AIBU to find faddy eating habits annoying.

[runningonwillpower]

I have just spent some time with an extreme faddy eater. No special dietary needs, just preferences expressed volubly as a need.

I have preferences but because I eat a wide and varied diet, my choices have to take second place, always.

Is it really ok to dismiss perfectly ordinary food as disgusting (as I'm eating it) just because it's not your preferred choice? Is it really ok to insist on your choice of restaurant because nothing else suits?

What do people really think about the faddy eater? Should we accommodate them? Always?

I don't even know why it irritates me, it just does.

I think it depends on the reason tbh. If not due to sen, or illness, in grown adults it can be very frustrating - dh was a fussy eater when we met. Mainly because fil was, and mil indulged him, dh and sil by sometimes cooking 3 different evening meals. He grew up only eating his 'favourite' food.

He didn't eat tomatoes (but loved spaghetti bolognese)

Would only eat lamb if it hadn't had a sniff of mint in its lifetime.

Didn't eat penne pasta. (Any other shape was fine though)

Only ate certain brands of food eg: Richmond sausages.

There were loads more, but since having dd I've put my foot down and he now understands that grown adults don't get to just eat their favourite foods every day.

I threatened to only eat lobster and fillet steak washed down with champagne every night til he bucked his ideas up!

Only ate certain brands of food eg: Richmond sausages.

I recognise that. Can't eat fresh salmon, can't eat smoked salmon but will eat tinned salmon. But only if it's John West. FFS!!!

And yes Mim78 - I do wonder sometimes if it is a control thing.

Please note that intolerances are very real. They may look fussy or faddy, but the person suffering from them has to alter their life dramatically to avoid the impact. I can rarely eat out or get takeaways, people are less apt to invite us over for meals and to be honest, I have had to become quite hesitant to eat anything I have not prepared myself at home.

DS and I are both dairy intolerant, but show no sign of dairy allergy (skin prick tests at multiple allergists, NHS and private). With DS, who is 5, butter in single biscuit makes him seem like he has ADHD, stops him sleeping, makes him clumsy and he then appears to be autistic (what CAMHS calls an "autistic defence"). Birthday parties and school dinners are a nightmare, but we seem to have got it under control now. A tiny bit of dairy and he is a different (very challenging) child.

With me, I get breathless, clammy, nauseous and bloated with extremely rank farts. Depending on the quantity consumed, and how long I've had to hold the rapidly building farts in, I then get severe cramps and explosive diarrhoea. I also get sinusitis within a few hours. Can't move my head around as it feels like someone is bashing it with a hammer.

You wouldn't know that though as I am very, very careful to avoid getting ill and learned to hide my (uncomfortable and antisocial) symptoms from a young age.

Since having my son, I have also developed a wheat intolerance, again not picked up by allergy testing. If I eat anything with wheat in it (soya sauce, gravies, crumbs from the toaster) my joints swell, I get breathless, clumsy, forgetful, and psoriasis appears on my scalp and elbows. It takes a few days to return to normal. It is debilitating, but again, not something that the medical profession is able to clinically diagnose.

Yes, some people can be fussy, but please do not discount the impact that food can have on people's quality of life. I do occasionally eat in restaurants, with friends or for special events, and even when I am very careful about what and how I order, I usually end up suffering afterwards. If you don't have intolerances yourself, then count yourself lucky and try to be more compassionate.

Most people on here are expressing frustration about people with allergies and intolerances but about people who for other, non-medical reasons have a very limited palate and by design or default limit others' food choices as a consequence. Honestly, most people have nothing at all against those with intolerances, even if they are self-diagnosed. I have an allium intolerance which has never been formally been diagnosed but is real enough.

It's fairly easy to work out food you have intolerance to, I don't understand why people get annoyed if it's not diagnosed by a doctor. Doing an elimination diet to check doesn't need a doctor. And since I already deal with disabilities, I just like to ensure I'm eating for that won't spoil my pleasure in eating with yucky symptoms after. Without medicalising it.

Although I do use one intolerance to help with constipation, dairy makes my gut go mad, so half a carton of nice ice cream and guaranteed trip to the toilet is useful.

Many members of my family can't seem to tolerate meat, I dislike foods that have a high water density for taste/sensory reasons. My cousin has proper gluten allergy, I've considered trying an elimination diet to see if that improves my pain symptoms. Lots of reasons to appear fussy, but you aren't.

Somone earlier mentioned a lactose intolerant friend eating cheese.
DD1 is like this, milk, cream or ice cream all leave her with a sore, upset stomach. The more she has, the worse it is.
She can eat as much hard cheese and yogurt as I will let her though. According to our GP cheese and yogurt have less lactose so if you have a milder intolerance you can cope with these.

A relative is like this.
Won't eat anything that is vaguely 'different' and sticks their nose up at what you're eating if he doesn't like it. Prime example would be steak cooked rare, curry or sea food like mussels or prawns.
We HAVE to eat where he wants which is a pub or Harvester type place. Which whilst both fine are DULL every other week. He'll order the same combination of food and act like a complete child about it. Asking the waiter if they have x because 'I don't like anything here' it's done in such an attention seeking, child like way and I dislike the pandering to it. Won't even go to a Chinese place despite the numerous promises that they have chips.
'No I don't like it'

It's not dislike of food I have a problem with. I don't like mushrooms so I don't want to eat them, it's the huge fuss that's caused, the childlike attention seeking and the whinging.
And the worst part is, more often than not it's not that he doesn't LIKE the food, it's that he hasn't tried it, doesn't like it because it's 'forin' or plain basically wants to cause a fuss and get a bit of attention.

I grew tired of it a long time ago.

Said person is 50.