AIBU to find faddy eating habits annoying.

[runningonwillpower]

I have just spent some time with an extreme faddy eater. No special dietary needs, just preferences expressed volubly as a need.

I have preferences but because I eat a wide and varied diet, my choices have to take second place, always.

Is it really ok to dismiss perfectly ordinary food as disgusting (as I'm eating it) just because it's not your preferred choice? Is it really ok to insist on your choice of restaurant because nothing else suits?

What do people really think about the faddy eater? Should we accommodate them? Always?

I don't even know why it irritates me, it just does.

I am a fussy eater but I never go on about it. I never veto a restaurant because I don't like it. I am however more than happy with a plate of chips (although it irks me when someone makes a fuss out of my plate of chips as they'd probably moan if I asked to go somewhere else). I even wouldn't question the bill if it was split and I'd just had chips as I certainly don't want to be known as the fussy one and the one who quibbles over the bill.

Despite being a fussy eater myself, and I don't really have any real reason but I am improving (I will try new things) I still hate people that are vocal about fussiness. If you choose to be fussy, deal with it!

Atm Im trying to get my 16yr old to not make boaky faces everytime cheese is mentioned or used its bloody annoying I get she doesnt like it and im not going to make her eat it last time we were out she pulled the face because her sister had nacho s I said if she didnt behave I would take her home basically treating her like a 5 yrold sigh

Dh is fussy he wont moan or make a fuss he was forced fed stuff he hated and he says this is where it stems from

Running, why don't you find other activities to socialise over with your friend if you're tired of her eating habits affecting you so much?

I'm quite fussy with food I admit, but I'll usually find something to eat in most places, or at least have a drink. Or decline the invite if it's somewhere dire (eg. Brewer's Fayre). I really can't deal with Chinese food at all after very bad food poisoning. Just the smell makes me heave now!

If she's gadfly and rude, why bother with her?

I'll accommodate the people I think are worth accommodating, I don't bother with those who are too much effort. Simplez

*gadfly? Wtf! Faddy

But you didn't say that. You talked about faddy people and only introduced Lady Boakness when I asked you.

Not so. In my original post I asked whether it's ok to dismiss ordinary food as disgusting. I didn't think it necessary to quote directly to convey the meaning of that.

And I'm not sure I want to say what I dislike because that would contradict the spirit of my gripe. By that I mean, I keep my dislikes to myself and don't expect other people to have to accommodate them. I certainly don't tell someone I dislike something they've just cooked for me.

For what it's worth, I don't dislike whole categories of food (ok, except insects) I just have preferences within that.

Running I agree with you - it is most bloody annoying. For a time, a group of friends and I had a get-together once a month where we would each take turns in cooking a three-course meal for each other. Sort of along the lines of the "Come Dine With Me" programme. Not judging each other, just a lovely excuse for a get-together. Great idea, all started out well.

BUT, it transpired:
Someone didn't like onion or shellfish or anything spicy
Someone didn't like berries
Someone didn't like mushrooms
Someone was dairy and wheat and gluten intolerant
Someone apparently couldn't eat carbs (potato, rice, pasta, etc) It actually transpires they CAN, after accompanying them to a restaurant and that person stuffed their face with pasta

(Note, Dislike and Intolerant, not Allergy)

I personally don't like lamb or anything made with chocolate, but we had lamb several times, and chocolatey-puds, but I never said a word against it, because someone else was kind enough to cook it, so I thought it would have been incredibly impolite to mention it.

I backed out in the end, because I was getting, quite frankly, extremely pissed off with faddy people. And the dairy/wheat/gluten intolerant person served her food for all of us according to HER dietary preferences (even though the rest of us cooked her a special meal each time) and hers tasted like shite, quite frankly.

Bloody well eat what you're given. You're an adult, not a child FFS

(allergies notwithstanding, naturally)

Oh, I do feel better, having got that out -
Very therapeutic

What's ordinary food?

To me, ordinary food is rabbit meat. That's because I'm 50 and my mother grew up farming rabbits in her tiny London back garden in the 1940s and so fed it to me in stews when I grew up.

When I went to secondary school with children from a different background I discovered that my classmates regarded rabbits as pets. So I learned to keep quiet about it to preserve their squeamishness even though I ate rabbit and kept some as pets.

The rabbits I ate and Marvin and Rosie in the back garden were different.

So that's exactly why I'm asking what you regard as food and what you are faddish about. Because you are faddish.

Do you understand now?

For me, one of the things that marks you as an adult is that you eat a wide variety of foods, and have a developed palate. People who have no food allergies etc, but who will only eat about three things, and only then if they aren't touching, or green or something else irritating and pointless come across as childish. What do these people do at business lunches/ weddings/ official dinners etc? I once had to eat awful looking insecty things on a stick at a conference in China. One of them MAY have been a spider dear God I hope it wasn't! If I can eat that, then sensible grown ups can handle potatoes that are cooked a slightly different way.

A work colleague is an extremely fussy eater. She has no sensory issues/intolerances/allergies. She is just fussy. One Christmas we ate out at a chain pizza place in a shopping mall because we knew there was something she would eat. While the food wasn't inedible is was rather dull.

On another occasion at a work do we ate at an Indian restaurant. She wouldn't try anything at all, but wouldn't even just have a plate of chips (she does eat chips) because she fancied a pizza. I was sat next to her that evening and she spoiled it for everyone near her because she sat and sulked all the way through the meal.

