AIBU to find faddy eating habits annoying.

[runningonwillpower]

I have just spent some time with an extreme faddy eater. No special dietary needs, just preferences expressed volubly as a need.

I have preferences but because I eat a wide and varied diet, my choices have to take second place, always.

Is it really ok to dismiss perfectly ordinary food as disgusting (as I'm eating it) just because it's not your preferred choice? Is it really ok to insist on your choice of restaurant because nothing else suits?

What do people really think about the faddy eater? Should we accommodate them? Always?

I don't even know why it irritates me, it just does.

I have a friend who will not let a carb touch her lips. And I mean not one grain of rice. Not a crouton. Not even a nut from a snack tray. The last time she ate chocolate was in 1990 and even then she said she ate it by mistake.

This is not because carbs make her ill, but because she associates them with bloating and , I am guessing, weight gain. She was doing Atkins/Dukan before it was even popular to do it.

But she is not anorexic. She eats plenty of fat (oils, avocado, butter) it's just carbs she hates.

Add to that she will also not eat red meat or any type of cheese - but that is easier to avoid.

The carbs refusal is extremely hard to deal with when eating out/having her for dinner. I find that I am constantly worrying about her preferences and wondering what there is for her, if there are mainly carbs available.

It annoys me because we often have to go out of our way for her. Buy special things, go to particular restaurants. We take her out for dinner a lot (she has no money) and she has to know in advance (at least 3 hours in advance) what restaurant we are going to, so she can pick what she is going to eat from the online menu. There is a big control issue here I think.

I didn't think nuts were carbs

I have a tomato allergy (hospital trip kind of allergy) which is an absolute PITA when someone suggests Italian food.

It makes me feel awkward. I hate that.

I wouldn't eat an animal I'd kept as a pet. That includes cats, rabbits, crab, fish, chinchilla and hamster (although not sure if hamster cooking is a thing).

Anything else I'll eat.

SiL is an atention seeking fussy. Is really embarrasing.

Also have some Muslim friends who sometimes eat pork and alcohol and sometimes don't. They seem to decide on a whim..!

mrsjayy.

I think "Yay Frankie & Bennys has gluten free at last!" is one of my favourite FB updates ever!

A girl I used to work with would loudly talk about her intolerance to wheat, then we all went to Pizza Express and she ordered dough balls, pizza and chocolate cake with no ill effects!

Another friend is apparently lactose intolerant and won't drink milk, however she eats cheese like it's going out of fashion, again with no ill effects. However, she is very quick to tell anyone who will listen how sick lactose makes her.

This kind of fussy eating makes me cross! As do the people who don't like things they've never tried.

DP is a fussy eater - his diet is rather limited and any meal out somewhere new needs examination of menus to ensure he will eat something.

He cannot abide most vegetables for no other reason that inexplicably he didn't eat them as a child. He always left them, then his Mum stopped putting them on his plate. I was shocked at this - I love vegetables and fruit and will try almost anything once. DP hadn't eaten steak until he met me (he was 27) and slowly he is started to appreciate and even enjoy some foods he didn't before. If I want fish or a vegetable heavy dinner like stir fry I either eat it with friends or cook it on his evening shifts.

Weekly shops annoy me as I like to try and experiment with recipes but we often just end up eating the same meals to prevent having to adapt a recipe/go out of my way to make his different.

Food phobias do exist!

In my experience those suffering this just want to blend into the background. They do not want people commenting on it. Normally they will quietly decline an evening out.

This issue isn't just allergies, some folk can't stand the thought of force feeding themselves food they find repulsive.

Anyone one who makes an open fuss, perhaps does not fit into the above situation.

Meh. I'm a fussy eater. It's embarrassing for me in public or when visiting friends. I wouldn't say that somebody elses food was disgusting though.

I'm actually really proud of the fact that I ate blueberries and managed to swallow them for the first time last week, and can now eat them without gagging.

