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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find faddy eating habits annoying.

132 replies

runningonwillpower · 08/07/2014 14:14

I have just spent some time with an extreme faddy eater. No special dietary needs, just preferences expressed volubly as a need.

I have preferences but because I eat a wide and varied diet, my choices have to take second place, always.

Is it really ok to dismiss perfectly ordinary food as disgusting (as I'm eating it) just because it's not your preferred choice? Is it really ok to insist on your choice of restaurant because nothing else suits?

What do people really think about the faddy eater? Should we accommodate them? Always?

I don't even know why it irritates me, it just does.

OP posts:
Original poster
runningonwillpower · 08/07/2014 15:22

*I find fussy eaters irritating if they involve me in any way shape or form.

I class 'having to listen to them' as involving me.*

Yes to that.

OP posts:
bonzo77 · 08/07/2014 15:25

YANBU if they affect you, if the faddy eater makes a song and dance about it. My SIL is a faddy eater. If she eats out she picks something she thinks will be ok, then picks out anything she doesn't fancy. Easy. And if she eats at ours and I want to cook something she doesn't like she has one of the kids' veggie burgers. Again, easy. Her mother though loves to make a drama of sil's eating (and her own). Eye roll

Chocoholic36 · 08/07/2014 15:26

I don't have a problem with fussy eaters at all. Eat what you want and how you want BUT I would have a major problem with someone commenting on what I was eating because they didn't like it. To me that is unreasonable.

Mintyy · 08/07/2014 15:30

Yanbu. I am irritated by fussy eaters, but people who comment on other people's food that they are eating and enjoying absolutely give me the fucking rage. How dare she try and put you off your meal. Is she a bit thick?

Perfectlypurple · 08/07/2014 15:30

I have a major problem with people telling me the food I eat is boring and I should eat what they eat. I don't discuss my fussiness. It's the non fussy eaters that bring it up and make it into a big deal.

squoosh · 08/07/2014 15:30

Everyone has a few things that make them think 'yuck', that's fine.

Vocally fussy eaters are irritating and make for dull guests.

Fussy eaters (whether vocal or otherwise) make for crap lovers.*

*Based on my very unscientific study.

superstarheartbreaker · 08/07/2014 15:30

Yanbu. I don't really care what other people choose to stuff their faces with so if people comment on my food I'd be Hmm

Droflove · 08/07/2014 15:36

You are totally totally not being unreasonable. I find fussiness about food completely self indulgent and childish. Its ok if you are under five yrs old to some extent but I find that people being fussy with food and worse, saying it out loud to other adults really makes me lower my estimation of them. Not wanting to eat unhealthy food is a different thing and is more tolerable but I think if someone serves you up something you eat it. Every time! I lived in a country where it is shameful not to appreciate all food in all its flavours and smells and shapes so I can't help feeling a bit ashamed of people who don't eat this and dont eat that. (Unless for medical reasons).

apermanentheadache · 08/07/2014 15:37

Squoosh your post made me laugh!

Fussy eaters who seek to control others through their fussy eating, or who won't try new things, drive me nuts. I live with 2 fussy eaters and I get utterly sick of eating the same things week in, week out, because they like familiarity. It is stultifyingly boring.

Mrsjayy · 08/07/2014 15:47

Fussy faddy eaters are fine if they just shush about it their is always something they can eat, I hate glutten free if you are intolerent it makes you ill just not a little bit of bloating and farting, I am sick of hearing women harp on about gluten fucking free,

spence24 · 08/07/2014 15:48

I was an incredibly fussy eater until I was 21. It was incredibly limiting, but I just had it in my head that there were only certain foods I could eat. I got to the point where I was so unhealthy I couldn't get up the stairs to my flat without sweating, so I spent the next five years working so hard to break what was until then a lifetime habit.

Despite this, I constantly surprise myself now at just how intolerant I am of other fussy/faddy eaters, when I know exactly where they're coming from! I feel really put out when I have to make different meals when friends visit, or we have to bicker over restaurants - and I'm not even smug about no longer being fussy, it's just developed into a pet peeve!

Mrsjayy · 08/07/2014 15:51

Dd has been at this weightlifting keep fit class for a while she has started going on about protein and carbs turning her nose up at dinners poited her in the direction of the shop and told her to take her bank card with her if my food wasnt good enough

Mrsjayy · 08/07/2014 15:52

Oh dear I need a their there and they're tutorial

TheBookofRuth · 08/07/2014 15:53

Going on about what you won't eat is boring. Going on about what other people do or don't eat is rude.