I didn't say anything but thought to myself that she should grow up.

Disclaimer: I do get that you can't like everything - I loathe parsnips, for example. I also get that some people don't like Indian food, but it wasn't as if there was nothing for her to eat.

Oh, and she gave herself a migraine by not eating.

I am an astonishingly fussy eater, I won't eat anything unless I have made it myself. But I don't criticise other people's food choices and don't sulk through meals or make any fuss.

I think the problem with faddy eating is that it just comes across as really self centred and indulgent.

We all have food we don't like, but mostly we don't define ourselves by it.

My uncle is a coeliac. He lost lots of weight before he was diagnosed so it always make me go when someone says they get terribly bloated when they eat wheat so they obviously have an intolerance. O-kay. My uncle is much kinder, he said the fad for being gluten intolerant has been very good for him because it has become much easier to get coeliac friendly food although he admits most of it tastes awful -maybe that's why non-coeliacs lose weight when they stop eating gluten (my uncle put on weight because his gut was so much healthier).

FWIW Evans I've had to cook a few gluten and dairy free meals (DS has an egg and CMPA so him and my uncle together are a pain) and it's easier to give everyone the same thing. I find it's only a major problem for pudding because so many coeliac friendly puddings are heavy on the eggs and cream (pavlova - yum!) so make 2 puddings , one gluten free and one dairy free. But if your friend is allergic she might not be able to cook something with dairy in it because the aerosols might be enough to set off a reaction.

This is not directly about the OP, but I hate people who dick about with their food and pick it apart to examine it. Dh does this. He will remove a tiny black mark from a chip, or a small strand of white peel remnant from a mandarin before eating it, although, luckily he isn't really fussy otherwise.

Limitedperiod.
I'm a little bit surprised. You were quick to challenge me about Lady Boakness yet didn't acknowledge that you may have got that wrong.

And of course I understand. What do I call ordinary food? Anything one might expect to find in a UK supermarket or restaurant.

I cannot comment on foods found in shops the world over because that would be outside my experience. However, I can assure you that the preferences of Lady Boakness exclude most of that which can be found in a UK supermarket.

But to say again, the fussiness is just half of the irritation. There's the expectation that it be accommodated. Because no matter how faddy or not you might like to judge me, I do not expect anyone to pander to my preferences.

Limitedperiod It was in the OP; "Is it really ok to dismiss perfectly ordinary food as disgusting (as I'm eating it)"

But then, some people just love to pick a fight over nothing, eh?

im not a fussy eater but i dislike intensely peppers and sweetcorn and a lot of restaurants use peppers to add flavour to food, so when im eating out i just have to think in advance would that dish have peppers in it and i ask the waiter or waitress if they can ask the chef not to put them in and usually not a problem, my other half loves shellfish and i dont like it but he orders his favourite and i find something on the menu thats not shellfish based

Obviously some people have serious food intolerances and actually can't eat certain foods without becoming very ill. BIL has coeliac disease, but is very quiet about it and just gets on with it.

And obviously everyone has a few certain foods that they just don't like.

But anything beyond that with adults and I just feel like trotting out the old parent line of 'don't you realise there are people all over the world who would do anything to have this kind of choice of food, stop being so fucking fussy and put it in your mouth!'

limitedperiodonly I don't think you can compare a McDonalds to a nice, upmarket restaurant. Although the gherkins are the best part of the burgers, and I always eat everyone else's as well as my own!

What annoys me is when people say they don't like something they've never even tried? My dad does this. He says he doesn't like cauliflower cheese, but he's never even bloody tried it! The same for curries, chillies, pasta dishes etc.

People who bring attention to themselves via food issues piss me right off .
Dd 2 and I have numerous food problems, our diets are severely restricted .
It's quite simple - we scan the menu quietly and whisper any alterations needed to the waiting staff . (I always check before hand and If it looks like a no go we ask if its ok to bring our own food.)
I can't bear the specialness that some people seem to covet with food .
I don't care if its allergy , intolerance , ethics, religion or whatever ...just order quietly and either eat it or not.

I do get a bit irritated with people who won't even try anything new and have basically been eating the same llimited diet since they were about 5. I get that some people are naturally more adventurous than others about food but adults who refuse to eat anything with herbs, sauces, garlic, or spices and won't even try pasta or rice because they're only used to potatoes should really broaden their horizons a bit when it comes to diet. And any adult who looks at what someone else is eating and starts making disgusted faces needs a good kick up the arse.
And yes, I recognise the Christmas lunch in some boring restaurant to satisfy the colleague who only eats chicken and chips scenario

I'm a very fussy eater as I'm vegan (no meat, dairy, fish, eggs etc) and can be difficult if people want to cook for me, I don't like most processed foods (fake meats and cheeses, but will eat some), I also don't like pasta, white bread and a few other things, I'm a joy, haha. Seriously I'm pretty easy going, I just wish people would try not to cook for me, I would rather sort myself out because I'm so hard to feed, but it offends people (especially my lovely MIL) which isn't my intention.

Somebody on my faceboook said today yaay frankie and bennys has glutten free at last I wanted to say odfod just hid her instead, I know 3 people with ceoliac disease you never hear a word from them ever, can you tell this is a peeve of mine