I'm a vegetarian but only ate sweetcorn until I was 16. My Mum never cooked them for me as I didn't want to eat them. The tastes and textures freak me out, and feel 'wrong' in some things. In the nine years since I turned 16 I've managed to start eating other things too, but I struggle and it's constant baby steps. I can't eat tomatoes, things like mushrooms, peppers and courgettes I can eat sometimes, but if the mental effort to ignore what I'm eating is too much I pick it out. I can't eat salad, I've tried and I still can't work it out, the textures are all wrong to me.

I'm also gluten free. This drives people mad because I'm not a coeliac. However it causes symptoms (from my currently undiagnosed fibro/CFS/whatever it is) to flare up, turns my head into a foggy mess and sets my bladder off for some reason, so I mostly eat gluten free. I slip up occasionally, or have it if I am going out and it's easier, but eating it regularly causes issues for me. This pisses off my family, who don't think that there is anything wrong with me to start with.

When going out I always request somewhere with veggie options, I can get by on just veggie. Gluten free as well is a bonus. It's really frustrating being a fussy eater. I know that my diet is lacking and my meals can get repetitive and boring. It's probably more annoying for us fussy eaters than it is for those of you who can and do eat most things.

Reading some posts up thread, reminded me of a girl I used to know's mum. She would eat spam fritters, roast dinners swimming in dripping, bowls of gravy with bread in (all of which are not things I'd choose) and hadn't really ever tried many different foods throughout her life. At our graduation we were served smoked salmon starter and an Italian tomatoey pasta main. Girl's mum declared she 'couldn't eat this flobby raw stuff and why have they put tikka on the pasta?!' Makes me chuckle still.

I think YABU because I would hate to think of someone going hungry or forcing themselves to eat something they judged disgusting simply to please the group majority.

I am not fussy myself, but have one certain thing I will absolutely not eat, which is alcohol in sauces etc. Even the rice wine in black bean sauce. Because despite almost everyone else not being able to taste it, I can.

Yanbu, it's fucking infuriating.

I dont want to sit at a table with a fussy eater regaling me with tales of what they dont and wont eat. Only ever had that once but it bored me shitless as an extended convo topic. Just pick something off the menu that suits and lets get on with the occasion fgs

I went for a meal with two friend recently, the place we wanted to eat was booked so we went for tapas instead. Sheer bliss, we all eat anything and shared our dishes
Next day in work I'm eating a fairly normal lunch - some quiche, tomatoes, cucumber, hummus, bit of feta. Colleague (looks like she's going to throw up) "ugh what's that?!"
Explain. "Ewwwww I wouldn't eat ANY of that"
Well, I didn't ask you to!

On the other hand I have a colleague who has always had very plain food but wants to try new things but is worried about cooking/buying stuff. She asks to try my food because I've said if she doesn't like it, spit it out. She happily pinches things off me to try now, just normal food like beef stew, blueberries, spring onions etc

I am a picky eater. I eat before going to dinner parties so I can eat a tiny amount without being hungry later.

I don't make a fuss about it either. If we go to a restaurant that doesn't have anything I like, there's always salads to fall back on.

My mum and dad are not that fussy, but eat a very specific type of 70s food. Certain vegetables and meals are considered disgusting because it's what their mums cooked them (badly and boiled to death i do concede). So they will only eat their food swimming in butter/cream/oil/sauce etc. This of course is up to them and their cholesterol (they simply can't understand why it's high or they can't lose weight, as they only have had chicken and veg for dinner followed by fruit, ummm chicken in a cream sauce served with potatoes dauphinoise and root veg roasted in half a pint of oil followed by fruit strudel and half a pint of double cream is not a healthy midweek dinner).

But what i hate is the commentary on my food. I enjoy steamed spinach and cauli with some grilled salmon for my dinner and they bang on about how disgusting it is and now when i feed ds something like cauli cheese or fish pie, they make loads of really immature mock vomiting noises and comments to him as he's eating it about how horrible his food is and wouldn't he rather have x,y and z. I get really cross and tell them to stop as they will put ds off his food, then i get 'oh i'm only joking' and 'god! you're so sensitive'

im not too concerned about fussy children until they get to the age where they think its okay to criticize your food choices because they don't match there own my friends dd had her own segregated plate with crunchy foods separately plated too we all sit to eat and she starts how can you eat that its yucky it looks like snooooot how can you DO that its slimy/rancid/disgusting really off putting then came dessert funnily this child has no issue eating chocolate cakes especially swiss roll she took a huge bite of chocolate swiss roll and i said ewwww how can you EAT that my dog did something just like it this morning i was never invited again her husband banned me she thought it was hilarious

