In thinking this is absolutely not the child or parents fault

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I've spoken to my brother today his nearly 3yo daughter is cared for whilst he works by a outstanding registered child minder with quite a few years experience.

He's distraught because today the child minder phoned him requesting he collect the child earlier than usual as she had been being very very naughty, at this point no other information was provided.

It turns out the childminder had been on a day out and the not quite 3 year old was able to escape a apparently fully enclosed area and be missing long enough to escape the venue and be seen by a member of the public in a very very dangerous situation in a adjoining location (think potential to be killed). The total stranger grabbed the child (who was wearing a hi vis vest matching the childminders) and located the childminder and had a good old rant at her threatening to report her to children's services and apparently it shook the child minder up.

The childminder ranted at him about how dreadfully behaved the child is to the point that he was apologising and at no time took any responsibility for her role in the incident. She said she hadn't noticed his daughter was missing.

During the course of the conversation the childminder stated it had shaken her up because a related child had several years ago died in her care it sounded like a preventable incident caused by inappropriate supervision and she didn't want to have his daughter again because she's a disruptive horror and the child's fault the stranger yelled at her.

We are talking about a very little 2 years and 10 month old child. Surely the minder should take responsibility for what happened?

I've suggested he does not use her again and does report but he's now doubting whose responsible.

My brother does know I've posted this

tanukiton They grow out of it as little ones, then start all over again as teens - you've got it all to come again I'm afraid!

Hooray, trollhunters. Report and block, don't start on the thread.

Happydays - you are making yourself look stupid.

Fair enough.

I'm so pleased he has reported this, my eyebrows nearly went right over the top of my head reading this. I has a child the same age and would fully expect them to wonder off following whatever interested them if I didn't keep an eye in him.

Report not just to ofsted but also to the police and social services. And definitely do not send the child back!

It's so weird that the childminder told your brother all about how a stranger had gotten his dd and then how he'd ranted, then she'd ranted about how terribly behaved your brothers dd is (to him), and that this and that came up in the conversation, and that this had caused her to be shaken up, and that no one apologised... And she also told your brother that she had told the stranger that she was taking no responsibility for this. She ALSO told your brother that she had told the stranger that she hadn't noticed his dd missing

Quite incredible

Or was it your very little 2 yr old niece that told your brother all this?

Why don't you do a highlight op's posts it may make it easier to follow.

All information was provided by the childminder herself directly to my brother.
She told my brother about the stranger ranting at her in a very irate way and that the stranger ranting at her had distressed her as had the incident of bad behaviour due to her previous history(these are my translation of her words not hers so descriptive words are the ones I would use )

The her taking no responsibility was gained from her communications with my brother,my as was her not noticing his dd was missing (in context as a result of questioning as the incident would have taken much longer than a few minutes) I have no idea what the child minder said to the stranger i should imagine given the state of the childminder by the time my brother saw her (as described by my brother) she was probably flustered and did what most people do when challenged either get irate or clam up.
Everything has been presented as being the child's fault I.e not saying "I lost her" but "she ran off".

Have you really never heard about someone blaming others for their own bad behaviour and having a verbal tirade when stressed? It's not that hard to follow

happydays

I do not know the thought process behind her becoming a childminder nor do I know if a court case happened or not as this information was not provided to my brother,prior to it coming out in the conversation he had no idea about the previous child's either existence or death.

It is possible there was one I should imagine an inquest at least happened however I am not aware of any information about this.

Some Families have children who die in what many people refer to as accidents often these can be preventable many of these accidents result in no criminal proceedings at all because it is not in the public interest to do so. It is not a unusual occurrence as a result of a accident.

She needs reminding that she is a Child Minder. Minding the child is the most basic thing she should be doing.

I don't care if the child was the devil reincarnated - they were in her care and her responsibility!

I strongly suggest he report it - how would he feel if he didn't and something happened to another child in her care!

It has been reported now to both ofstead and children's services

I trialled a nanny who turned everything into my three year olds fault - until that happened I would have found it incredible that any grown adult would behave like that!

She made herself into the victim and it was very odd indeed. Ergh.