeministAdventure]

I think I would still say something to him, or to your brother - doesn't have to be accusatory of your brother.

In the meantime - what about sticking up a set of house rules in the caravan - so it's impersonal? Something like "remember, this is our home with our things, not a holiday let - so put your things on the empty shelves, towels are in the top cupboard, please don't disturb out bedroom except to put the electricity on, if you can't find something, Tesco is down the road or call me!"

[diddl]

I simply wouldn't let them stay again, and tell them why if they asked.