I have experience of the latter, but not because I'm a fussy eater, in fact it's the opposite. I am quite an adventurous eater and really hate it when people screw up their faces and go "urgh, that's disgusting, I could never eat that!"

Just as well as I wasn't going to share anyway, now be quiet and let me enjoy my meal!

Original poster
runningonwillpower · 08/07/2014 15:56

So far, the posts have helped me identify why I find it annoying.

Vocally fussy eaters have to have their favourite foods all the time - like a child. (I have no problem with the quietly fussy.)

The rest of us accept that we can't always have our favourite - and just get on with it.

That's my summation. Not fair?

OP posts:
CrystalSkulls · 08/07/2014 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hoppinggreen · 08/07/2014 15:58

I don't mind people with preferences and my DD hs a lot of food issues tHt verge on phobias but I do mind FUSSY eater, ie people who make a fuss!!
It's the " oh I can't possibly eat xyz so everyone needs to run around after me while I'm a big drama queen" I find annoying. There are a coupe of things that give me terrible indigestion and wind but I've never and a problem avoiding them and I never turn it into a drama.

CuriosityCola · 08/07/2014 16:00

I don't find faddy eaters annoying. One of my friends is incredibly fussy. I'm not fussy at all, so happy to eat where she feels comfortable with the food choices. (She doesn't make a dramatic song and dance about it though). We did once go to a new vegetarian restaurant on her recommendation and had to leave as everything on the menu was spicy. Grin

Unfortunately, it can sometimes end up being something the fussy eater feels defines them. I think those are the ones more prone to kick up a fuss. I had a Uni friend with quite similar food tastes to me....not a big meat eater. She would start panicking about the mere mention of food. The ordering and picking at food was painful. Hers turned out to be more of a confidence problem. She didn't realise she could say no red onions etc...

Bifauxnen · 08/07/2014 16:00

Sometimes it takes a thread to help people identify exactly what it is that's bugging them.

maddening · 08/07/2014 16:08

Yabu - find something you hate and eat it

I have ibs, am vegetarian and cannot handle spicy food so I guess you would consider me faddy but what I do and don't like is fuck all to do with you.

if I was asked to go for a meal as in a group of friends no particular event I would suggest a place which served food I might like but for a persons party and cases of being outvoted I will go along anywhere and try and find bits I like eg will have an omelette in a Chinese or indian.

yabu - it is harder for us restricted folk and why would you want people who you apparently enjoy spending time with to eat something that makes them feel sick - it isn't nice to be so intolerant of other people's differences.

7Days · 08/07/2014 16:11

God food is a minefield isn't it

How much space on MN gets taken up by food

Recipe threads
BF threads
weaning
Weight loss
Lunch box threads
What can I wear to this occasion I'm size x
shopping list threads
meal planning
fat: bashing
fat: defending
fat: politics of
fat: psychology of
Is sugar etc evil
my child won't eat x

There must be more too that I can't think of

Pregnantberry · 08/07/2014 16:12

But Crystal, a 'fad' implies a person is doing something just to be part of some trend, definitely not someone who has sensory issues or a genuine reason to not want to eat certain foods.

maddening · 08/07/2014 16:13

Ps it is fuck all to do with "favourite" it is what doesn't make me feel ill and not meat for me. Most of the time when going with someone elses choice of restaurant it is finding the one thing to make do with.

hence when I choose a restaurant I try and accomodateeeveryone's tastes - why would you want to make your friend pay for food they don't like?

Mrsjayy · 08/07/2014 16:14

Tbf you have an illness( I have bowel issues I neec to watch what what I eat) and you dont eat meat that isnt what the op is on about

Rhine · 08/07/2014 16:14

It's just childish behaviour IMO. I have a acquaintance who, whenever we go out, will always order the same thing, usually a steak baguette or a burger and then when it comes will proceed to dissect it slowly, pulling it apart and staring it at it like it's laced with cyanide or something. The faces she pulls whilst doing it makes her look like she's about to eat dog shit not a meal, it's embarrassing.

Then you have my dad, who I appreciate won't ever change now, but he is just a total and utter nightmare to eat out with. Before we go anywhere for a meal we will have to check menu to make sure there is something he will eat, i.e steak and chips, chicken and chips, steak and ale pie and chips or a roast dinner. I say roast dinner, but it had to be served with potatoes and plain veg such as carrots, peas and cauliflower only. He will not eat mashed potatoes, or "fancy stuff" as he calls it.

Do these people not realise how difficult they make the lives of family and friends?