My PIL are here visiting at the moment. FIL is type 2 diabetes but also his religion does not permit certain foods, and on too of that he is a picky eater (no spice, no pasta!!! Doesn't like anything 'new') it's really starting to annoy me as we now have a newborn, a fussy toddler, a nursing mum (me) a 6ft2 hungry man, and an older woman to cater for, but can't make separate meals constantly!

Our two adult sons are fussy eaters in very different ways. Ds1 has gone from being a huge carnivore to being very cautious of the provenance of food so eats mainly vege/organic/free range. Ds2 is genuinely an very picky eater. Has been since childhood and shows no signs of changing. Have been to many doctors etc who have all said he will grow out of it. He is now 22. Result is we rarely eat together which is sad. He basically lives on chicken bacon and bread. No chips pizza veg or pasta. Handmade burger company one of the few places that can happily accommodate all of us if we go out for a meal. DH and I eat anything and are real foodies.

I'm quite fussy. It's a texture thing. Some foods I can't eat without gagging and others I literally can't swallow. I'm also vegetarian for ethical resons. I do worry when I visit someone else's house, about what the food will be and whether I'll be able to eat enough of it for them not to be offended. Obviously I say I'm vegetarian but I don't give them a long list of other things I don't like! And tbh, there is something on most menus I can eat, even if it's a bowl of chips. The food isn't the occasion, seeing friends is, and I definitely don't dictate a choice of restaurant. So in that respect YANBU.

There are people with all kinds of sensory issues though that make it very difficult for them - and in the case of zilwood's friend, eating fats does not mean that she doesn't have an Eating Disorder. She may not have of course, I don't know her - but being that rigid about a diet rings alarm bells for me. I used to have anorexia (I most definitely don't any more) and in hospital I met so many different people, whose "fear foods" were completely different - some happy to eat sweets but terrified of rice, some who could eat fruit and vegetables all day but nothing else, some who would eat a small, high fat thing rather than a big plate of vegetables. And anorexia isn't the only (or indeed the most common Eating Disorder) - with all this faddiness around it can be even more difficult to tell who has a genuine illness and who doesn't.

I am a fussy eater who hates faddy eaters.
My Oh is prone to claiming he can't eat certain foods as it makes him feel ... I roundly take the mickey out of him, he gets the hump and i carry on cooking like usual.

Then we go and visit his sister who doesn't eat, flour, milk (list every single stupid fad) and he thanks me.

but I've had a few near misses where my allergy was assumed to be a fad

I've had this as well, dangerous and infuriating to say the least!

Most people who have a genuine issue (allergy, intolerance, ibs, limited palette etc) tend not to like their issues taking centre stage - they can be a pain to deal with and most people I know who have problems don't want to be defined by them. Faddy people are just that, faddy! Food is just one area of possible faddyness and it's always irritating.

YANBU, it's a bit annoying in a child and quite pathetic in a grown adult.

For some people it is a control thing, definitely.

OP YANBU - I have a lot of patience with people who have genuine food allergies and intolerances (seeing as I have a nut allergy myself) but it drives me mad when grown adults fuss over food like children.

Worst of all are people who self-diagnose intolerances - I cannot stand it. A friend of mine has decided that she is intolerant to a whole raft of things including gluten, dairy, yeast, alcohol, anything fermented, anything with added sugar, mushrooms, aubergines and even bloody carrots. Obviously going to a restaurant is off the list with restrictions like that but it's also a complete pain knowing what to cook for her when she comes round (and rather than give me acceptable recipes she expects me to buy dairy free and gluten free alternatives which NEVER work the same way).

Sadly, with every additional self-diagnosis we've reduced contact further to the point where I now see her 3 times a year tops because it's too blinking stressful and complicated otherwise.